changing child's name (birth, parents, name change, children)

[winterbird]

I'm curious as to whether you think it is appropriate to change a child's birthname. I'm referring to older kids, not babies.

[lkb0714]

Just to change it? No.

But I have known families who adopted Asian kids who gave them more "American" names along with their Asian names. Considering this is common practice for many Asian American families, and not just adopted families, I don't see anything wrong with it.

[christina0001]

I think it should be done with caution. My cousin was adopted by her stepfather when she was 7 or 8, and they changed her middle and last name at the time. It always deeply pained her, especially because of the middle name. She changed it back when she got married. I think parents should discuss it with the child and try to find something that everyone, including the child, is comfortable with. A person's name is so, well, personal!

[skyegirl]

I would ask the child what he/she thought about changing their name. There are some horrible names out there, eg: Thankgodforyou, Chardonnay, etc., then I would consider changing it. But, just to change a decent name, I wouldn't.

[malamute]

My cousin was adopted when he was over age four and my uncle had always wanted to name his first son a particular name, his adopted son had a perfectly normal name and he asked if it was a good idea to change it -- they told him that if he always planned to use a particular name for his first son, this boy was certainly that so the name was changed and there were no problems.

He doesn't really remember being called the other name and he's been fine having the name he has, which is the name his dad always wanted for his first son.

I don't know about 10 or 12 year olds though, below school age would likely be different.

[winterbird]

Thanks for the feedback/experiences.

I was thinking more along the lines of what skyegirl mentioned. Some of these names are just horrible. Our name is so connected to our perception of self that I would think in some instances it would be healthy and give a good boost to the self esteem. I agree too that it should be w the child's consent.

[Bakeneko]

It's a tricky issue and one that came up alot when I was still a foster parent. Some of the names were just awful, but some of the thinking was the their name was all some of these kids had that was theirs...

[winterbird]

That it some perspective there, Bakeneko. So true.

[brokencrayola]

I think the child should be old enough and desirous of having the name changed themselves.

[CraigCreek]

Sometimes children who are adopted internationally may have names which do not work in English-speaking countries. This was the case with one of my young relatives - although the given name had a poetic and significant meaning in the native language, it could have caused cruel teasing here because it sounded like some a very unpleasant phrase in English. So the adoptive parents changed it to a similar sounding but different name, one which related to a name passed down several generations in our family. The new name has the same initial and ending letters and number of syllables as did the earlier name, and the child has been told that they can change back to their given name if they prefer to do so when they are adult. I doubt very much if this will happen. This child was nine when they were adopted.

The younger sibling's name worked well both in English and in the native language, so was not changed. Each child received a new middle name to take the place of the previous patronymic, and of course the surname is now that of their adoptive parents. Coincidentally, that initial did not change.