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Old 05-19-2011, 03:25 PM
 
1,302 posts, read 1,511,366 times
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My Mother always said that one of the greatest compliments I ever gave her was when I said I always knew I was adopted. I was never "told" I just "knew", there was never an event scheduled for me finding out. Had I found out later in life, it would have traumatized me. Always knowing made sure that it was no big thing to me at all. I was still their child, I just came from another place.

Also, I knew I was extra special because my Mommy loved me more than your Mommy loved you because I was picked. Of course, in my mind I always pictured a conveyor belt of babies going by and my parents yelling "That one, we want that one!" lol
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Old 05-19-2011, 03:38 PM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,392 posts, read 40,841,697 times
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that's funny. Actually we have an airport video of our first adopted daughter coming home from Korea. There were 6 babies on that flight all accompanied by Eastern Airlines personnel. As each baby came off the plane, somebodywould hold the baby up and would holler out the adoptive family's name. I can be heard on the video saying "There she is, that one is ours." There are all sorts of scenes of each family greeting their child.

Later my daughter told me she always thought we picked her out of all those babies right there at the airport and that made her feel so special. That incredible moment was about 11:30 on New Years Eve. We play it every year for our NYE celebration and I cry like a baby every time. That was 27 years ago yet it seems like yesterday. I'm crying right now as I type this.

Adoption is so magical. It really is.
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Old 05-19-2011, 08:43 PM
 
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I think that is terrible for that poor child. It seems incredible that these parents didn't consider when and how to tell their daughter about her adoption, or that they maybe actually DECIDED not to tell her until some later date. With so many interracial and international adoptions, parents are usually sensitive to the issue, taking care to tell their children about where they came from and teach them about their culture. Are these people really that clueless? Just because they want to tiptoe around their daughter's adoption doesn't mean everybody will. You would think they would want to be the ones who tell her in a loving way, rather than have somebody say something cruel or something that will break her heart. Poor kid.
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Old 05-19-2011, 09:01 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 87,762,544 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LeavingMassachusetts View Post
Also, I knew I was extra special because my Mommy loved me more than your Mommy loved you because I was picked. Of course, in my mind I always pictured a conveyor belt of babies going by and my parents yelling "That one, we want that one!" lol
Quote:
Originally Posted by no kudzu View Post
that's funny. Actually we have an airport video of our first adopted daughter coming home from Korea. There were 6 babies on that flight all accompanied by Eastern Airlines personnel. As each baby came off the plane, somebodywould hold the baby up and would holler out the adoptive family's name. I can be heard on the video saying "There she is, that one is ours." There are all sorts of scenes of each family greeting their child.

Later my daughter told me she always thought we picked her out of all those babies right there at the airport and that made her feel so special. That incredible moment was about 11:30 on New Years Eve. We play it every year for our NYE celebration and I cry like a baby every time. That was 27 years ago yet it seems like yesterday. I'm crying right now as I type this.

Adoption is so magical. It really is.
Those stories are so sweet! And I believe that's the way an adopted child should feel. I'm sorry your neighbor doesn't understand, no kudzu.
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Old 05-20-2011, 03:13 AM
 
Location: Midwest
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LeavingMassachusetts View Post
Also, I knew I was extra special because my Mommy loved me more than your Mommy loved you because I was picked. Of course, in my mind I always pictured a conveyor belt of babies going by and my parents yelling "That one, we want that one!" lol
I love this!! Tried to rep you but I need to spread the love
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Old 05-20-2011, 06:08 AM
 
Location: BK All Day
4,480 posts, read 8,215,345 times
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I have a friend adopted from Columbia. She loves to show me pictures of her adoption. She has one of her getting her citizenship. She also has "adoption day" parties in addition to birthdays.

I couldn't imagine her not knowing she was adopted considering she's black and her parents are white!
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Old 05-20-2011, 08:33 PM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
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While I agree with all the above pro-adoption posts, I have to wonder why the OP thinks it's her business to get involved with her neighbor in the adoption issue.
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Old 05-20-2011, 09:18 PM
 
Location: Catonsville, MD
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For my two daughters' first 5 or 6 years, they thought everybody came from Russia like they did. It was such a normal thing within our circle of friends (friends we met through the process of adoption,) they just assumed all kids came from there. Of course, as time went on and they made more friends outside our adoption circle, they came to realize that some kids grew in their mom's tummy instead of growing in my heart like they did. As they have asked questions, we have answered them to the point that it was appropriate for their ages, and we have shied away from none of their questions. They have the right to know their own personal history. It is a horrible thing to keep this information from any child, and that withholding is bound to cause problems for the child at some point in their lives, especially since they look different than their parents.

This whole topic and looking different from one's parents made me think of an incident that happened a few days after we arrived home with our first daughter (who was 8 months old.) She has dark brown eyes and I have light blue eyes. Somebody in walmart looked at her eyes and then looked at my eyes. She said, "Wow, her daddy must have very dark brown eyes." Not being used to questions like this, I answered: "I have no idea what color eyes her father has." :-)
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Old 05-21-2011, 05:20 AM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,392 posts, read 40,841,697 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cmacf1 View Post
She said, "Wow, her daddy must have very dark brown eyes." Not being used to questions like this, I answered: "I have no idea what color eyes her father has." :-)
I've got a funny story about that too. Once somebody came up to me and my Korean child and said "She's so cute, she must look like her father" I quickly returned with "I don't know. I never got a look at his face."
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Old 05-21-2011, 05:36 AM
 
1,302 posts, read 1,511,366 times
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Ha! I love those retorts, ladies!!!

My Mom was 5'2" and round as anything my whole life, dark hair and dark eyes. I am 5'9", thin and have blonde hair and blue eyes. People would remark all the time to my Mom that I looked like her and we would just laugh. Oh yeah, spitting image.
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