Despite some fine craftsmanship on behalf of the folks at places like the Centers for Disease Control and the World Health Organization in providing what is thought to be a most effective flu vaccine this year, it appears that all their efforts may not be enough.

God announced early Tuesday morning that he would be making some last minute changes to the prevalent influenza virus in circulation to make the vaccine which prevents it practically useless.

While the majority...

In what’s been brewing for several millennia and hundreds of retaliatory verbal sparring matches, individual promoters for David and Goliath have finally announced a rematch. Fight enthusiasts are overjoyed to hear of the news and much commercial promoting is expected to ensue over the course of the next few months. There are even widespread rumors the match will consist of a “Deathcage-style” ring.

Promoters of the defending champion, King David, have erected signs and billboards...

Somewhere in Africa - Forty-seven guerilla fighters were found viciously mutilated, many of them with their skulls crushed in, after a suspected gorilla attack took place some time last week.

Members of the LRA (Lord’s Resistance Army) were found in various states of morbid repose deep in the heart of the African jungle. Some of them had bananas shoved in various orifices while others appeared to have been trampled and beaten to death. The LRA, a group of only about a thousand gorilla...

I couldn’t wait to hold my hand out and receive the power of the chakra beads as I felt the energy centers within my body cling to them. While doing this, I sat next to my Yoga mat with starry fields of vision as my astrological chart predicted the future of me as a Gemini. Around my neck, the chi power pendant vibrated my psycho-spiritual muscles to fortuitous lengths as the organic water in my body vibrated in equilibrium with my scalar energy force.

Meanwhile, my power pyramid...

One of the bigger stories receiving attention in the media from both sides is the investigation of CIA agents who allegedly tortured or used “unethical” interrogation practices on terrorists to uncover information. On both sides of the aisle, the biggest complaint seems to be “Who cares? They were terrorists! If you ask me, they should have been shot! Some of them intentionally killed Americans!” In all honesty, my feelings aren’t much different. I don’t tend to side with murderers when they’re...