Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > Blogs > "Goodnight John Boy!"
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I caught an old episode of the "Waltons" last night and it brought me back to my childhood. (Back to "simplier" times!)...My Dad used to call my younger son "John Boy" when he was small. My son loved it! (And remembered it all his life.)...You'd never catch my older son watching old reruns of the "Waltons" or "Little House on the Prairie." But my younger son loved watching these shows because they gave him a "window" into the past. And they were about families...My older son took pride in being a "modern" and "with the times" kind of guy! I'm sure he viewed the rest of us as "old grey mares" because we enjoyed telling "tales" from the past. And taking trips down "memory lane."...My younger son "ate" it all "up" and kept begging for "more" when we started sharing stories from the past. He said this gave him a chance to get to know us even "better." And he loved hearing about life back in the "old days."...Both of my sons are gone now along with my husband and parents and everyone else. I am the only "apple" left on my "family tree." Watching the old episode of the "Waltons" last night helped me feel like I was part of a family again. (And this was sure nice!)
Rating: 2 votes, 4.50 average.

May flowers?.. Or May "blues?"

Posted 05-09-2013 at 03:02 PM by CArizona


This will be my first Mother's Day since both my sons passed away...I'm still technically a "mom" even though I don't have any children left or alive anymore...Today would have been my 27th wedding anniversary if my husband was still alive...And both my sons' birthdays are in May too...I don't want to get too caught-up in the "blues" just because May is full of so many special dates and memories...Can't let myself "drown" in self-pity...I bought a chocolate cake today in honor of my anniversary and Mother's Day. I just had a slice of it with fresh strawberries on the side. YUM!...I'm going to spoil myself as much as possible and cry when needed too...What else can I do?
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 67065 Comments 248
Total Comments 248

Comments

  1. Old Comment
    What if we didn't have changing seasons? And each day of every year was exactly the same?...Seasons definitely push us out of our ruts. Don't you think?...We can't wear shorts or wool coats 365 days a year. Our clothing and habits have to "fit" the weather...I live in the desert Southwest and we don't really have 4 distinct seasons. But we still have to make some shifts and adjustments when Winter finally sets in or Spring rolls around...I'm not ready to put my jacket or sweaters or long pants away yet. But the weather has a mind of its own and Spring wants to take over and heat things up...Oh well! Time to adjust and adapt and go with the "flow!" Right?
    permalink
    Posted 03-30-2014 at 10:01 PM by CArizona CArizona is offline
  2. Old Comment
    I met my husband on April 13th in 1982!...He captured my attention right off the bat because he was so cute!.. He wasn't "hard" or cynical or "burnt-out" on life. And I wasn't either...Despite our problems and earlier set-backs and disappointments, we still had hope and a sense of joy left inside of us...Even though my husband is "gone" now (and my sons), I still try to find some joy in life. I don't want to become a "dead-beat" or totally "negative."...Or "sour" and miserable and "hardened!" YUK!...I have to work to "stay up." And sometimes, I just need to let myself cry for awhile. Of course I feel sad and I miss my loved ones. But I don't want to "drown" in sorrow. Or non-stop self-pity.
    permalink
    Posted 04-01-2014 at 10:53 AM by CArizona CArizona is offline
  3. Old Comment
    It feels good to be writing again...I'm not writing to gain attention or "acclaim" or even validation...Basically, I'm writing "for me." To be "true" to myself. (In other words.)...Writing has been in my blood and a big part of me since I was a kid...I'm not sure why. Who knows? I guess I was just born this way or ??...Anyway, it feels good to be writing again. And I'm going to keep it up!.. Write a little bit everyday. To be "true" to myself!
    permalink
    Posted 04-02-2014 at 05:56 PM by CArizona CArizona is offline
  4. Old Comment
    Soon, it will be a year since I started this blog. I've sure been through a lot of "ups" and "downs" and "turn-arounds" this past year...Sometimes I feel a teenager again. (Who is just learning about life.)...I guess it's good to feel like a teenager since I'm 65 now! But it can be a little confusing too!...Oh well! I'm still taking things "day-by-day." And hoping for the "best!"...If I step in some "doo-doo" along the way, I just wipe-off my shoes and look for a way to "fix" and solve my problems. And "carry-on!" (Even though I'm not always sure where I'm "headed!")
    permalink
    Posted 04-03-2014 at 09:58 AM by CArizona CArizona is offline
  5. Old Comment
    What makes you feel "rich?" Is it always about money or acquiring new possessions?...Have you felt "rich" in other circumstances? Falling in love and finding the right "mate" can feel like "striking gold." Don't you think?...Having loving and loyal friends "for life" can make a person "feel wealthy." Same goes for pets who love us unconditionally...Having a roof over our heads and being able to "stay afloat financially" is a "big deal" these days...I don't want to take anyone or anything "for granted" anymore. And I want to stop and "count my blessings" on a periodic basis so I will feel "rich."...I may not have "much" but I want to value and appreciate what I do "have." And stop whining and complaining about what I "don't have!"...It could be "worse!" I lost my husband and sons and 5 cats all within a few years. But I still have 1 cat left and I'm still here and "ticking!"...I want to focus a little less on what I've "lost" and start giving thanks for what I "still have!" And my "potential" for the future!
    permalink
    Posted 04-03-2014 at 01:58 PM by CArizona CArizona is offline
  6. Old Comment
    My friend's son-in-law passed away yesterday...A couple of years ago, my friend lost her son. And now, her daughter is a widow with 3 young children. It's so sad...My friend spent the night with her daughter and grandkids. She had trouble sleeping and we sent texts back and forth to each other...This is my longtime childhood friend. We met at summer camp decades ago when we were both 10...Now, we live about 300 (plus) miles from each other but we keep in touch through phone calls and texts...I feel so sad and sorry that my friend's daughter lost her husband at such a young age. And the kids lost their father...I had trouble sleeping myself last night. It brought back memories of how I felt after my husband and sons passed-away...I wish I had a "magic wand" and could bring everyone "back." (My friend's son and son-in-law too.)
    permalink
    Posted 04-04-2014 at 08:32 AM by CArizona CArizona is offline
  7. Old Comment
    Little more about my friend. (The friend who just lost her son-in-law.)...Last year, my friend was "there" for me on the first anniversary date of my younger son's death...She couldn't be with me "in-person" since her husband is struggling with ongoing health problems. So we talked on the phone for hours and hours...My friend's phone call and love and concern meant the "world" to me...I told her that my son always had a "crush" on her. He used to say that he hoped he'd meet and marry someone just like her one day...My friend never "ages." She's still "perky" and "playful" and fun-loving...Life may hand her "blows" and "set-backs," but she always finds a way to "bounce-back."...We talk about our sorrow and sadness. And problems we're facing. But we let ourselves "get silly" and feel like "kids" again too...We have a "healthy" and "well-balanced" relationship where the sun always finds a way to "break-through" the clouds. (No matter what!)
    permalink
    Posted 04-04-2014 at 09:01 AM by CArizona CArizona is offline
  8. Old Comment
    Phew! It's getting hot here in the desert. We'll probably "hit" 100 degrees tomorrow and "stay hot" for days...Oh well! I can't turn back the clock to December. Spring has "sprung" and it's going to get hotter and hotter as the days roll on...Last year, it was 125-126 degrees for a couple of days in July. (When I was moving.)...No telling how hot we'll be this Summer. I hope we have a few more days in the 80's before we really start to "fry!"
    permalink
    Posted 04-07-2014 at 07:46 PM by CArizona CArizona is offline
  9. Old Comment
    My friend Willie had another "health scare" yesterday. I took him to the ER because his blood pressure shot way up...Thankfully, he didn't have to spend the night in the hospital. And he's doing much better now...My other (local) friend Carol is worried that she might have breast cancer. She's going in for testing tomorrow...I know my way "around" our local hospitals pretty well.. It hasn't been that long since my loved ones needed "care" and medical attention and I was right "there" by their side. (Always hoping for the "best!" Hoping they would "recover.")...I'm sure glad Willie is "okay" now. Hope Carol doesn't have breast cancer.
    permalink
    Posted 04-09-2014 at 05:50 PM by CArizona CArizona is offline
  10. Old Comment
    I'm going to "chill" today. Take life slow and "easy."...I don't want to rush-around all over the place. Or "do drama."...This day is strictly for me. And my cat Gracie...I promised Gracie a "kick-back" and "cuddle-up" kind of day where we put our "troubles" up on the shelf...I'm not going to "rescue" anyone else today either. (Unless a "life and death" situation falls on my lap.)..Time for a "break." Time to be "carefree."
    permalink
    Posted 04-10-2014 at 09:04 AM by CArizona CArizona is offline
  11. Old Comment
    When my husband and sons were alive, we always made a point of saying "good job" to each other. (For big or small accomplishments.)...My parents were the same way...But now that I'm all alone, I hardly ever say "good job" to myself. Basically, I take my "work" and my efforts and ideas "for granted."...We're cautioned NOT to take other people "for granted." But what about ourselves? Don't we deserve a little "something?"...I'm going to make it a goal to tell myself "good job" a little more often. (Starting today.)...It's easy to "rag" on myself when I "screw-up" or make mistakes...Now, I want to get in the habit of praising myself when I "do good!"..I'm not worried about getting a "big head!" I know I'll always be my "worst critic!"
    permalink
    Posted 04-11-2014 at 01:19 PM by CArizona CArizona is offline
  12. Old Comment
    My friend's "big sis" still calls me every couple of weeks on Sunday afternoons...We've never met in-person but we've grown closer and closer through our phone calls...She doesn't have to play "big sis" or "head of the family" or "matriarch" with me. (Since I'm not one of her sisters or a member of her family.)...Every so often, she really lets her "hair down." And surprises me!...She has a cute sense of humor and a "playful side."...I think she gets tired of playing "matriarch" or "queen-bee" all the time. But she feels obligated to keep playing-out this role in her family...It's not easy to uphold an "image." Or stay in "character!"...My Mom was the oldest one in her family and I know she tried to be "the rock." I was an only child so I didn't have to deal with older or younger siblings.
    permalink
    Posted 04-14-2014 at 09:38 AM by CArizona CArizona is offline
  13. Old Comment
    It's funny when people ask me what I "do" all day. I'm not sure what they expect me to say...I do plenty of normal things. (Cook, clean, shop, take care of my cat, etc.)...Sometimes, I tell people that I'm a "has-been" and I'm okay with it. (At least for now.)...Whew! My friends can really come "unglued" if I call myself a "has-been." I can get lectures!...They don't realize that I'm just "playing." ("Poking fun" at myself and my current situation.)...I don't want to "take on the world" or "build skyscrapers" right now...I'm going through a "lull" and working through my grief. (In my own time, and in my own way!)...I'm fine! I'm not complaining! Nobody has to step-in and "fix me!" Or plan activities for me...It's nice to "take it easy" and feel "off-the-hook!"...In time, I'll probably want to do a little "more." And I'll be ready to give-up my "has-been" status!
    permalink
    Posted 04-14-2014 at 10:14 AM by CArizona CArizona is offline
  14. Old Comment
    I cried today. (For the first time in quite awhile.) I sure miss my family...Didn't expect to cry but the tears sure came pouring out. (On their own.)...Maybe Easter is starting to "get" to me. It's right around the corner. I sure miss the fun and heartwarming holidays I used to have with my husband and sons and my parents and everybody!...Wish I could bring my loved ones "back." But I can't...I'll try to make this Easter the "best" I can for me and my son's cat Gracie. We're the only ones "left" and we need to pull together to make holidays (and everyday) "worth living.".. Need to keep on "going" and have a little fun everyday. So we don't get "burnt-out!" Or totally overwhelmed with sadness. (And nothing else!)
    permalink
    Posted 04-14-2014 at 10:07 PM by CArizona CArizona is offline
  15. Old Comment
    I still feel a little "weepy" and "down" this morning. Oh well!...I have to get out for awhile. (Pick-up a few things at the store.)...Life "goes on" despite my grief and sadness...Maybe I'll "perk-up" a bit just by getting out. Who knows?...I don't like to be a "downer" when I'm out in public. It's nobody's "fault" that my family members died...Anyway, time to get "moving." Need to get out early before the afternoon heat sets-in.
    permalink
    Posted 04-15-2014 at 09:49 AM by CArizona CArizona is offline
  16. Old Comment
    Every now and then, I go to a grief support group. Nobody is pressured to attend weekly meetings. (Which is nice.)...I'm sort of a "drop-in." And I'm going to "drop-in" tomorrow...It helps to be around other people who are still dealing with their grief...I'm doing better now but I could use a "boost." (To get "through" Easter.)
    permalink
    Posted 04-15-2014 at 10:07 PM by CArizona CArizona is offline
  17. Old Comment
    Going to the grief support group "helped." I was the only one who showed-up yesterday. So, the counselor and I had a chance to talk "one-on-one" for 2 hours...By the end of the session, we started talking about "everything under the sun." (As friends.)...The counselor said that she'll be alone on Easter (too) since her kids and grandkids live in other states and she's divorced...We had fun "munching" on the Easter candy she brought for the group. (She always brings "treats!")...I like the counselor! She's caring and compassionate. And she has a "cute" and "playful" side too...This is what I've been "missing." My family was "playful" too. And fun!...Nice to have a little "balance." I'm glad I decided to go yesterday. It gave me a "boost!" And I feel better today. YEA!
    permalink
    Posted 04-17-2014 at 09:50 AM by CArizona CArizona is offline
  18. Old Comment
    I have a new "perspective." Right now, I'm focusing on filling-up baskets of candy for my friends. (To "spoil" everyone! And play "Easter bunny!")...I have to confess that I can be a little "fussy" (or "picky") when it comes to candy. (Especially chocolate candy!)...I have to remember that we're all "different!" What seems "off" or "blah" to me might "tickle" someone else's "fancy" and be their absolute "favorite!"...I'm going to try to keep each of my friends "in mind" when I go shopping for candy! It's not "about me!" It's about making my friends happy and trying to "customize" each basket!!
    permalink
    Posted 04-17-2014 at 11:45 AM by CArizona CArizona is offline
  19. Old Comment
    My Aunt used to brag and brag about her Easter baskets. She was definitely after "praise" and "glory!" (All the time! For everything she "did!")...My Aunt filled her baskets with the "cheapest" candy she could find. And "stale cookies!" ("Hard as a rock" cookies!)...I'm sure a lot of her cookies were "leftovers" from Christmas or ??...Nobody had the "heart" to tell my Aunt that her baskets "sucked!" We didn't want to hurt her feelings or "burst" her "bubble!"...Unfortunately, my Aunt didn't always "consider" our feelings. She could be blunt and "brutal" and insensitive at times. (A "bully!" Bossy! "Bratty!" The "primadonna" of the family!)...To be "fair," my Aunt had a few "good sides" and "redeeming qualities" too! She wasn't "all bad!" Or obnoxious 24/7...May she "rest in peace!" I hope she's up in heaven with the rest of our family!
    permalink
    Posted 04-17-2014 at 04:09 PM by CArizona CArizona is offline
  20. Old Comment
    I went out for lunch with my friend Willie yesterday. We made it "our Easter."...Willie tends to "stick" with the same restaurants. (His "tried and true favorites.") I guess we all do this. (Me too!)...But, I used to drive to neighboring towns to try new "places" when my family was alive. So I have a "bigger territory." (When it comes to my list of "favorites.")...I told Willie about a Chinese restaurant in the town south of us that serves great food. And he was "rarin' to go!"..Thankfully, the food was just as good as ever and Willie was happy! He's ready to go back soon. (Me too!)
    permalink
    Posted 04-19-2014 at 08:25 AM by CArizona CArizona is offline
 

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 05:58 AM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top