changing child's name (parents, name change, first time, orphanages)
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I had a feeling about that. That's why I invoked you here! she would most likely be called Abby.
There are Kristina's in Ukraine. Not so in Russia?
There are. It just seems to be less common in my experience, which isn't a bad thing. It's definitely not like people would be butchering Kristina left and right.
I'm going to stop participating in this thread after this post. Whatever your motivation, I find it very distressing that you're SO focused on changing these childrens' names when you haven't even met them yet.
Assuming these children come to live with you permanently, think of all they're losing. Their names -- their very identities -- may be all they have left that's truly theirs.
Don't take that away from them, just because you have the notion that "parents name their children" (after all, their parents already DID name them), or because the names are unpleasant to YOUR ears, or because you think they'll be teased. Children with "regular" names get teased, too, you know.
If you're so intent changing someone's name -- change YOUR name.
As I said earlier, some names that may be considered old fashioned just suit some people. Quite often a lovely actress or beautiful model with an otherwise old fashioned name can actually give that name a bit of a boost.
It is the same with friends - when you really like someone, often you can end up liking their name more than you might have otherwise.
As for Abigail, I always think of a rather pneumatic actress we had here in Australia in the 70s who was only ever known by her first name, Abigail. She starred in a risque soap of the time called Number 96.
Not sure why I prefer K over C, no particular reason I guess. Have been thinking of the name changing off and on today - a close family member was born in Eur. and came here at 8 w/ his parents, none knew any English. He had a very unusual name (1 syllable) and while he kept his original name, he also went by a nickname for much of his life (similar to his birth name). Same thing w/ a close family friend who came about the same age from N Eur. w/ his parents, also had a fairly short unusual 1 syllable name which he kept (they lived in diff. states and met as adults). Orphaned or not, I think both might have been resistant to change - maybe if others in the group are changing their names, they might be more open to it ('when in Rome, do as the Romans do' kind of thing) but it's a sensitive topic and I think I'd tread very slowly, ie you might want to casually bring it up (w/ the help of a translator) but would take baby steps here as it might be very foreign/offensive to them - then again, it's something they may have heard about and be open to - would just be real sensitive to their feelings (which Im sure you will be). In the grand scheme of things, it's not that important (yrs ago we hosted some students from eur. and asia for brief periods - they def. had some very unusual names (even the ones from eur.) but after a day or so, we got used to them). Interestingly, found out later as an adult one of them did change the spelling of his name (it looked a bit feminine and he worked for an int'l co and maybe there was some confusion, I dont know) but I believe the pronounciation was the same, I dont think it was any big deal and it was not a topic that even came up during the time he stayed w/ us (he prob. thought we had very odd sounding names, lol).
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Originally Posted by sheena12
Some good suggestions and food for thought. I am confused you would lean to the K over the C spelling or would not?
My favorite girls name right now is Abigail. Abigail Christine after my grandmother. I am worried that the Biblical Abigail might sound bad to Russian speakers.
I'm going to stop participating in this thread after this post. Whatever your motivation, I find it very distressing that you're SO focused on changing these childrens' names when you haven't even met them yet.
Assuming these children come to live with you permanently, think of all they're losing. Their names -- their very identities -- may be all they have left that's truly theirs.
Don't take that away from them, just because you have the notion that "parents name their children" (after all, their parents already DID name them), or because the names are unpleasant to YOUR ears, or because you think they'll be teased. Children with "regular" names get teased, too, you know.
If you're so intent changing someone's name -- change YOUR name.
Leave these children be.
Please.
I am adopting them so I won't be " leaving them be", I'll be parenting them.
Some people would say that they will be losing the "eating of meat" - I say that they will be gaining compassion and a better diet.
They will be leaving behind a future of homelessness and worse.
There are studies that argue that either of these are fine or better. We are doing what we think is fine and best. If you are a parent, you do what you believe is the best for your children. If you are not, it will be more difficult to explain.
If names and naming are such a "hot button issue" for you - it is for me as well. We thought out our children's names and they love then.
We will do the same with these children's names.
Names are spiritual and significant.
This is a happy time for us and for these children, who know that they are coming to see us.
They are not stupid, all of the children have a pretty good idea why they are taking this trip.
They will be fine. You needn't worry. You have expressed your opinion.
This is mine. Odds that I will change on this? Not good.
As I said earlier, some names that may be considered old fashioned just suit some people. Quite often a lovely actress or beautiful model with an otherwise old fashioned name can actually give that name a bit of a boost.
It is the same with friends - when you really like someone, often you can end up liking their name more than you might have otherwise.
As for Abigail, I always think of a rather pneumatic actress we had here in Australia in the 70s who was only ever known by her first name, Abigail. She starred in a risque soap of the time called Number 96.
Never heard of her. Abigail to me is a beautiful classic name. There are others that I like too Caroline is one that I forgot to mention. What to you think of that?
Sheena, the name "Lacey" was previous suggested - I think by me - for Olga/Olaysia. I am assuming that Mikhail will become Michael - is this correct? So that leaves Oleg. Alek might work - the spelling is Eastern European/Russian/Ukrainian, but the sound is the same as Alec. Or you could use Aleck and make it Scots.
In general, I don't care for surnames used as first names unless they are part of the child's family history (biological or adoptive). Surnames as first names are very trendy just now, and I also think avoiding "trendiness" is a good idea. I like traditional, solid, stood-the-test-of-time names, generally. You might take a look at the current top ten names lists for boys and girls, and rule most of them out, as their popularity guarantees that there will be several children with the first five or so names in your children's circle of friends. A number of years ago, it seemed that every other child was either Jennifer or Jason. Now it's Madison and Isabella and Jayden...
There's always the back-door test: stand at the door, and yell," (first name) (middle name) (surname), come into this house right now!" in your best mom voice. If the name doesn't work, you'll know it.
Also, watch out for initials - you don't want to name a child Paul Irving Gordon, nice as it sounds...or Samuel Oliver Baker.;-)
I do think this is not something you need to do immediately upon meeting the children. Get to know them and make sure they trust and like you first (love takes more time), then broach the subject, perhaps with an interpreter. If they seem upset or are very, very attached to their Ukrainian names, back off. Consider using those names as middle names, or find a nickname that everyone likes. Even if their names sound odd and unattractive to you, that's small stuff compared with bonding with these kids - and, even if they do wind up keeping those names for a while, before long you'll associate the names with these specific children themselves, and wonder how on earth you could have ever considered calling them anything else!
We want to name them. Not work with the names that they were given by another.
We do want names that sound good to both cultures. And they will have a say.
I am very spiritual and I believe that names carry spiritual as well as psychological baggage.
They are going to be FREE from the parents who abused them, from the orphanage system, from children who made fun of them.
This is the time for new beginnings.
In Hebrew and Christian scripture, there are so many instances of people taking or being given new names when circumstances changed.
Abram to Abram
Sarai to Sarah
Jacob to Isreal
Saul to Paul to name a few.
If you look on the Pregnancy forum, you will see occasional threads about naming.
No one there asks, "but are you sure you are able to parent?" "how do you know you will not miscarry?".
The are supportive, enthusiastic and optimistic. That's what we would like for our selves and other PAPs.
Ditsky Dom and Detsky Dom , is phonetic Russian for Children's Home.
Dom - means house or home.
Dom Rebenka is Baby House . Orphanages.
We are excited as much as pregnant parents would be at this time and place. We are in our first trimester of adoption,
Adoption & RE-naming a child is not the same as being pregnant & naming that child, we are already PEOPLE who exist in the world with names, identities, families (both biological & newly formed via caretakers &/or friends). Our lives do not BEGIN at adoption & PAPs acting that way in order to fulfill a fantasy is a great dishonor to who adoptees are. We are people, not fetuses.
In the book "The Russian Word For Snow" the child was named "Sned" because he was dropped at the orphanage on a snowy day.
Try going through life in an American middle school named "Sned" We love our kids too much to name them Sned or to be self indulgent when it comes to names.Or too experemental.
We like Barak Obama and now, it's a name we might use. But we're glad his mother used it first.
Sned isn't the Russian word for snow. If the book actually says it is then you should take anything else it says with a grain of salt because that is very poor research, something that can be confirmed with just a bilingual dictionary.
I'm not looking to debate this from those of you who are against it no matter what, I'd like to hear from others who would tell me what they would do. Oleg is a beauiful little boy with an ugly name. In his own country it is rare to find anyone under 55 with that name. Olga falls into the Bertha, Gertrude, Mildred category.
Both are just untrue. I know a number of young Russian and Ukrainian people with both names both in the US and in Russia. Yes, usually Olga has a nickname but almost all Slavic people usually have a nickname for everyday use (or multiple nicknames); it's the ordinary cultural practice. It's a way to show affection. Conversely the full name is a way to show respect which is why more often older people will be called by their full names.
They sound better to American ears when pronounced correctly, not pronounced like the phonetic American spelling. Oleg is pronounced more like "Alyek" properly, and Olga has a soft L and a round O. (Same story with Igor, actually, which people were griping about earlier in the thread...it is a gentle name when pronounced right, almost sounds like Americans say "eager.") I'm thinking maybe if you are going to adopt from Slavic countries you need to be doing some actual examination of Slavic cultures rather than going with your assumptions.
Last edited by Frostnip; 09-29-2012 at 05:43 AM..
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That's why I invoked you here! she would most likely be called Abby. 
