I Am Tired Tonight

I had three sleep since about 8am Friday morning. A catnap is not un-common; it's the norm for me a couple of reasons. I have a skin disease that is most active betwen sunset and sunrise, up. at night. Not only does it itch all night, the itch location changes frequently. Sometimes it is in and ear, and someiimes on both ankles. In three years I have not discovered any spot that can't itch. nor have I discovered the maxinum number of combinations it can itch. Every dat us a syroruse, right now it is on the inside of my left wrist, outside of my left ankle and my scalp. Right now it is just a little annoying tickle. It won't be ratty until the blisters appear. The itch is so intense if I could not control it with drugs I would kill myself to get relief. Back to why I am tired.

My normal day begins when my feet hit the floor - before I am fully awake. I dry out the medications for the mroning and fill the nebulizer treatment. Then I have time to
wash my face and driss. and check email. I hope to receive the answer to how Alice and William Jett 1770-1845 are related, and who their parents are. No reply. Time to fix breakfast and set out the after breakfast medicine. In between I put out the dog, let him in and feed him a morning treat. It's a good day, I have time to go down stairs and starrt a load of clothes. I"ll finish it after lunch. Unless I have to call for oxygen supplies or pharmacy or doctor or sister-in-law or daughter or vet. I have a few short hours to do a little genealogy before it is time to start dinner and more meds which are finally done for the day about midnight.

The dog woke me up to go out at 3am and an hour later. By 5:30 I was cleaning up bllod and bandaging my spouse who never falls. I am praying this is an isolated incident. And I think God I have enough money to keep my home pharmacy stocked.

My spouse takes Coumadin - a fancy name for the WWI drug Warfarin that killed rats by thinning their blood tp a point they bled out and died. I almost fainted the first time I saw blood ripping on the floor. "I think I'm bleeding", the spouse says. It looked like a fake arm straight from a hollywood horror set except it wasn't a fake. The cause that time was a prick from a rose thorn. Last night was from a carpet. Carpet "burm" is painful when we are young. It's much different when you are old iif the skin is thin. You don't get just the sore spot, that would be too easy. Instead several thin layers of skin is removed and the blood gushes before it clots.. And that is what happened this morning. It's been busy every since. The carpenter installed handrials so hopefully I won't fall down the basement steps again. That was what you call a TRIP. The retired carpenter is also our driver. He was kind enough to help me run a few quick errands. I need to remind my self to buy some rolls of cloth tape for the pharmacy.

I talked to my daughter tonight. She's been batling lymphoma for a couple of years and has a short gut because of over-radiation. It looks like the end is approaching. She said the doc said last week the intenstings are collapsing There isnn't much help for it Te cholestomy won't work because ther is nothing left inside to attach the bag.

And I talked to sister-in-law Jean. Onetta is still non-responsive. She lost her husband in 2004/ Her sons flew home today. They we are scheduled to talk to the doctor about her future life if there is one. Shes been on a ventilator for several weeks for various things, but had not responded since she had two seizures last week.

If you ever want to know what to stock in a home pharmacy, let me know. I carry mine to extreme because I never know if the next "oweee" will be a pin prick or MRSA on the feet. You can never have enough emergency suplies if you have an aging person or a toddler in the house.

In a couple of house I will go to bed and finish my catnap. I am glad my family is still together despite the fact the future isn't too bright right now.

I want to present a calm and collected face to the world, but you know, inside I'm just a terrified little kid. I don't want to watch a second child die.

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