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Old 05-21-2011, 08:53 AM
 
26,860 posts, read 19,850,425 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by no kudzu View Post
that's funny. Actually we have an airport video of our first adopted daughter coming home from Korea. There were 6 babies on that flight all accompanied by Eastern Airlines personnel. As each baby came off the plane, somebodywould hold the baby up and would holler out the adoptive family's name. I can be heard on the video saying "There she is, that one is ours." There are all sorts of scenes of each family greeting their child.

Later my daughter told me she always thought we picked her out of all those babies right there at the airport and that made her feel so special. That incredible moment was about 11:30 on New Years Eve. We play it every year for our NYE celebration and I cry like a baby every time. That was 27 years ago yet it seems like yesterday. I'm crying right now as I type this.

Adoption is so magical. It really is.
This is a great story. Thank you for sharing it.

My sister never hid the fact from my niece that she was adopted.

My sister is white and her husband is black. They adopted an interracial infant who is now 23. The funny part is that we are a very tall family, and my adopted niece grew to be six feet tall, just as my mother and I are (my sister is a little shorter, at 5'10). My sister COULDA lied and gotten away with it, lol! But, that's not something she would ever do. And my niece is just as much a part of the extended family as any of the other kids of her generation.

Your neighbor seems to have some odd, unresolved issues about adopting a child.
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Old 05-22-2011, 07:37 AM
 
538 posts, read 697,939 times
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mind your own bussiness..you have 3 children,enough else to do,then worry about the neighborhs!!they decide for themselve,not your problem!!
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Old 05-22-2011, 08:51 AM
 
14,258 posts, read 8,233,641 times
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It saddens me that two people do not understand that no kudzu said she was NOT getting involved in the neighbor's adoption issues. She is simply ventinghere on a message board because she is so bothered by the decision her neighbors have made. This is going to have a profoundly negative impact on the girl. Who wouldn't be bothered by that?

I have a former friend who is allowing her older child to believe the man mom is with his her father. He isn't. She will find out and it's not going to be a good scene.
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Old 05-22-2011, 08:52 AM
 
1,302 posts, read 888,421 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Buburuza13 View Post
mind your own bussiness..you have 3 children,enough else to do,then worry about the neighborhs!!they decide for themselve,not your problem!!
Oh Sweet Jesus, she is just venting. There are people on earth who care about the feelings of other children other than their own. Her friend is being a complete moron but she hasn't told her so.
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Old 05-22-2011, 11:24 AM
 
Location: Catonsville, MD
2,367 posts, read 3,812,815 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by no kudzu View Post

Baby X is now starting kindergarten in the fall. In a phone conversation recently I asked "How is the adoption talk going?" She told me "We decided there just hasn't been a good time to tell her, what with her changing baby sitters last year, her grandmother being sick bla bla bla."


Now. I will not do a thing. I will not say another word about it. I realize this is none of my business.
In an innocent conversation between one adoptive mom and another (very similar to many I have had in the past 8 years with my fellow adoptive moms,) kudzu asked how the adoption talk is going with the friend's adopted child. In the course of the conversation, kudzu said one thing about how not telling the daughter she's adopted could cause issues. Conversation over. Done. It was one friend expressing a concern to another, NOT meddling. Kudzu was venting to us on this forum, NOT saying she's going to go back and get into this friend's business and tell her what to do. She specifically stated in her first post "I will not say another word about it." She did exactly the right thing.
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Old 05-22-2011, 12:19 PM
 
18,870 posts, read 14,359,509 times
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Regardless of how you feel about this issue, it is MYOB time. Sad, but this is their family, and how they deal with this issue is up to them.

I always sort of hated my adopted cousin, she always had a big mouth, and ran around saying how wonderful she was because "of all the babies in the world, her mama and daddy picked her, and my mama was just stuck with me" . Yes, it is great to give adopted kids self esteem, but not to make them feel so wonderfully special above bio kids.
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Old 05-22-2011, 12:49 PM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
24,553 posts, read 15,621,735 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Buburuza13 View Post
mind your own bussiness..you have 3 children,enough else to do,then worry about the neighborhs!!they decide for themselve,not your problem!!

Actually I have FOUR children. SEVEN if you count my step children and I certainly do.

Please re read my original post. I never planned on making it my business.

Many thanks to those who noticed I was venting only and not planning on making it my life's mission to straighten out my neighbor.
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Old 05-22-2011, 02:37 PM
 
Location: southwest TN
6,569 posts, read 6,817,667 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Katiana View Post
While I agree with all the above pro-adoption posts, I have to wonder why the OP thinks it's her business to get involved with her neighbor in the adoption issue.
Where did she say it was her business? Besides, it IS her business. It is hers and yours and mine. We are all caretakers of the world's children. They are only on loan to their parents, bio or adopted. But she expressed her concerns TO THE NEIGHBOR and is biting her tongue with CONCERN not meddling.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Buburuza13 View Post
mind your own bussiness..you have 3 children,enough else to do,then worry about the neighborhs!!they decide for themselve,not your problem!!
She said she has 3 adopted and one bio. Sometimes reading too quickly leads to misinformation. She is very clear in what she said which is that she was minding her own business.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LeavingMassachusetts View Post
Oh Sweet Jesus, she is just venting. There are people on earth who care about the feelings of other children other than their own. Her friend is being a complete moron but she hasn't told her so.
This!
Quote:
Originally Posted by jasper12 View Post
Regardless of how you feel about this issue, it is MYOB time. Sad, but this is their family, and how they deal with this issue is up to them.
READ the OP and the above poster, LeavingMassachusetts a little bit more carefully.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jasper12 View Post
I always sort of hated my adopted cousin, she always had a big mouth, and ran around saying how wonderful she was because "of all the babies in the world, her mama and daddy picked her, and my mama was just stuck with me" . Yes, it is great to give adopted kids self esteem, but not to make them feel so wonderfully special above bio kids.
So for that reason you are unnecessarily jumping all over the OP.
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Old 05-22-2011, 02:51 PM
 
18,870 posts, read 14,359,509 times
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I resent the personal attack. I am "jumping" on anyone. Just stated that she could vent, but it is not her family or child. People have a right to tell their children what they want. It is a value decision, regardless of how the OP feels.

I stated my personal experience as a child who spent time with an adopted child, maybe the OP needs to be mindful of telling her adopted kids that while they were "chosen" that is not better or worse than children whose Mothers have then naturally. That was a very painful personal experience I had as a child, that I shared. Don't negate that in your post.
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Old 05-22-2011, 04:10 PM
 
1,302 posts, read 888,421 times
Reputation: 1887
Quote:
Originally Posted by jasper12 View Post
I resent the personal attack. I am "jumping" on anyone. Just stated that she could vent, but it is not her family or child. People have a right to tell their children what they want. It is a value decision, regardless of how the OP feels.

I stated my personal experience as a child who spent time with an adopted child, maybe the OP needs to be mindful of telling her adopted kids that while they were "chosen" that is not better or worse than children whose Mothers have then naturally. That was a very painful personal experience I had as a child, that I shared. Don't negate that in your post.
Really? Was it more painful than the kids who told you your real parents didn't want you? How about the adults who give that look of pity? How about the looks and questions you get your whole life from every ignoramus in the world?

The fact that you even refer to her as your "adopted cousin" not just just your "cousin" speaks volumes.
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