Healing and becoming
Learning to mourn the hopes of a normal life that I wanted so much and have pursued for so long.coming to terms instead with the intwaso I go through,though luckily so rarely, once a year but still,much smaller nightly true sufferings I go through.
Beginning to deal with it,means I can learn to manage it better and am more gentle on myself and what I can do.I could have myself drugged but the half dead,suppressed,jerky,toxic and fat results are beyond all my principles.
Of course if I was born among my own tribal culture I would have a wealth of support,an amagquirra (shaman),free housing and the rest, but here I am in the west were it is a hindrance at best.I don't have anything like a normal life, and it is harder than others but spiritually I lead a life of enormous depth and meaning.
Most people like me in the west,are drugged into a stupor and go on pensions, not an option for me so I must come up with a livelihood,hopefully working only two days per week.
All I can really do today is read about shamanic illness (I dreamt multiple times years ago that I was an amagquirra - in my culture a shamaness) and see how others coped,in this climate of suppression it is hard to see that it is Infact a gift, and not meant as much as a burden, but a gift that has no use in the west.
This woman on her life as a mundang (shamaness) gives a good account.
https://www.hiahpark.com/english/press-media/interview/
Beginning to deal with it,means I can learn to manage it better and am more gentle on myself and what I can do.I could have myself drugged but the half dead,suppressed,jerky,toxic and fat results are beyond all my principles.
Of course if I was born among my own tribal culture I would have a wealth of support,an amagquirra (shaman),free housing and the rest, but here I am in the west were it is a hindrance at best.I don't have anything like a normal life, and it is harder than others but spiritually I lead a life of enormous depth and meaning.
Most people like me in the west,are drugged into a stupor and go on pensions, not an option for me so I must come up with a livelihood,hopefully working only two days per week.
All I can really do today is read about shamanic illness (I dreamt multiple times years ago that I was an amagquirra - in my culture a shamaness) and see how others coped,in this climate of suppression it is hard to see that it is Infact a gift, and not meant as much as a burden, but a gift that has no use in the west.
This woman on her life as a mundang (shamaness) gives a good account.
https://www.hiahpark.com/english/press-media/interview/
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