Skeptical politicians and civilians alike will be happy to hear of Tom Shingley’s latest climatology observation. According to Mr. Shingley, while in the midst of conversation he felt a cool summer breeze blow across his face in the middle of July. His friend commented to him what a beautiful day it was and Mr. Shingley quipped, “So much for Global Warming, huh?” At that point, Mr. Shingley felt as though he’d made a groundbreaking observation and decided to harp on the point incessantly. “You know,...

The results of a study by a student at Mid-Valley Community College indicate that the vehicles of choice for most pedophiles are ice-cream trucks. The student, Brock Hammonds, a freshman at the local community college, decided to undertake the survey as part of his “Introduction to Business” class.

“I decided to look at the various vehicles that pedophiles have been known to carouse around in so that I can inform parents of what to watch out for,” Brock was quoted as saying. Although...

PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) has brought forth a landmark case against the authors of the Bible for their promotion of mistreating animals. PETA’s motion is largely geared towards the story of Noah and the Ark. They cite it as providing Biblical grounds for people to acknowledge that mistreating animals is alright.

Most of their claims are geared towards the idea that the holding pens aboard the ark were not big enough for two of each animal to fit inside of...

The Associated Press is reporting that one of the benefits introduced into the $787 billion dollar bailout for the U.S. economy is directed towards replenishing Lucky O’Malley’s pot o’ gold.

It’s widely believed that the language offering Mr. O’Malley and his pot o’ gold a bailout was snuck into the bill at the last minute before those voting on it had a chance to fully read it. Largely to blame for this type of last minute language introduced into bills of this sort is the special...

In the most recent turn of events today, it was found that Satan, AKA The Devil, AKA Beelzebub, AKA The Deceiver, AKA The Destroyer of Light, AKA The Father of Lies, AKA Belial, AKA Leviathan, AKA Lucifer, AKA The Power of Darkness, AKA The Ruler of Demons, AKA The Wicked One, AKA The Antichrist, has been using the Patriot Act to eavesdrop on the human population.

It seems that due to intentionally obfuscated language written into the Patriot Act, Satan (amongst other names) has found...