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Old 09-11-2012, 05:57 PM
 
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Further reading:

AT Proponent — Martha Welch

with videos:

AT Proponent — Martha Welch

Neil Feinberg is particularly horrendous and thankfully he no longer practiices:

"In 2010, Feinberg agreed to surrender his social-work license permanently"

Moderator cut: The following video about Neil Feinberg is potentially distressing. Please be aware, thanks.

AT Proponent — Neil Feinberg

There is also what is called "training up", quite a few adopted children have been killed by proponents:

Death of Lydia Schatz - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

This is an article by another Christian discussing the Pearl's book.

(How Not) To Train Up a Child | Challies Dot Com

Last edited by JustJulia; 09-14-2012 at 07:33 AM.. Reason: asked by member to add warning to video
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Old 09-11-2012, 10:21 PM
 
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I completely agree that such methods as are described above are dangerous, cruel, and vicious. For any child...be they adopted or biological, diagnosed with RAD or not. It is appalling what cruelties are inflicted upon children in this world...see my most recent post in another thread under adoption for more info.
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Old 09-12-2012, 09:32 AM
 
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Originally Posted by CraigCreek View Post
I completely agree that such methods as are described above are dangerous, cruel, and vicious. For any child...be they adopted or biological, diagnosed with RAD or not. It is appalling what cruelties are inflicted upon children in this world...see my most recent post in another thread under adoption for more info.
I read through the page on every single therapist on the above site and it is pretty scary reading.

On a slighly different note and something I had wanted to say on the other closed thread (though still relevant to here) is that when a child adopted via domestic infant adoption ends up being abused by their APs, it can feel like a double betrayal because for many DIA adoptees both now and in the past, their bmoms were told that placing their child for adoption was what is in the best interest of their child so that ending up in an abusive situation makes a mockery of that statement. Quite often the adoptee feels shame at being abused.

As an adult, often the adoptee finds it hard to get anyone to listen because they are then dismissed as "having a bad experience" and thus not worth listening to.

So even though biological children get abused by their parents, there is that extra dimension to adoptees being abused by their APs.

Disclaimer: Please note that I am not calling all APs abusers, I am just pointing out that different dimension.

Last edited by susankate; 09-12-2012 at 09:47 AM..
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Old 09-12-2012, 09:41 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
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Please keep the thread on topic (RAD and its possible treatments). Thank you.
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Old 09-12-2012, 01:32 PM
 
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RAD is often viewed as the juvenile precursor to the adult diagnosis of borderline personality disorder, which is known to be extremely difficult for both the person with such a diagnosis and for those around them, and equally difficult to treat efffectively. However, there is a newer treatment, dialectical behavior therapy, which has had some good results with people with BPD - I wonder if some form of this treatment also might be effective in helping children and young people diagnosed with RAD? DBT focuses on helping the person with BPD slow down and self-examine before reacting to triggers (as well as engaging the person in more formal self-examination and assisting with insights as to the causes of their difficulties). It is essential that the person being treated for BPD have trust and good communication with the DBT therapist.
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Old 09-12-2012, 04:05 PM
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CraigCreek View Post
RAD is often viewed as the juvenile precursor to the adult diagnosis of borderline personality disorder, which is known to be extremely difficult for both the person with such a diagnosis and for those around them, and equally difficult to treat efffectively. However, there is a newer treatment, dialectical behavior therapy, which has had some good results with people with BPD - I wonder if some form of this treatment also might be effective in helping children and young people diagnosed with RAD? DBT focuses on helping the person with BPD slow down and self-examine before reacting to triggers (as well as engaging the person in more formal self-examination and assisting with insights as to the causes of their difficulties). It is essential that the person being treated for BPD have trust and good communication with the DBT therapist.

That's very true Craig. There is a great deal of co-morbidity betweehn RAD and BPD.
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Old 09-18-2012, 07:45 PM
 
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Originally Posted by sheena12 View Post
In another thread Reactive Attachment Disorder was brought up and discussed briefly.

This is a diagnoses given mostly to PI - post institutionalized children who are then adopted into families. Symptoms include but are not limited to, failure to attach to the adoptive parents, random attachment to any adult and an assortment of difficulties.

Often, for some reason, many people think that children adopted from Eastern Europe are most susceptible, and that only older adopted children experience this.

I know some one who adopted at the same time as I did, from Korea. Both girls were in the hospital for the first weeks of life then transferred to foster care. Foster care is not the same as one mother caring for one infant. It sounds better that an orphanage to American ears, but it involves one case giver and several infants. The amount can be as much as 15, from what I hear, but the agency plays down the amount. In addition the foster mother may have other living in the home. Older children who help with care giving.

So, when your child arrives from Korea at typically four to six months, in terms of attachment; the situation is not perfect. Although the agency will try to tell you that it is.

I read up on attachment and took heed. My daughter had already experienced at least three (if not more) care givers - her birth mother, the foster mother and who knows who else - at the foster home and in the hospital.

I did not return to work - even part time until she was nine.

My cohort in adoption did. After six months she returned to work full time, leaving her daughter at her companies day care center.

Her mother moved is, and when she came home from work tired, she passed the care of her daughter off to her mom. From the beginning, a multitude of relatives were permitted to care for this child, From the age of three she attended summer camp. Day Care.

I limited the people who could care for and hold our daughter for the first six months to my husband and myself. She already had endured four months of multiple care givers, loss, change and I wanted to be sure that she knew who her parents were. I didn't care whose feelings were hurt. My concern was for my daughter.

I suggested that my cohort in Korean adoption do the same, but she said "that's not really a concern with Korean adoptees." I let it go. She wanted to work more than parent.

Her daughter is sadly now promiscuous and is acting out with substance abuse. Her mother complains that she has not attached and blames genetics.

My daughter is sixteen and an honor student. She went on her first date last week.

Also reactive attachment disorder can be dealt with. If it is on the high end of the spectrum, it is harder.
However, recognizing it and not being afraid of the diagnoses is much more helpful than pretending it does not exist, or that children from certain countries are impervious to RAD.

No child who is adopted at any age is impervios to this
I think this is a bit simplistic to say that a teen is acting out and that it's because her mother worked or that she has RAD. A lot of teens act out and a bit of rebellion is often normal and healthy. There are a lot of factors that effect the outcome of RAD such as the exact conditions of care, length of time, and genetic disposition, among others. In my opinion, the effects of RAD aren't fully realized in the teen years as it's too hard to distinguish what is teen rebellion, identity issues etc. I think the effects become apparent in adult years "when the dust settles" and some never make a connection at all. I had RAD and I was an honor student in high school, got several scholarships to top colleges, was never hooked on drugs/drinking or got pregnant, etc., but I had RAD and still have lots of difficulties with relationships.
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Old 09-18-2012, 08:07 PM
 
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Originally Posted by susankate View Post
I read through the page on every single therapist on the above site and it is pretty scary reading.

On a slighly different note and something I had wanted to say on the other closed thread (though still relevant to here) is that when a child adopted via domestic infant adoption ends up being abused by their APs, it can feel like a double betrayal because for many DIA adoptees both now and in the past, their bmoms were told that placing their child for adoption was what is in the best interest of their child so that ending up in an abusive situation makes a mockery of that statement. Quite often the adoptee feels shame at being abused.

As an adult, often the adoptee finds it hard to get anyone to listen because they are then dismissed as "having a bad experience" and thus not worth listening to.

So even though biological children get abused by their parents, there is that extra dimension to adoptees being abused by their APs.

Disclaimer: Please note that I am not calling all APs abusers, I am just pointing out that different dimension.
I am so glad you said this. I wasn't abused by my adoptive parents--thank God--but I was abused by a lot of people in my life after the adoption. Many people think in black-and-white, that for adoptees they go from horrendous circumstances to perfect circumstances. Of course, being in a home with one or two parents and possibly siblings in general is a much better living situation than living in an orphanage. But that said, I know that for me personally it was very difficult to acknowledge the abuse I went through post-adoption because I wanted to keep up the image of my adoptive parents giving me the perfect life. I did have a wonderful childhood in many ways, but at the end of the day, the abuse I went through for years did have a profound effect on me and just cause I was adopted into a better life doesn't erase that. I agree that being adopted can complicate matters for adopted survivors, who can often feel pressured by friends and family to paint pre-adoption life as all bad and post-adoption life as all good. It's important for anyone to acknowledge and admit any abuse they went through, no matter when or who it was by, so that they can start the process of healing.

And of course, in regards to RAD, abuse can definitely make things worse, because abuse causes trust issues in anyone (adopted or not) and trust is at the core of all relationships. I imagine that post-adoption abuse makes recovering from whatever degree of RAD an adoptee might have that much more difficult.
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Old 09-18-2012, 08:13 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Marymarym View Post
I think this is a bit simplistic to say that a teen is acting out and that it's because her mother worked or that she has RAD. A lot of teens act out and a bit of rebellion is often normal and healthy. There are a lot of factors that effect the outcome of RAD such as the exact conditions of care, length of time, and genetic disposition, among others. In my opinion, the effects of RAD aren't fully realized in the teen years as it's too hard to distinguish what is teen rebellion, identity issues etc. I think the effects become apparent in adult years "when the dust settles" and some never make a connection at all. I had RAD and I was an honor student in high school, got several scholarships to top colleges, was never hooked on drugs/drinking or got pregnant, etc., but I had RAD and still have lots of difficulties with relationships.
I know a lot of people in my life personally who see a therapist for attachment/trust issues (not all of whom are adopted). One trend I have noticed among the people I know is that many of them tend to get themselves completely sucked into academics, hobbies, or whatever can get them away from having to face their relationship issues. I have to admit I'm a little guilty of it myself, lol. It seems like a pretty common coping mechanism, at least based on what I've seen.
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Old 09-18-2012, 09:25 PM
 
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Originally Posted by nimchimpsky View Post
I know a lot of people in my life personally who see a therapist for attachment/trust issues (not all of whom are adopted). One trend I have noticed among the people I know is that many of them tend to get themselves completely sucked into academics, hobbies, or whatever can get them away from having to face their relationship issues. I have to admit I'm a little guilty of it myself, lol. It seems like a pretty common coping mechanism, at least based on what I've seen.
What can happen also is that people do see a therapist for various issues and everything BUT adoption is looked at - when the client has mentioned to the therapist that they are adopted, the therapist just ignores it and more or less tell the client that it isn't relevant because the therapist believes adoption can only be considered a positive factor. Thus, the client can go through therapy without ever having that one factor ever looked at.

Someone on here said about adoptees blaming everything on their adoption - however, the reality for many adoptees is that at no time are they ever even allowed to consider that adoption is even a factor in their issues.
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