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View Poll Results: IVF or Adoption?
IVF 19 46.34%
Adoption 22 53.66%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 41. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 07-26-2011, 10:04 PM
 
1,851 posts, read 2,987,837 times
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If you had a choice between IVF or Adoption, what would you choose?

Do you think there is a stigma attached to adoption?
Are you or do you know of a woman who got pregnant via IVF?
Do you or does this woman lie about how the child was conceived to hide the issue of infertility?

I have this option and I know which one I'm heavily leaning towards...I'll reveal after some comments and poll count is at a decent percent.

I'm curious what others would do/think.

Thanks!
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Old 07-27-2011, 04:29 AM
 
Location: Connecticut
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As far as *I'm* concerned (can't speak for others) I don't attach a stigma with adoption. I am in the same boat in that my only options are IVF or adoption. Sadly, it will be neither, but I would've chosen IVF over adoption. My only reason being that I'd always wanted to experience the actual pregnancy.

I don't know who has had IVF, but I know someone who is considering it.
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Old 07-27-2011, 05:02 AM
 
Location: Rogers, Arkansas
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I don't think there is a stigma with either option.

We did IUI to get our twins- were about to move on to IVF when the third round worked. I don't hide it- if people ask whether twins run in the family I tell them no, we needed fertility treatment to get pregnant, and most people automatically assume IVF. We have a pic of the eggs two days before IUI in the twin's baby books. We chose this option because I really wanted to be pregnant, and we wanted to at least try to have a biological child, though we would have chosen adoption over surrogacy, I think.
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Old 07-27-2011, 07:49 AM
 
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My husband and I are in discussions about when to begin trying to conceive, and we've decided that if we can't conceive naturally, we will adopt. The odds of spending tens of thousands of dollars and coming out of it with nothing are too great and not acceptable to us when so many kids need homes. Just our opinion.
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Old 07-27-2011, 09:08 AM
 
Location: Chicago's burbs
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I was able to concieve my kids naturally, if not I would have chosen IVF. I really wanted the experience of pregnancy and having a biological child. Nothing against adoption, I think its a wonderful option, it just wouldn't have been my first choice. My SIL had her children through IVF and she is very open about it. She is a wonderful mother and I'm glad IVF made it possible for her to experience her dream of pregnancy and motherhood.
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Old 07-27-2011, 10:08 AM
 
Location: Arizona
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Quote:
Originally Posted by peppermint View Post
My husband and I are in discussions about when to begin trying to conceive, and we've decided that if we can't conceive naturally, we will adopt. The odds of spending tens of thousands of dollars and coming out of it with nothing are too great and not acceptable to us when so many kids need homes. Just our opinion.
I have friends who adopted two babies about two years apart and they are in debt for life because of the money they spent to adopt their children. Both were local adoptions and one child is caucasian and the other is black. Beautiful, happy kids. But they had to mortgage their home to get them. My point it, adoption has it's expenses too.

I would choose IVF. I have a son and he will likely be my only child. To look at him and see myself and my husband is absolutely fascinating to me. I love knowing that my genes will carry on with him. But honestly, if I could afford it, I'd choose surrogacy first. My situation is such that I have a hard time carrying a pregnancy to term. I'd love to have another baby some day, but am petrified to get pregnant again.
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Old 07-27-2011, 11:27 AM
 
Location: Connecticut
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redjan1225 View Post
I have friends who adopted two babies about two years apart and they are in debt for life because of the money they spent to adopt their children. Both were local adoptions and one child is caucasian and the other is black. Beautiful, happy kids. But they had to mortgage their home to get them. My point it, adoption has it's expenses too.
My mother's friend's daughter/son-in-law adopted. Not only had they been on a waiting list for 7 years, but they lost out on 2 chances previously because it was decided (whoever "it" is - courts, adoption agency, etc.) to give the children to someone more local.

Not only have they spent thousands of dollars on travel and related expenses when they first started, but they also have basically a second mortgage on their home to pay for everything.

Again, I have nothing against adoption. I just think either decision is a big expense and again I would choose IVF for the reason that I'd always wanted to experience the pregnancy.
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Old 07-27-2011, 12:53 PM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
1,820 posts, read 4,001,781 times
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We experienced infertility and had to make that decision... a difficult one to make, yes.
We chose adoption (2x now) because of issues that another post brought up. With IVF, there is still no gtd. that after spending thousands of dollars, that a child will be conceived. We had witnessed this happen to 2 different couples close to us, and it wasn't an option emotionally for me after having gone through the minor treatments we had already done. I knew that there was no way we could sacrifice that money without there being a baby in the end. That would have been devestating to both of us, we would not have been able to pursue an adoption after IVF treatments if we had chosen that option.
It is a difficult and very personal decision and you cannot let others sway you from one to the other, "we" can only offer our opinions and/or our experiences.

I found in the end, I didn't really care about experiencing pregnancy and we are proud parents to 2 beautiful girls who were adopted from China. I am not sure about the stigma attatched to both IVF or adoption, I do know that I get all kind of ignorant questions like "oh, you couldn't have children of your OWN?" with that sigh at the end... but, they are few & far between these days & it shouldn't be a factor in the decision process. You will create your family in the best way that you & your family can, whatever you are comfortable with and it is honestly, no one else's business why you chose the option that you did.
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Old 07-27-2011, 01:01 PM
 
Location: Pa
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I think I would adopt. If I couldn't conceive. It's sad that so many children are in need of a good home and family. Though it is different when you have your own.
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Old 07-27-2011, 01:25 PM
 
2,319 posts, read 4,096,230 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redjan1225 View Post
I have friends who adopted two babies about two years apart and they are in debt for life because of the money they spent to adopt their children. Both were local adoptions and one child is caucasian and the other is black. Beautiful, happy kids. But they had to mortgage their home to get them. My point it, adoption has it's expenses too.

I would choose IVF. I have a son and he will likely be my only child. To look at him and see myself and my husband is absolutely fascinating to me. I love knowing that my genes will carry on with him. But honestly, if I could afford it, I'd choose surrogacy first. My situation is such that I have a hard time carrying a pregnancy to term. I'd love to have another baby some day, but am petrified to get pregnant again.
I wouldn't risk my financial future in either case.

My point was that in the end adoption yields a child. At the end of IVF, not everyone has a baby. I know of people who mortgaged their home for a baby via IVF and walked away with nothing. At least your friends have two wonderful children at the end of the day.
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