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Old 01-20-2014, 06:05 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
14,017 posts, read 20,858,720 times
Reputation: 32530

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I have a lot of trouble refraining from defending myself when attacked. All my instincts click in on the side of self-defense. Since I am somewhat skilled in oral and written argument-making (not trained as a lawyer but people have said I should have been), it seems to be a cop-out to defer the solution to others when my self-respect demands I stand up for myself. It goes against a life-long inclination simply to remain silent in the face of personal attacks, and the more irrational and counter-factual they are the more it seems perverse to remain silent.

Now I do understand why the City-Data guidelines are what they are. If we respond to attacks the moderators have just that much more work to do, i.e., more posts to remove as they clean things up. In addition, trolls frequently love to just continue to bicker even when they are not making any logical sense, or perhaps especially when they are not making any logical sense.

So I know what I OUGHT to do, and I know WHY I ought to do it, but still it goes against the grain.

Anyone have this same problem? Anyone have suggestions which might make it easier for me to override my instincts and do the "right" thing? Moderators especially, you may have thoughts which will help me in this regard.
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Old 01-20-2014, 06:21 PM
 
106,098 posts, read 108,073,381 times
Reputation: 79664
i know just what you mean. you get those that go gunning for you and you get lured right in to their level.

it reminds me of when we were kids and we weren't supposed to fight back but we were just supposed to tell on them.

that never worked and so you just slugged them.
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Old 01-20-2014, 06:23 PM
 
Location: San Diego
50,129 posts, read 46,744,623 times
Reputation: 33963
The best thing to do is put down the keyboard and take a break.
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Old 01-20-2014, 06:55 PM
 
28,455 posts, read 85,102,750 times
Reputation: 18726
The challenge is that some of the worst offenders seem to time their most offensive posts when moderators are least likely to be available to stop the nonsense, not to mention the biases that some seem to have...
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Old 01-20-2014, 07:10 PM
 
Location: Charleston, SC metro
3,517 posts, read 5,300,595 times
Reputation: 1403
There is no better revenge than living well.
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Old 01-20-2014, 07:11 PM
 
Location: The Great State of Arkansas
5,981 posts, read 18,231,155 times
Reputation: 7734
Quote:
Originally Posted by Escort Rider View Post

So I know what I OUGHT to do, and I know WHY I ought to do it.
Seems to me you have asked and answered your own question. Now JUST DO IT. (Sorry, Nike.)

Report it. The mods are here for a reason - which is to handle personal attacks, trolling, etc., etc., ad nauseum.

Case closed.
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Old 01-20-2014, 07:11 PM
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Location: Ohio
17,107 posts, read 38,014,902 times
Reputation: 14446
It may be easier to just not respond to the personal part. Address the argument.

If the reply is "You're an idiot, penguins do live in the northern hemisphere," you have options.
  1. Discuss the penguins and ignore the insult.
  2. Reply that you refuse to discuss the issue anymore, and state that you're doing that because of the insult.
  3. Put the poster who made the insult on ignore, to make it easier to avoid ever discussing anything with him/her again.

No matter which option you pick, you should feel some obligation to report the post and let a moderator put a stop to the insults.
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Old 01-20-2014, 07:12 PM
 
Location: The Great State of Arkansas
5,981 posts, read 18,231,155 times
Reputation: 7734
Quote:
Originally Posted by chet everett View Post
The challenge is that some of the worst offenders seem to time their most offensive posts when moderators are least likely to be available to stop the nonsense, not to mention the biases that some seem to have...
Chet, I can only assume you mean the biases some posters have? Surely you don't mean the moderators...since that would mean you are discussing moderation in very general terms, which is against the Terms of Service. So surely not.....
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Old 01-20-2014, 07:56 PM
 
Location: My House
34,937 posts, read 36,132,365 times
Reputation: 26547
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bo View Post
It may be easier to just not respond to the personal part. Address the argument.

If the reply is "You're an idiot, penguins do live in the northern hemisphere," you have options.
  1. Discuss the penguins and ignore the insult.
  2. Reply that you refuse to discuss the issue anymore, and state that you're doing that because of the insult.
  3. Put the poster who made the insult on ignore, to make it easier to avoid ever discussing anything with him/her again.

No matter which option you pick, you should feel some obligation to report the post and let a moderator put a stop to the insults.
Agreed.

OP? If you are as gifted in oral discourse as you claim, you should be able to respond to your detractors without violating the TOS.

And, you can report those who do violate the TOS.
__________________
When in doubt, check it out: FAQ
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Old 01-20-2014, 08:38 PM
 
28,455 posts, read 85,102,750 times
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Default Of course!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sam I Am View Post
Chet, I can only assume you mean the biases some posters have? Surely you don't mean the moderators...since that would mean you are discussing moderation in very general terms, which is against the Terms of Service. So surely not.....
Completely agree.
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