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almost ok for a minute

Posted 06-02-2022 at 12:32 AM by trickydawn


Today was my first day at Veo, and it was good for my heart and soul to be out of the apt and out of my head for part of the day. When I got off work, I was able to just make it in time for Ally's sonogram appt, but I almost wish I had missed it. I only say this because of her and Jacobey are still having arough time. He called me yesterday so upset because he had said something to Ally about being at the hospital next Thursday at 5am with her to check in for the ceserean section. I don't know how he said it or what their interactions were like before that, but she told him he should just stay in bed than and sleep and she will call him when the surgery is over and baby is here. She wants her Mom in the room with her anyways and he doesnt need to even be at the hospital, and they will be doing the paternity test. I get her wanting her Mom in there, and the rules are even stricter than ever with Covid. She is scared, it is a scary thing to be going thru. She also told him he left to Nevada and didn't want to be there anyways, and he should have just stayed. I spent some time with here while he was gone, and I know she was hurting and wanting him back here. I explained how he had been hurting so much the last few months and felt hopeless and so depressed he was stuck for sure. They both hurt each other, they both have been very remorseful, but scared to put their hearts on the line with the other again, yet cant let the pain go and love and nurture this baby and theirselves. JC barely spoke in the appt, had his head down and eyes closed most of it, and just looked like he was depleted of all emotions except broken. It tore my heart out to see their disconnection with each other, the thickness in the air, and I am so scared the baby will end up with her family on the east coast and I wont get to see him grow, love him in person, watch Jc fall in love and raise his son and grow into manhood as his child learns to be a person, and afraid what I will see is JC be so affected by this, he will start self medicating to cope with his feelings. All the best things in his spirit and heart are the exact things that will hurt from this. Hurt so much it will change him, and that will seriouslycrush me. Father God, please soften both of their hearts toward each other, and give them the strenth and mutual desire to love the child you have gifted them more than the hurt and anger toward the other and fear of the future and parenting. Father, please give me the words needed that will help them belive it will be ok and they can do this. Please Father, also give me direction to do what they need from me to believe it will be ok. Amen
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