Sarah: Todd!!!!!! Well forget that DC post office stuff .. Oprah wants to talk to me!
Todd: Huh?
Sarah: You know Todd, the lady in the not real part of America, the one who supported the guy who pals around with terrorists?
Todd: Oh her!
Sarah: And she attended that hateful church too, Reverend Wright's church too ... wow, she probably wants me to pray with her.
Todd: Is Rev. Muthee available?
Sarah: I don't think so, I think he's chasing witches out of...

Bristol: Mom, I have something to tell you
Sarah: Oh golly!!! John McCain is vetting me for VP!!!
Bristol: Mom! We really need to talk!
Sarah: What does the VP do again Todd? President of the Senate is it?
Bristol: Mom!!!!!
Sarah: Oooooo you betcha! I get to get in there an be a policymaker! Todd!!! I get to make policy!!!
Bristol: Ugh!!! I'm pregnant Mom!!!!
Sarah: Todd!!! Is Bristol home from school yet, or is she with Levi, he's such a nice boy....

Sarah: Todd!!!!!!! What's the Washington Post?
Todd: Wha?? huh???? Where's my gas can?
Sarah: Is that the main building to mail letters in DC?
Todd: Hun, where's that new box of ammo?
Sarah: Well, anyway, Todd, the DC post office doesn't have me listed as a top 10 Republican to watch. Oh shoot.
Todd: Seriously?
Sarah: Yea, seriously Todd
Todd: Ok, hun, duck.
Sarah: Noooooooo Todd ... don't shoot, I said oh shoot, like, darn it ... the post...