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Old 02-03-2012, 07:47 PM
 
1,330 posts, read 780,155 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucidkitty View Post
Sadly given the state of things i think this woman will not see her child again until he is an adult.
Actually, we will have to make a forum bet. I bet the case will be resolved in her favor since the courts did not do their job and she is portrayed as a symphatic victim. She seems like a nice lady and seems screwed by the system and judges being idiots and not deporting her. I'm sure that any jury would rule in her favor. And woe to the adoptive father----he had a drug problem and was in trouble and must be a bad parent to this child. You know how people pick up anything from the past and can't let go, even if he turned his life around. Just playin' the devil's adocate but I don't think this case will go well for the adoptive parents.

I know this is a controversial topic but this is one of the reasons why we did an international adoption. Sure, international adoptions can have horrible outcomes but the US adoptions scared us more. If I was in that family's shoes, I would be in a state of depression. It would rip my heart out to lose my kids---adopted or not.
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Old 02-03-2012, 07:54 PM
 
47,585 posts, read 35,983,019 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Linmora View Post
They should have deported the mother and the child immediately and this issue wouldn't have occured. I think that the courts really messed up this one and unfortunately, I would not predict a good outcome for the adoptive parents. The sympathy vote always seems to go to the biological mom/dad. After listening to the video, it seemed slanted to the biological mother. It is messed up that this kid wasn't placed with a relative either. Now it will be a lengthy court battle with everyone suffering.
It may have been her choice to have a long drawn out deportation fight -- most likely she could have opted for "voluntary departure" but chose instead to have her young child placed in foster homes.

It also looks like she's about to pop out another baby even though facing some hard life in her own country and it doesn't seem she cares to have a father in the picture for the child.

If she wins, she's only doing it to destroy the child's life. Give him a life with an unwed single mother with many other children in a country where single women with many children don't have it made in the shade. Very selfish of her to now remove him from a stable home with the only parentS he knows, a home where he has both a father and a mother.
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Old 02-04-2012, 07:01 AM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,022 posts, read 14,521,744 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by malamute View Post
It may have been her choice to have a long drawn out deportation fight -- most likely she could have opted for "voluntary departure" but chose instead to have her young child placed in foster homes.

It also looks like she's about to pop out another baby even though facing some hard life in her own country and it doesn't seem she cares to have a father in the picture for the child.

If she wins, she's only doing it to destroy the child's life. Give him a life with an unwed single mother with many other children in a country where single women with many children don't have it made in the shade. Very selfish of her to now remove him from a stable home with the only parentS he knows, a home where he has both a father and a mother.
Exactement.
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Old 02-04-2012, 09:15 AM
 
1,330 posts, read 780,155 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by malamute View Post
It may have been her choice to have a long drawn out deportation fight -- most likely she could have opted for "voluntary departure" but chose instead to have her young child placed in foster homes.

It also looks like she's about to pop out another baby even though facing some hard life in her own country and it doesn't seem she cares to have a father in the picture for the child.

If she wins, she's only doing it to destroy the child's life. Give him a life with an unwed single mother with many other children in a country where single women with many children don't have it made in the shade. Very selfish of her to now remove him from a stable home with the only parentS he knows, a home where he has both a father and a mother.
Well, I agree with you here but as you see from some responses on this board and just how the media will portray things, the sympathy vote will always go to this "poor" woman who has had her child stripped away from her by the courts. Doesn't really matter how happy and thriving the child may be now in his home with his adoptive parents---this poor single (and now pregnant) lady is pining away for her child.

Now if she truly did opt for a long deportation fight in courts and made the conscious choice to place this child in foster homes until she could get out of jail, screw her. My sympathy lies completely with the adoptive parents who will provide this child a "better" life. As I said before though, I'm sure the courts will rule in her favor and this child will be taken away from his parents and off he goes to live with his "real" mother.
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Old 04-23-2012, 11:57 PM
 
11,104 posts, read 9,787,090 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Linmora View Post
They should have deported the mother and the child immediately and this issue wouldn't have occured. I think that the courts really messed up this one and unfortunately, I would not predict a good outcome for the adoptive parents. The sympathy vote always seems to go to the biological mom/dad. After listening to the video, it seemed slanted to the biological mother. It is messed up that this kid wasn't placed with a relative either. Now it will be a lengthy court battle with everyone suffering.



Interesting you say this. We adopted internationally and almost adopted two adorable little twin boys who had been abandoned by their birth mother when they were months old. She already had 6 kids of her own and was living in squalor and neglect. When she heard that there was a possibility of them being adopted, she found out that if she took them back, she could get a larger apartment and handouts from the government. Now this is a mom that had not visited her sons for 3+ years or so. Just the fact that she asked put the whole adoption of these kids in jeopardy. The referral was quickly shelved and we were shown other kids when we arrived in country. When we eventually adopted our kiddos, I saw these two little boys still in the orphanage and it sickened me. Life with the birth parent isn't always the best thing for kids in some situations. I have very little sympathy when there is neglect or a parent is in jail. Some kids, especially in international situations, languish for years and never do get adopted.

Lacking sympathy here too, for parents who can't get their act together and play the biology card when they feel like getting their child back.

We hosted a little boy twice from Ukraine. He was waiting to be placed on the data base to be adopted, which was why it was taking so long. We visited him while we made a humanitarian and pleasure trip to Ukraine - he did not know his "mother" and he wanted us to take him home that day and to see our other children. My heart broke as we left him yet again. We were careful not to promise anything because we knew that something could go wrong. (Although the facilitator assured us that the judge had become tired of the "mother" and her excuses and stalling for time.

He was transferred to an orphanage for children over seven and finally put on the data base. We had begun our paper work for adoption when we were told that his "mother" had petitioned the court to get him back!

By this time he was nine. By law, her case had to be heard. She one custody.

It was convenient for this woman to use the government of her country as a 9 year baby sitter and to show up to reclaim him at her convenience.

I think of him all the time and I pray for his happiness. I am frightened because at nine he is old enough to obtain certain jobs, and to beg, clean her house and steal, if she wants him too. She can also leave him alone and go out at night.

I sincerely hope that this is not the case. We were the first family he ever knew.
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Old 06-05-2012, 12:38 AM
 
11,104 posts, read 9,787,090 times
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My sympathy card goes to where the CHILD is happy.
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Old 06-09-2012, 12:56 PM
 
Location: Chicago area
1,073 posts, read 1,102,034 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Linmora View Post
NJGoat, I edited my post a few times after watching the video so hopefully "better" life wasn't said in my more recent version. First skimmed through the article, I thought the mom had other criminal charges against her but in this case, it seemed like the judge took a hard line against a woman who wasn't offered any options. Her only crime seemed to be being in the country illegally.
Being in this country illegally isn't a crime. What the mother was convicted of and sentenced to prison for was aggravated identity theft, most likely using someone else's social security card so that she could get a job. However, according to the article, the Supreme Court has since decided that aggravated identity theft can not be used in cases like this.
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Old 06-09-2012, 01:01 PM
 
Location: Chicago area
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Originally Posted by Lucidkitty View Post
Probably not since it's doubtful they have told him anything. Since chances are this woman will not win his case this is something he need not know until her gets old enough to understand.
There was actually a case a few years ago where a 5-year old who had been adopted was returned to his biological mother so it's not impossible that she will get him back. As it is her parental rights have been restored and it appears to now be a custody issue. Biological parents' rights usually trump the rights of others unless they are clearly unsuitable parents.
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Old 06-09-2012, 01:10 PM
 
Location: Chicago area
1,073 posts, read 1,102,034 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by malamute View Post
It may have been her choice to have a long drawn out deportation fight -- most likely she could have opted for "voluntary departure" but chose instead to have her young child placed in foster homes.
It looks like nobody read this article. The mother couldn't have opted for a voluntary departure early on because she had to serve her two year sentence for the identity theft and had no choice but to have her child placed in foster care.

Unfortunately this is not only an issue for illegal immigrants. American mothers also have their parental right terminated and kids placed for adoption when they serve even fairly short sentences.
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Old 06-09-2012, 04:33 PM
 
2,259 posts, read 2,384,160 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lizita View Post
There was actually a case a few years ago where a 5-year old who had been adopted was returned to his biological mother so it's not impossible that she will get him back. As it is her parental rights have been restored and it appears to now be a custody issue. Biological parents' rights usually trump the rights of others unless they are clearly unsuitable parents.
In order for a biological parent to reclaim their child once an adoption is final there must be some claim of fraud. Usually it has to do with the biological father not knowing about the child and then making a claim. There has never been a perfectly legal adoption where the biological mother changed her mind and regained custody of her child. If the adoption is complete and legal it is not overturned.
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