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Old 02-03-2012, 10:31 AM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,012 posts, read 29,717,817 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucidkitty View Post
Yes i guess that means all poor parents should just put their children up for adoption then :roll eyes:.
Don't twist what I said now. I take a left turn in my highway ramp and there's a damn signal which keeps me waiting for about 30 seconds, and I have a nice view of the day labor pickup site. That's where this kid's going with that kind of momma. Good for the new homebuilder and the dunkin donuts 200 yards away. Quite the contribution to American society.

Or Carlos can forget about all this and actually study advanced something in some state college.

Which one is better, you tell me.
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Old 02-03-2012, 10:33 AM
 
1,515 posts, read 2,273,704 times
Reputation: 3138
They should have deported the mother and the child immediately and this issue wouldn't have occured. I think that the courts really messed up this one and unfortunately, I would not predict a good outcome for the adoptive parents. The sympathy vote always seems to go to the biological mom/dad. After listening to the video, it seemed slanted to the biological mother. It is messed up that this kid wasn't placed with a relative either. Now it will be a lengthy court battle with everyone suffering.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucidkitty View Post
Easy to say when it's not your child though isn't it?
Interesting you say this. We adopted internationally and almost adopted two adorable little twin boys who had been abandoned by their birth mother when they were months old. She already had 6 kids of her own and was living in squalor and neglect. When she heard that there was a possibility of them being adopted, she found out that if she took them back, she could get a larger apartment and handouts from the government. Now this is a mom that had not visited her sons for 3+ years or so. Just the fact that she asked put the whole adoption of these kids in jeopardy. The referral was quickly shelved and we were shown other kids when we arrived in country. When we eventually adopted our kiddos, I saw these two little boys still in the orphanage and it sickened me. Life with the birth parent isn't always the best thing for kids in some situations. I have very little sympathy when there is neglect or a parent is in jail. Some kids, especially in international situations, languish for years and never do get adopted.

Last edited by Siggy20; 02-03-2012 at 10:49 AM..
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Old 02-03-2012, 10:58 AM
 
14,780 posts, read 43,687,668 times
Reputation: 14622
Antlered and Linmora, what is your definition of "better"? It seems to be heavy on material and light on all of the other things that go into parenting like love and caring for your child. In this exact situation there is nothing that shows that this woman is an unfit mother. She did what millions have done and that was to illegally enter the US in order to secure the possibility of a better life. Why is that single act, which for decades has had a blind eye turned to it, suddenly worthy of tearing a child away from his parents? A situation made only worse by an apparent lack of due process by the courts, which thankfully the Supreme Court had the clarity to see.

Of course if the child stays here in the US he will have a "better" life materially and most likely more opportunities, but does better opportunity and wealth trump a parents rights to their own child? If this was the case, there are plenty of depressed areas of this country we could be raiding and handing the kids over to wealthier people who want them, no need to cross any borders for that.

I just can't agree to the notion that this mother does not deserve the opportunity to raise her child simply because she is going to be returning to a country that is poorer than this one. If anything people who are pro-international adoption should be rooting for that, because of the stigma often attached to international adoption; that the only reason Americans adopt internationally is that they have total control once that plane takes off to bring the child home. Many nations see international adoption by western couples, particularly from the US, as being "stealing their children". Cases like this, will only reinforce that stigma.
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Old 02-03-2012, 12:57 PM
 
1,515 posts, read 2,273,704 times
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NJGoat, I edited my post a few times after watching the video so hopefully "better" life wasn't said in my more recent version. First skimmed through the article, I thought the mom had other criminal charges against her but in this case, it seemed like the judge took a hard line against a woman who wasn't offered any options. Her only crime seemed to be being in the country illegally. In this case, I don't think the courts did due diligence in letting this child be adopted when the mother had not relinquished her rights. I think that the court really screwed up and from the video, there seem to be thousands of cases just like this waiting to explode. It is a shame that she either wasn't deported with the child or the child placed with a relative. The biological mother seems loving, just wants her child back and isn't some crack head, child beating sociopath. Apologies if you read an earlier version of my comments.
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Old 02-03-2012, 01:53 PM
 
14,780 posts, read 43,687,668 times
Reputation: 14622
Quote:
Originally Posted by Linmora View Post
NJGoat, I edited my post a few times after watching the video so hopefully "better" life wasn't said in my more recent version. First skimmed through the article, I thought the mom had other criminal charges against her but in this case, it seemed like the judge took a hard line against a woman who wasn't offered any options. Her only crime seemed to be being in the country illegally. In this case, I don't think the courts did due diligence in letting this child be adopted when the mother had not relinquished her rights. I think that the court really screwed up and from the video, there seem to be thousands of cases just like this waiting to explode. It is a shame that she either wasn't deported with the child or the child placed with a relative. The biological mother seems loving, just wants her child back and isn't some crack head, child beating sociopath. Apologies if you read an earlier version of my comments.
I did read the original version of your post. Agreed that it is a sad case all around and the one who will most likely suffer the greatest is the child involved.
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Old 02-03-2012, 02:21 PM
 
Location: North America
14,204 posts, read 12,279,947 times
Reputation: 5565
Quote:
Originally Posted by Antlered Chamataka View Post
Don't twist what I said now. I take a left turn in my highway ramp and there's a damn signal which keeps me waiting for about 30 seconds, and I have a nice view of the day labor pickup site. That's where this kid's going with that kind of momma. Good for the new homebuilder and the dunkin donuts 200 yards away. Quite the contribution to American society.

Or Carlos can forget about all this and actually study advanced something in some state college.

Which one is better, you tell me.
That's a pretty arrogant assumption since many people have come from poor backgrounds and achieved great things. You have no idea WHERE this child will end up or if living with them really would make him end up in a better place. I mean bernie madof and andrew luster grew up well and you see where those stories ended up.
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Old 02-03-2012, 02:22 PM
 
Location: North America
14,204 posts, read 12,279,947 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NJGOAT View Post
I did read the original version of your post. Agreed that it is a sad case all around and the one who will most likely suffer the greatest is the child involved.
Probably not since it's doubtful they have told him anything. Since chances are this woman will not win his case this is something he need not know until her gets old enough to understand.
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Old 02-03-2012, 02:27 PM
 
Location: North America
14,204 posts, read 12,279,947 times
Reputation: 5565
Quote:
Originally Posted by Linmora View Post
They should have deported the mother and the child immediately and this issue wouldn't have occured. I think that the courts really messed up this one and unfortunately, I would not predict a good outcome for the adoptive parents. The sympathy vote always seems to go to the biological mom/dad. After listening to the video, it seemed slanted to the biological mother. It is messed up that this kid wasn't placed with a relative either. Now it will be a lengthy court battle with everyone suffering.



Interesting you say this. We adopted internationally and almost adopted two adorable little twin boys who had been abandoned by their birth mother when they were months old. She already had 6 kids of her own and was living in squalor and neglect. When she heard that there was a possibility of them being adopted, she found out that if she took them back, she could get a larger apartment and handouts from the government. Now this is a mom that had not visited her sons for 3+ years or so. Just the fact that she asked put the whole adoption of these kids in jeopardy. The referral was quickly shelved and we were shown other kids when we arrived in country. When we eventually adopted our kiddos, I saw these two little boys still in the orphanage and it sickened me. Life with the birth parent isn't always the best thing for kids in some situations. I have very little sympathy when there is neglect or a parent is in jail. Some kids, especially in international situations, languish for years and never do get adopted.

Of course it's not...but you can't assume each child will not have a good life either. In this case i think he is best off with these people. Mainly because by the time all the court stuff is done and the appeals this boy will be about 9-10 years old, does not speak her language, and the standard of living in Guatemala is very very poor.
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Old 02-03-2012, 05:55 PM
 
1,515 posts, read 2,273,704 times
Reputation: 3138
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucidkitty View Post
Of course it's not...but you can't assume each child will not have a good life either. In this case i think he is best off with these people. Mainly because by the time all the court stuff is done and the appeals this boy will be about 9-10 years old, does not speak her language, and the standard of living in Guatemala is very very poor.
Any kid, biological or adopted is not guaranteered a good life for many reasons. Perhaps the parents don't provide a good environment, perhaps the child has issues and won't be a productive adult. I'm getting to the stage of feeling that child rearing is almost like throwing the dice. Some turn out great, others not so well.

I have mixed emotions about this case. I feel for the bio mom, I feel for the adoptive parents. Nevertheless, I hope it is all resolved soon so everyone can get on with their lives and not drag this kid through the mess.
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Old 02-03-2012, 06:33 PM
 
Location: North America
14,204 posts, read 12,279,947 times
Reputation: 5565
Quote:
Originally Posted by Linmora View Post
Any kid, biological or adopted is not guaranteered a good life for many reasons. Perhaps the parents don't provide a good environment, perhaps the child has issues and won't be a productive adult. I'm getting to the stage of feeling that child rearing is almost like throwing the dice. Some turn out great, others not so well.

I have mixed emotions about this case. I feel for the bio mom, I feel for the adoptive parents. Nevertheless, I hope it is all resolved soon so everyone can get on with their lives and not drag this kid through the mess.
Sadly given the state of things i think this woman will not see her child again until he is an adult.
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