adopting and job seeking (birth, options, baby)

[X_travelbug_X]

Hi everyone, I am currently in the process of adopting a baby. I anticipate it will happen within the next 6 months, but who knows. It has already taken 3 times longer than I originally expected so 6 months is really a guess.

My question is this, I am interviewing for a new job. I had my 3rd interview today and decided not to tell him about the adoption. If I am lucky enough to be offered the job, how do I tell him?

I am planning on coming back to work full time. My husband works from home and will be in charge of child care. But, there will be that time in the beginning (8-12 weeks) where I have to complete the adoption and bond with the baby.

How would you tell the potential employer?

Thank you

[Bakeneko]

I don't see why you would bring this up on an interview at all?

[peppermint]

I wouldn't bring it up until you know something solid. I certainly wouldn't bring it up in an interview. I'm sorry to say it, but if employers know that you will be utilizing the mother-time-off portion of your package, they very well may pass you by. They aren't supposed to, but I'm sure some do it anyway. They just can't tell you that's why they are doing it. The economy is still rough, and you are giving them a reason to pass you over. Don't do that. When you have a date, that's when you tell your employer. Not before.

Those are my two cents.

[Wmsn4Life]

You do not have to and should not mention it in the interview. Once you're employed, the company can't legally hold it against you, but they certainly could during the interview process.

As I'm sure you know, the adoption process can take a VERY long time. Even if you get matched with a child, there could be several "potentials" that don't work out. You don't want to have to go through this every single time.

Keep it to yourself until the last possible moment.

[saralee]

You don't. Just like you wouldn't tell a prospective employer you are trying to conceive.

Why create an obstacle to employment?

Good luck with the adoption!

[X_travelbug_X]

I really appreciate everyone’s response. I have asked the question here and under the employment group and the responses have been unanimous. Everyone says to keep my mouth shut !

If I am fortunate enough to get the job offer I will probably follow that advise. We have been on an international adoption wait list for about 4 years already. I do have a feeling that it will happen within the next 4-6 months, but I have been saying that for years now. I would hate to lose this opportunity for a great job!

[Kibbiekat]

you don't mention it until you get the call to get on a plane to pick up your baby.

[no kudzu]

I've been thru 3 international adoptions. Two I was told hurry, drop everything and come get your child only to end up spending 4 weeks in Vietnam before I ever even saw the child and another three weeks to bring her home.

So I would not tell anyone- not co workers, family, anybody until you definitely have a date to travel and even then we all know things can change. Good luck. When you get the word, then you can spill the beans and you should reinforce to your employer you are planning to come back to work after a few weeks of bonding time. Same as recovering from a birth and bonding.