The conflict between eating well and throwing out food
These are the musings of a person feeling unintentionally sabotaged and wondering if anyone else struggles with the idea of throwing out perfectly good but fattening food and desserts.
I have lost 12 pounds--over four months. The slowness is discouraging, but it's better than losing nothing, and I want to keep going. No name-brand "diet" here, just changed back to a sorta Mediterranean way of eating--more fish, lots more vegetables, little dairy, little or no bread/flour. It worked for me once before, and in fact, while I gained some weight back during my stint as a caregiver, I also kept some off. I know what to do. Sugar is a big no-no, especially since it is a weakness. Ice cream in particular was always my downfall, and so I won't buy it.
I walk regularly and have added swimming to the mix this summer. Besides the fact that I think I could LIVE in the water, actually swimming for exercise is a great all-over body workout for an old bat like me.
I lost my fiance earlier this year, and I am currently staying at his house for a few weeks, a beautiful, magical place on a lake in the woods. The plan was that while I was up here, I would so some writing, and I would double-down on my eating and exercise regimen. But then people came to visit.
I invited the first batch, which included my daughter and three of our friends, to come up for the initial weekend. I got here first, stopping at the farm market on the way in for loads of fresh vegetables and fruit, as well as some fish and a bag of frozen burgers for the non-fish eaters.
My friends arrived with a banana bread she'd baked and a tray of homemade lasagna. Made with ground turkey, but still LASAGNA. OK, I can eat that for one night, it's fine. We had a great time on the water and sat up into the wee hours watching the Perseid meteor shower. It was during that time that my friend remembered she'd brought a bag of double-stuff Oreos. Yes, they were good. But it was a special weekend, see? Banana bread with coffee for breakfast. Hey, they are only here two days, then I can get back to my better way of eating.
The next night, I took control of dinner, making baked salmon and a salad, and my vegetarian daughter added a Thai vegetable curry. Delicious.
But my daughter had also decided that she was making a peach cobbler, which, as a gluten-free person, she makes with oatmeal, but that she would take a break from her vegan pursuits because we needed French vanilla ice cream to go with the cobbler.
Did I ever mention how good the ice cream in Ontario is? Rich and creamy...and apparently my friends thought so, too, because the next day they ran out and bought a second container of a chocolate and nut mix flavor called Moose Tracks because they aren't big on French vanilla. Then they forgot about it until they were leaving at the end of the weekend, at which time one of them said, "Oh, I have to have a spoonful of that Moose Tracks before I go." And she did. A spoonful, leaving the rest in the freezer.
And then they were gone, and I was alone for two days with my vegetables and fish and eggs...and two containers of ice cream in the freezer and a half package of double-stuff Oreos in the cabinet. Fortunately, the banana bread had been consumed.
I picked at it all, lying to myself that a spoonful or two or four of ice cream and a cookie now and then doesn't hurt. But it does, oh it does. The scale in the bathroom does not lie.
Two days later, the horde that is my late fiance's siblings, spouses, and sons arrived. With...Lasagna, the beef variety. One sister also brought a whole container of the same wonderful ice cream, this time S'Mores flavor, which she was so excited to have found because apparently, this one is seasonal. She parked it in my freezer next to the other two flavors. It was wonderful to have them here. We distributed some of my late love's ashes, as well as that of his dog, around the yard and in the lake. They sorted through his belongings and took a lot of things out of the house, a great help to his sons, who are overwhelmed by all their late dad's possessions. Then most of them departed, leaving me with leftover lasagna, some sort of high-calorie orzo salad that I didn't try, and a full tub of ice cream.
One of the sons remained with me, and thankfully, polished off the S'Mores ice cream all by himself, except for a few spoonfuls I had here and there.
Two days later, late fiance's best friend arrived for a few days bearing a blueberry coffee cake and a sympathy card for me from his ex-wife. Fortunately, son and friend ate some of the blueberry cake so I didn't have to eat it all myself.
Friend also decided that we needed to get a pizza for dinner.
Everyone's gone now. I still have squash and tomatoes and lettuce green beans and carrots and salmon, and I'm getting back on track now that I am alone.
But there are still two half-tubs of delicious ice cream in the freezer, and there were still Oreos and a piece of blueberry cake left, as well as some lasagna and one slice of pizza.
I took a deep breath and threw the cookies and the cake out to the birds this morning. The last piece of pizza will become crow food. I am thinking of driving up the road to where there are no houses and throwing the lasagna, sans the pan, of course, into the woods for whatever critter might like Italian food. I'm not even tempted after seeing too much of it. Not sure what to do with the ice cream. I've thought of leaving it out at night for the raccoons and collecting the containers in the morning, but raccoons have a way of coming back for more once they've found a food source, and I'm pretty sure the neighbors don't want them hanging around. Then there's the fact that bears also live in these woods, although they tend to stay away in summer when there are more people around. But food always wins when it comes to bears.
I have such internal conflict about throwing away edible food. I was raised by Depression-era parents, and you didn't throw food away. My father would cut the mold off cheese and eat the good part. Once a week my mother would clean out the refrigerator and dinner would be whatever was left over all heated up in a big pan.
I suppose the thought that might come to some people's minds are that I should just leave the ice cream in the freezer, the cookies in the pantry. Freeze leftovers.
It doesn't work that way. I will forthrightly admit that I have no willpower, and if I know ice cream is in the freezer, I AM going to eat it. If I know cookies and cake are around, I AM going to eat them. It seems I have no choice but to throw out the tasty but fattening food if I want to continue this weight-loss journey.
In the past, the internal teachings of my parents often won. Eat the food, don't let it go to waste. I'm doing something different this time. Sorry, Mom, Dad, and everyone who thought it was a great idea to bring me treats. It's going.
I have lost 12 pounds--over four months. The slowness is discouraging, but it's better than losing nothing, and I want to keep going. No name-brand "diet" here, just changed back to a sorta Mediterranean way of eating--more fish, lots more vegetables, little dairy, little or no bread/flour. It worked for me once before, and in fact, while I gained some weight back during my stint as a caregiver, I also kept some off. I know what to do. Sugar is a big no-no, especially since it is a weakness. Ice cream in particular was always my downfall, and so I won't buy it.
I walk regularly and have added swimming to the mix this summer. Besides the fact that I think I could LIVE in the water, actually swimming for exercise is a great all-over body workout for an old bat like me.
I lost my fiance earlier this year, and I am currently staying at his house for a few weeks, a beautiful, magical place on a lake in the woods. The plan was that while I was up here, I would so some writing, and I would double-down on my eating and exercise regimen. But then people came to visit.
I invited the first batch, which included my daughter and three of our friends, to come up for the initial weekend. I got here first, stopping at the farm market on the way in for loads of fresh vegetables and fruit, as well as some fish and a bag of frozen burgers for the non-fish eaters.
My friends arrived with a banana bread she'd baked and a tray of homemade lasagna. Made with ground turkey, but still LASAGNA. OK, I can eat that for one night, it's fine. We had a great time on the water and sat up into the wee hours watching the Perseid meteor shower. It was during that time that my friend remembered she'd brought a bag of double-stuff Oreos. Yes, they were good. But it was a special weekend, see? Banana bread with coffee for breakfast. Hey, they are only here two days, then I can get back to my better way of eating.
The next night, I took control of dinner, making baked salmon and a salad, and my vegetarian daughter added a Thai vegetable curry. Delicious.
But my daughter had also decided that she was making a peach cobbler, which, as a gluten-free person, she makes with oatmeal, but that she would take a break from her vegan pursuits because we needed French vanilla ice cream to go with the cobbler.
Did I ever mention how good the ice cream in Ontario is? Rich and creamy...and apparently my friends thought so, too, because the next day they ran out and bought a second container of a chocolate and nut mix flavor called Moose Tracks because they aren't big on French vanilla. Then they forgot about it until they were leaving at the end of the weekend, at which time one of them said, "Oh, I have to have a spoonful of that Moose Tracks before I go." And she did. A spoonful, leaving the rest in the freezer.
And then they were gone, and I was alone for two days with my vegetables and fish and eggs...and two containers of ice cream in the freezer and a half package of double-stuff Oreos in the cabinet. Fortunately, the banana bread had been consumed.
I picked at it all, lying to myself that a spoonful or two or four of ice cream and a cookie now and then doesn't hurt. But it does, oh it does. The scale in the bathroom does not lie.
Two days later, the horde that is my late fiance's siblings, spouses, and sons arrived. With...Lasagna, the beef variety. One sister also brought a whole container of the same wonderful ice cream, this time S'Mores flavor, which she was so excited to have found because apparently, this one is seasonal. She parked it in my freezer next to the other two flavors. It was wonderful to have them here. We distributed some of my late love's ashes, as well as that of his dog, around the yard and in the lake. They sorted through his belongings and took a lot of things out of the house, a great help to his sons, who are overwhelmed by all their late dad's possessions. Then most of them departed, leaving me with leftover lasagna, some sort of high-calorie orzo salad that I didn't try, and a full tub of ice cream.
One of the sons remained with me, and thankfully, polished off the S'Mores ice cream all by himself, except for a few spoonfuls I had here and there.
Two days later, late fiance's best friend arrived for a few days bearing a blueberry coffee cake and a sympathy card for me from his ex-wife. Fortunately, son and friend ate some of the blueberry cake so I didn't have to eat it all myself.
Friend also decided that we needed to get a pizza for dinner.
Everyone's gone now. I still have squash and tomatoes and lettuce green beans and carrots and salmon, and I'm getting back on track now that I am alone.
But there are still two half-tubs of delicious ice cream in the freezer, and there were still Oreos and a piece of blueberry cake left, as well as some lasagna and one slice of pizza.
I took a deep breath and threw the cookies and the cake out to the birds this morning. The last piece of pizza will become crow food. I am thinking of driving up the road to where there are no houses and throwing the lasagna, sans the pan, of course, into the woods for whatever critter might like Italian food. I'm not even tempted after seeing too much of it. Not sure what to do with the ice cream. I've thought of leaving it out at night for the raccoons and collecting the containers in the morning, but raccoons have a way of coming back for more once they've found a food source, and I'm pretty sure the neighbors don't want them hanging around. Then there's the fact that bears also live in these woods, although they tend to stay away in summer when there are more people around. But food always wins when it comes to bears.
I have such internal conflict about throwing away edible food. I was raised by Depression-era parents, and you didn't throw food away. My father would cut the mold off cheese and eat the good part. Once a week my mother would clean out the refrigerator and dinner would be whatever was left over all heated up in a big pan.
I suppose the thought that might come to some people's minds are that I should just leave the ice cream in the freezer, the cookies in the pantry. Freeze leftovers.
It doesn't work that way. I will forthrightly admit that I have no willpower, and if I know ice cream is in the freezer, I AM going to eat it. If I know cookies and cake are around, I AM going to eat them. It seems I have no choice but to throw out the tasty but fattening food if I want to continue this weight-loss journey.
In the past, the internal teachings of my parents often won. Eat the food, don't let it go to waste. I'm doing something different this time. Sorry, Mom, Dad, and everyone who thought it was a great idea to bring me treats. It's going.
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