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Old

If there is a G*d...it/her/he must hate me....

Posted 04-13-2024 at 08:57 AM by TNSLPPTSO13

At least 5 chronic diseases...In poverty pretty soon....I was not granted a personality when I was born,therefore no relationships ever,no friends...can barely take care of my cat...
Isn't G*d supposued to love you unconditionally...even if I don't believe in fairy tales?

Imagine if it/her/him hated me!!!
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Old

I have no reason to kee p living...

Posted 03-31-2024 at 11:31 AM by TNSLPPTSO13

As I get weaker and weaker;to the point that literally all I do after I get home from work is stay in bed and only get up for bathroom and maybe
eat something so I won't pass out....I just wonder what I will do if my cancer improves.
I don't have friends,close-by family. My nephew has decided to become a "digital nomad" by maybe moving to S.E. Asia with a wife and 2 kids.
He's already in Cambodia.
While I wasn't really expecting to be a burden on him as...
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Old

Just waiting for death...Why don't I die before I get worse?

Posted 03-19-2024 at 01:14 PM by TNSLPPTSO13

Feeling so tired all the time....so weak...my muscle mass is gone...The chemo is apparently killing me.

Lost 43 Lbs. since November..It hurts to eat solid food..My mouth is full of sores...my lips are cracking...The roof of my mouth feels like I have an open sore on it..My taste buds are gone...
When I brush my teeth it hurts like crazy...as if I were using rubbing alcohol on my mouth sores.

Most of my teeth are gone.TBH,this is not because of the chemo...I've...
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Old

My budget for 2024...until I lose my job.

Posted 01-24-2024 at 04:05 PM by TNSLPPTSO13

Take home pay from work: $5,680
SS Income(after Medicare pmt.) $2,857
_________
Total net monthly Income $8,537

Outgo:
Stream Subscriptions:
Peacock $7
Shudder $5
Prime $12
YouTubeTV $83
Printed Media
Subscriptions:
Miami Herald $10
Creem Magazine...
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Old
Rating: 2 votes, 3.50 average.

Facing the reality of my mortality and inability to stop working

Posted 01-17-2024 at 09:33 AM by TNSLPPTSO13

Why do I still work?

Because for most of my life i ****ed up and failed
to save money...make money...spent too much on gambling and buying records.

I really can't blame myself totally...came from relatively low middle class,parents had third grade education...not a whole lot of family to get good role models/connections from...severe issues with self-confidence,self-steem,ashamed of what I looked like for most of my life.;thus no relationships whatsover...no...
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