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I think I would probably try IVF first, then if nothing came of it after a couple of cycles we would adopt.
We had to go the IUI route to have our daughter. When she was 2years we tried again and I had 4 miscarriages and I could not handle the emotional rollercoaster anymore. We did discuss adoption, but decided that we were blessed to have our daughter and would be greatfull for what God chose to give us. Plus I was 37 when daughter was born and hubby and I weren't sure about having another at 39 and 41.
Yes i love my son but I also love my daughters. the phrase "OWN children" really pisses me off. All my kids are my OWN.
I used this expression so I'll give a little further explaining...
Of course, adopted children become your own, no doubts about that. I know people who have adopted and they have beautiful, loving families.
What most people usually mean by "my own" is biological. Hubby and I wanted to try to have a bio kid before turning to adoption. That's all.
I never meant to offend anyone...
oh gosh no! I have never even asked my friends with twins. They all volunteered the info. I like your answers!
I didn't think you were-- it's not your style! But you'd be amazed the questions a twin stroller used to elicit a dozen or more years ago. Now that they're not such a big deal anymore, I suspect you'd have to have triplets or quads to get the same goofy questions.
What most people usually mean by "my own" is biological. Hubby and I wanted to try to have a bio kid before turning to adoption. That's all.
I never meant to offend anyone...
I hate when people tell me I'm rude or selfish for having wanted "my own" as in biologicial. I find many of these people have biological children and since they didn't have to deal with fertility issues they don't understand how people like myself feel, wanting to try everything possible first to have "my own" child.
I didn't think you were-- it's not your style! But you'd be amazed the questions a twin stroller used to elicit a dozen or more years ago. Now that they're not such a big deal anymore, I suspect you'd have to have triplets or quads to get the same goofy questions.
Nope, still get them:
- Are they identical? (I have a boy and a girl...)
- Is that because you had sex twice that night (none of your beeswax!)
- Why did you make twins??? (I tend to answer that we waited so long for children, God decided to give us two at the same time)
- Horrible stories of NICU babies when I was pregnant (I carried my twins to 39 weeks)
- Which one is the nice one?
- Did you consider selective reduction (no!)
- Are they normal? (err... yes? They mean were they conceived naturally, to which- no. Happy to admit they are IUI babies)
and so on...
I voted adoption. I am perhaps a bit biased because I was adopted. How I see it is that there are so many kids out there who really need a warm, loving environment.
I'm not sure what you mean by "stigma". Are people still really thinking like they did about adoption back in the 60s and 70s? That would be very sad if true.
I used to think adoption. But after reading about it I understood more why fertility treatments are so popular. Adoption seems like just about as draining and difficult a process emotionally and is time consuming, invasive, uncertain and brutally expensive. I have no philosophical problems with adoption and we might end up that route eventually, but after hearing some people have waited 5 years I think we'll exhaust all our other options first.
I was under the impression that there were a lot of unwanted children that needed good homes, but the process seems to operate under a different assumption.
I used to think adoption. But after reading about it I understood more why fertility treatments are so popular. Adoption seems like just about as draining and difficult a process emotionally and is time consuming, invasive, uncertain and brutally expensive. I have no philosophical problems with adoption and we might end up that route eventually, but after hearing some people have waited 5 years I think we'll exhaust all our other options first.
I was under the impression that there were a lot of unwanted children that needed good homes, but the process seems to operate under a different assumption.
I know someone that has been the IVF/IUI route and has had MANY heartbreaks. She finally had a baby, and has been have trouble again for several months to conceive her second.
However, as I also stated I have friends who adopted. They've been on a list for something like 7 years (give or take, I forget right now). They finally JUST completed the adoption last month. They had been promised children twice only to have the system/country decide to give the kids to someone else. It took how many more years for this adoption to close.
So000000000 - heartbreak/time consuming in both IVF AND adoption.
Nope, still get them:
- Are they identical? (I have a boy and a girl...)
- Is that because you had sex twice that night (none of your beeswax!)
- Why did you make twins??? (I tend to answer that we waited so long for children, God decided to give us two at the same time)
- Horrible stories of NICU babies when I was pregnant (I carried my twins to 39 weeks)
- Which one is the nice one?
- Did you consider selective reduction (no!)
- Are they normal? (err... yes? They mean were they conceived naturally, to which- no. Happy to admit they are IUI babies)
and so on...
please tell me you're kidding! people are idiots.
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people are idiots.
