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‘Eek’ Emoticon Shall Inherit The Earth After Biblical Translation Error Fixed
Posted 08-21-2009 at 04:39 AM by GCSTroop
The ‘Eek’ Emoticon, an unemployed forty-seven year old man living in his mother’s basement, woke up to a pleasant surprise this morning. He shall inherit the Earth. At least, that is, according to what Biblical scholars and archaeologists have suggested after ample research into a suggested translation error found in a text dating back just a few years after Christ’s death.
Some researchers have always been troubled by the verse in Matthew 5:5 which states “Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the Earth.” No one really ever knew who the meek were or really what meek meant so it was a matter of much debate in Biblical circles over whether the translation was accurate or not.
Late last year, as archaeologists were digging through an ancient sewer system, they found a manuscript dating back to approximately 92.553 A.D. that began to clear up some of the confusion. In that particular text, some key elements of the writing referred to a different Greek word than what was thought to have initially been used. Translated correctly, the verse in Matthew should read, “Blessed is Eek, for he shall inherit the Earth.”
Mr. Eek told us he was informed by his mother shortly after he had released Princess Toadstool from Bowser, the evil villain in the popular Nintendo game Super Mario Brothers. He cited today as being one of the happiest days of his life, “It’s like winning the lottery,” he said. “I’ve been playing Super Mario Brothers for over 20 years and I finally beat the game by releasing the Princess from her captor. After I called my Mom down to the basement to show her what glorious achievement I had unlocked, she told me to sit down and get ready for some more good news. After she explained to me that some guys from an archaeological team had written her a letter informing me of my inheritance, I nearly fainted with shock. Imagine that? In just one simple morning you can go from unemployed to having beaten Super Mario Brothers and also becoming the inheritor of the Earth. Now, that’s a good day.”
Eek, who suffers from a unique eye disease caused by having played video games in a dark basement for the last twenty years, has not offered to make many public appearances in daylight. His plans on what to do with his inheritance haven’t been fully made as of yet but he guarantees one thing, “There will be lots of video games!”
Some researchers have always been troubled by the verse in Matthew 5:5 which states “Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the Earth.” No one really ever knew who the meek were or really what meek meant so it was a matter of much debate in Biblical circles over whether the translation was accurate or not.
Late last year, as archaeologists were digging through an ancient sewer system, they found a manuscript dating back to approximately 92.553 A.D. that began to clear up some of the confusion. In that particular text, some key elements of the writing referred to a different Greek word than what was thought to have initially been used. Translated correctly, the verse in Matthew should read, “Blessed is Eek, for he shall inherit the Earth.”
Mr. Eek told us he was informed by his mother shortly after he had released Princess Toadstool from Bowser, the evil villain in the popular Nintendo game Super Mario Brothers. He cited today as being one of the happiest days of his life, “It’s like winning the lottery,” he said. “I’ve been playing Super Mario Brothers for over 20 years and I finally beat the game by releasing the Princess from her captor. After I called my Mom down to the basement to show her what glorious achievement I had unlocked, she told me to sit down and get ready for some more good news. After she explained to me that some guys from an archaeological team had written her a letter informing me of my inheritance, I nearly fainted with shock. Imagine that? In just one simple morning you can go from unemployed to having beaten Super Mario Brothers and also becoming the inheritor of the Earth. Now, that’s a good day.”
Eek, who suffers from a unique eye disease caused by having played video games in a dark basement for the last twenty years, has not offered to make many public appearances in daylight. His plans on what to do with his inheritance haven’t been fully made as of yet but he guarantees one thing, “There will be lots of video games!”
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