Nourishing food,living your principles,Mother Mary

Feeling a little better reading posie gets cozy which is cheerful,talking about pear-cinnamon cider and homemade mushroom sauce.Feel so much like nourishing good food, I had some cannelloni with vegetables,I'm fixed on Italian food at the moment and it's all I want to eat and if I was well I'd eat three lovely full nourishing meals a day.It does you so good.Oh can you imagine growing everything in your vegetable garden and cooking from it.I really can't imagine anything better.Thought alot today of the life I long for,poetry in the evenings and films,singing round the house,dives in the ocean,a great spiritual life,dancing,real food,real healing,writing all the time,making jewels - I have to walk toward all that somehow.I don't always seem to live in line with what my heart wants or what my principles truly are but I do try the best I can,I don't think I'll feel right till I'm living in principle with my highest beliefs and wishes.I thought alot about getting more support in my life too,and am making some plans for that.

I think tonite I'll watch room with a view,drink tea and think of him.I worked on my 'divine feminine' board on Pinterest adding images of mother Mary and other quotes,though Mary doesn't resonate that deeply for me she is the mother goddess of our times,a sort of Isis who represents that all encompassing nurturing life giving force.There are books I'm still to read, two more dictionary of symbols I wish to purchase but I don't seem to have the worryless life atm that allows you to ponder and read much.But I vowed last night not to be overcome with worry,that I could do my best but worry would add nought to my predicaments except sorrow.I must get on with my day and cope.

I'm not soaring on any great heights,not coming up with novels about a woman researching an obscure English fairy tale or inheriting a cottage,I don't know why probably stress,I really really miss it.I miss feeling very inspired and spirited,I am inward though I am having cosy thoughts and wishing for better things.Im able to imagine lovely things,maybe I need to be reading fiction,visiting some better realm I've really never read fiction.But I like to write it,If things settle down I may start my novels again,or at least my studying again that really fulfils me.I was completely immersed in that in Febuary to March reading ancient British books and other things I can't remember now.I thought today I want my whole life to be as it was these last four months only well,safe and blooming and in a sweet timber cottage.Now to listen to some vance joy.