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Old 06-14-2012, 08:53 AM
 
400 posts, read 458,167 times
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Last night I had one of the most vivid dreams I've ever had.

My husband and I were in some country and there was civil unrest going on all around. We were there to help a group of orphans with some organization. We had a big van and were transporting them to some sort of safe house. The van wasn't big enough and we weren't sure how many trips we'd have time to make before whoever/whatever was coming to harm them would get there. It was heart wrenching to choose who got to ride, but we worked quickly and professionally. There was one little boy looking at my husband with a big smile after we had a full van. My husband knelt down to him and told him "Don't worry, I am coming back for you". Somehow I knew he meant more than just to get him to the safe house. I remember everything about this little boy, age, features, what he was wearing, his name was Benny. The dream went on and we were attacked in the van. I am not sure what happened to most of the orphans. We were chased through old buildings and the streets were in chaos. We found a much smaller vehicle to use and my husband was going to drive it back to the original orphanage to see if anyone survived. There were at least four older boys struck down in front of the building, there was no sign of the caregivers we were working with. There was only Benny sitting with his head in his hands. I got to him first and told him to look over at my husband. I said "see? We are back for you. We are taking you home" The rest of the dream was me in a room with no running water trying to figure out how to change his soiled clothes and wishing I had brought some wipes. We knew we would be adopting him.


I am sorry if that was long. I am pretty shaken up by it. My question is this: Have any of you had a similar dream or experience leading you towards a certain child? We have talked about adoption but have not decided domestic/international I generally lean away from international because of all the waiting and all the unknowns. What would any of you adoptive parents do with this? Would you just wait and see, look into the countries it could have been about, look through a waiting child list for the boy's face, go see a therapist?
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Old 06-14-2012, 12:31 PM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,434 posts, read 41,620,437 times
Reputation: 46994
none of the above.

I'm baffled that you are against international adoption because of the waiting time. Do you think domestic adoption is quick?

I think you had an interesting dream which is like all dreams....based on something you ate, read, experienced, etc but not a call to find a particular child.
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Old 06-14-2012, 02:09 PM
 
Location: Liberal Coast
4,271 posts, read 4,983,848 times
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Dream? No. We knew which kids were ours because we fell in love right when saw a picture. Not all international programs have long waiting times unless you want an infant. The country we plan on going through usually takes about seven months. That's shorter than a pregnancy.
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Old 06-14-2012, 06:36 PM
 
400 posts, read 458,167 times
Reputation: 412
Wow I have never heard of seven months, that is quick! I am not "against" international adoption at all! I am just fearful of a long drawn out adoption process while my prospective child spends formidable years in an orphanage. I have seen domestic adoptions take place much quicker, especially with waiting children and in many cases the child is with the family during the process.

Of course the bit about seeing a therapist was a joke, but I feel intensely different about this dream and I am not normally one to "spiritualize" or take everything to be a sign. I don't know...
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Old 06-14-2012, 09:26 PM
 
Location: Liberal Coast
4,271 posts, read 4,983,848 times
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We'll be doing a special needs adoption, though, since we are going to adopt kids with HIV. It's a bit faster going that route. I've even heard of families doing it in five months from start to finish.
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Old 06-17-2012, 10:37 AM
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
17,568 posts, read 21,748,544 times
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I think adoption is a very spiritual experience. I think the dream could be a sign that you have a desire to adopt and that perhaps, there is a child or two out there who needs you.

That's what I think. And I believe in dreams as a connection to the subconscious and to more.
HOWEVER, if you do decide to pursue international adoption; I would not share this with the agency or the social worker who conducts your home study.

Some people can be closed minded.

I am not and I'd take it as a sign that you should at least explore adoption.
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Old 06-24-2012, 10:58 PM
 
Location: Richfield, idaho
97 posts, read 140,743 times
Reputation: 139
Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahdeanne View Post
Last night I had one of the most vivid dreams I've ever had.

My husband and I were in some country and there was civil unrest going on all around. We were there to help a group of orphans with some organization. We had a big van and were transporting them to some sort of safe house. The van wasn't big enough and we weren't sure how many trips we'd have time to make before whoever/whatever was coming to harm them would get there. It was heart wrenching to choose who got to ride, but we worked quickly and professionally. There was one little boy looking at my husband with a big smile after we had a full van. My husband knelt down to him and told him "Don't worry, I am coming back for you". Somehow I knew he meant more than just to get him to the safe house. I remember everything about this little boy, age, features, what he was wearing, his name was Benny. The dream went on and we were attacked in the van. I am not sure what happened to most of the orphans. We were chased through old buildings and the streets were in chaos. We found a much smaller vehicle to use and my husband was going to drive it back to the original orphanage to see if anyone survived. There were at least four older boys struck down in front of the building, there was no sign of the caregivers we were working with. There was only Benny sitting with his head in his hands. I got to him first and told him to look over at my husband. I said "see? We are back for you. We are taking you home" The rest of the dream was me in a room with no running water trying to figure out how to change his soiled clothes and wishing I had brought some wipes. We knew we would be adopting him.


I am sorry if that was long. I am pretty shaken up by it. My question is this: Have any of you had a similar dream or experience leading you towards a certain child? We have talked about adoption but have not decided domestic/international I generally lean away from international because of all the waiting and all the unknowns. What would any of you adoptive parents do with this? Would you just wait and see, look into the countries it could have been about, look through a waiting child list for the boy's face, go see a therapist?
Please listen carefullly. Before I married my wife I foster cared for many children after I married her we adopted her brothers three kids (hes a drug addict) she had all sorts of dreams about saving the kids and how wonderfull it was going to be etc. I have to let you know that when you adopt a child he/she brings all his /her "baggage" some good some bad. and you will be dealing with it all. My BIL's three kids have their own. -that along with the economic situation where I lost my job and was unemployed for one and a half year. Her work hours have been cut back from 40 hrs to less than 12. I had to move to another state to get another job. She expected the kids to behave in a certain way. well they hve their own agenda and what can I say I now take care of the three in another state on less tha 1/2 the pay I used to earn.
Hope for the best but expect the worst.
from your dream I know you have a great and caring heart but please look at the reality. Love is not enough to save a child. He/she will need a steady and caring home that doesn't mean that you will give them everything that they want but everything they need - and there is a difference. You will have to deal with their dificulties whether they bring them with them or the worlds give it to them. I can't possibly give you enough help on this subject in this forum but seek some profesional help before you adopt. Go into with open eyes, and open heart knowing full well you will have dificulties that are unexpected and you may not get any help. God bless you and with open eyes and heart may you find it in your home the ability to adopt a child there are a lot who need help.
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Old 06-24-2012, 11:13 PM
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
17,568 posts, read 21,748,544 times
Reputation: 44332
Quote:
Originally Posted by ecaridad View Post
Please listen carefullly. Before I married my wife I foster cared for many children after I married her we adopted her brothers three kids (hes a drug addict) she had all sorts of dreams about saving the kids and how wonderfull it was going to be etc. I have to let you know that when you adopt a child he/she brings all his /her "baggage" some good some bad. and you will be dealing with it all. My BIL's three kids have their own. -that along with the economic situation where I lost my job and was unemployed for one and a half year. Her work hours have been cut back from 40 hrs to less than 12. I had to move to another state to get another job. She expected the kids to behave in a certain way. well they hve their own agenda and what can I say I now take care of the three in another state on less tha 1/2 the pay I used to earn.
Hope for the best but expect the worst.
from your dream I know you have a great and caring heart but please look at the reality. Love is not enough to save a child. He/she will need a steady and caring home that doesn't mean that you will give them everything that they want but everything they need - and there is a difference. You will have to deal with their dificulties whether they bring them with them or the worlds give it to them. I can't possibly give you enough help on this subject in this forum but seek some profesional help before you adopt. Go into with open eyes, and open heart knowing full well you will have dificulties that are unexpected and you may not get any help. God bless you and with open eyes and heart may you find it in your home the ability to adopt a child there are a lot who need help.

Many of the things you mention are why I advocate international and anonymous adoption. The less contact the better. That seems to be true.
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Old 06-25-2012, 10:18 AM
 
Location: Richfield, idaho
97 posts, read 140,743 times
Reputation: 139
Quote:
Originally Posted by sheena12 View Post
Many of the things you mention are why I advocate international and anonymous adoption. The less contact the better. That seems to be true.
I don't know about International adoptions, but I do know what i was talking about was what the children bring with them. the father (drugs) and mother (prostitute and drugs) have had no contact with the kids (by their choice). Never the less the kids (who were 3, 4 and 6 when left by their parents still carry a lot of issues) The oldest still remembers taking the change they would throw at them (to shut up their crying) and take her siblings down to the store to buy bread and peanut butter for food). Even though they suffered and they remember (the two oldest) their suffering. Please note that you cannot stop their curiosity and questions. The youngest (now 14) has started to talk to her mother through facebook. Needless to say her mother (she doesn't realize that I keep track of all my kids computer usage) says what ever she wants. "I was never a drug addict or a prostitute -that was your father and his families stories" "Im the CEO of a major investigative company". "I always wanted to be with you its your fathers family that kept us apart." etc etc.
realize that no matter how far apart you might keep (or they might want to keep away) the parents. the children will always have questions. no matter how honestly you answer -the children have to come up with the answers.
My wife has a cousin who adopted two girls he found abandonded in china. Literaly the kids were found in a country road tied up one was almost dead from dehydration. he went through literal hell (and a lot of money) to allow the authorities to let him adopt the girls (what a surprise to his wife when he came home). He was never dishonest with them always told them the truth (even showed them the photographs he had when he found them etc). Now the girls are in their 20's. Guess what they are both in China trying to find their "parents". Can you blame them? what a weight it must be on them to know that they were left on a road to die.
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