U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting > Adoption
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 09-12-2012, 07:51 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,906 posts, read 36,386,369 times
Reputation: 42509

Advertisements

Please take the debate about whether adoption is unethical to new thread. It belongs in Great Debates. The continued back-and-forth about a tangential issue is derailing the thread. Further off-topic replies will be deleted. I am not trying to be mean, and all on-topic viewpoints are welcome as long as they are presented in a reasonably respectful way.

Thanks.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 09-12-2012, 08:03 AM
 
1,879 posts, read 1,865,996 times
Reputation: 1462
When it comes to raising funds and fundraising - if it were me, I would feel more comfortable raising funds by providing a product or service in return - so for example, I would not have a problem selling jewellery or something because someone is getting something in return. I would feel uncomfortable fundraising as if for a charity, especially since a lot of the money will presumaby be returned in the tax credit (I personally would sort of feel weird getting back money on my tax for money that I didn't earn).

Last edited by JustJulia; 09-12-2012 at 08:22 AM.. Reason: deleted off topic comments
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-12-2012, 09:33 AM
 
10,532 posts, read 8,461,518 times
Reputation: 19289
susankate, most families whose adoption journeys I've followed have raised funds in various ways: by cleaning out their savings accounts, sometimes mortgaging their homes, selling second cars, selling just about anything they own which has value and can be spared, by taking out loans, with help from caring extended family members, by applying for matching grants from nonprofit organizations which support international adoption, by holding yard sales, spaghetti dinners, carnivals, bake sales, through working with ministries such as Reece's Rainbow, a non-profit which assists adoptive parents of orphaned children with special needs who happen to live in other countries, by selling crafts and other items on Etsy or through their websites and blogs, by selling on eBay...the list goes on and on.

As previously noted, few families have a spare $25,000 or so lying around - yet most families could readily feed, clothe, educate, provide health care - and love - an additional child or two, once they are home.

I have no problem whatsoever with such families providing opportunities for other caring individuals or agencies to contribute to the cost of bringing their children home. The need is desperate in many cases - just read my previous post above about a very current situation, in which orphanage neglect and outright abuse led to the near-death of a tiny five year old boy. Thank God that child is home and safe now - but there are others left behind whose committed adoptive parents are desperate to reach them, and so are asking for help from others who have a heart for children.

Last edited by JustJulia; 09-12-2012 at 09:36 AM.. Reason: deleted off topic comments
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-12-2012, 12:41 PM
 
10,532 posts, read 8,461,518 times
Reputation: 19289
I have no personal experience with any of these organizations, but have had them recommended as groups which can assist with fundraising: ShowHope, LifeSong, and ABBA Fund. Sorry, no links, but I think they all have websites.

Craigslist is another excellent way for adoptive families to advertise fundraising activities.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-12-2012, 04:01 PM
Status: "LILY DALE!" (set 1 day ago)
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
18,678 posts, read 23,299,713 times
Reputation: 48877
Quote:
Originally Posted by CraigCreek View Post
I have no personal experience with any of these organizations, but have had them recommended as groups which can assist with fundraising: ShowHope, LifeSong, and ABBA Fund. Sorry, no links, but I think they all have websites.

Craigslist is another excellent way for adoptive families to advertise fundraising activities.

Thanks Craig! I have heard about Show Hope, but not the other 2 that you mentioned.

Wasn't Show Hope once Shoshannah's (sp) Hope and isn't a Christian musician involved with it? I can't think of which one. Having a mid life moment.

Could you tell me how Craigslist is a way to advertise? Do you mean to advertise bake sales, car washes, spaghetti dinners etc.?

Another idea I have thought about is a cook book, you know the ones some churches and volunteer organizations put out containing recipes from your perspective child's home land.

You can also go to places such as Sam's Club, BJs , Costco etc and buy mass quantities of candy bars and sell them to people in your church or have a stand outside of a supermarket the way so many people do.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-12-2012, 04:55 PM
 
10,532 posts, read 8,461,518 times
Reputation: 19289
You can list yard sales on Craigslist, along with listing specific items or classes of items for sale. Do be careful meeting individual would-be buyers of specific items, of course.

I am not sure about car washes, etc., but check around - there may be a place where such fundraisers can be listed, or in the case of a car wash, you could always list it under "cars", as it would be a related service.

A cookbook sounds like a great idea, especially if you could incorporate your child's name into the title, if that is okay with your child's country and your adoption agency. "Katya's Cookies", perhaps.

I recently had a yard sale whose proceeds went to a special needs international adoption ministry. I listed it on Craiglist and in the local paper under yard sales, and noted in the ad that the proceeds would benefit special needs adoption. I had several customers who commented positively on it, and who put additional donations into a handy jar by the check-out table, where I had additional information about this ministry. I cleared around $200 in one morning - not bad.

An adoptive family I know sold gossamer-bagged colorful bracelets made from hand-made polymer beads to bring their little girl, who has Down syndrome, home from eastern Europe. Another family who raises goats sold handmade goat's milk scented soaps in attractive paper wrappers to free their son from a bleak eastern European mental institution - he was only six. Other families have offered knit and crocheted cute hats for children, sold handmade dolls and stuffed toys, offered handmade wooden toys, artwork, knit and crocheted scarves, hats, headbands and mittens, and a world of other handcrafted items on Etsy. Many families have blogs with easy-to-use PayPal buttons to facilitate Etsy or other purchases and donations. No two families follow the same fundraising path, but all wallk it.

Yoiu might consider asking those family members and friends who customarily give you holiday and/or birthday gifts instead to donate the cost of those gifts towards helping you bring your child home. If you can tell them that their donation went to cover a specific expense - perhaps copies of birth certificates, marriage licences, cost of meals while abroad, etc. - it makes it more "real" and helps them feel as if they've truly helped bring your child home. Other friends and relatives may prefer to give material help in the form of clothing, toys, etc. It's all good.

I wasn't aware that Show Hope used to be Shoshannah's Hope - but have heard of the latter. No idea if they are one and the same, though!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-12-2012, 07:07 PM
 
2,779 posts, read 4,675,062 times
Reputation: 5034
Just wanted to note to the poster that mentioned it that you can't take the tax credit if you were given the money through fund raising. I'm not sure how that works with actually exchanging an item for money because that wouldn't be technically charity, but if you are given a grant it isn't applicable to the credit.

Oh and the musician mentioned is Steven Curtis Chapman.

I should probably note too that we didn't feel comfortable fundraising to pay for our adoptions. I don't mind if other people do, it just felt strange to me.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-12-2012, 07:32 PM
 
Location: Warren, OH
2,748 posts, read 3,347,119 times
Reputation: 6479
Quote:
Originally Posted by truebluetwo View Post
If a couple cannot afford to adopt, why would you encourage them to beg?

I'm guessing if a couple told you they needed money for a down payment on a house, you (and most everyone else) would rightly tell them to get another job, budget for their wants, etc.

And who's going to pay for the child's expenses after adoption?
I do not think it is begging. People at my house of worship give money for adoptions, and I have given money too. If someone in my temple needed some money for a down payment for a house, I would give a hundred or so to help my fellow man start their life. As far as who is going pay for the child's expenses the parents do. People who have a child biologically have the fees paid by insurance. Adoption is not covered by insurance, only after the child comes over here.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-12-2012, 07:48 PM
 
10,532 posts, read 8,461,518 times
Reputation: 19289
A little clarification: children who are adopted internationally become American citizens the moment they reach American soil, and they are then immediately covered by their parents' insurance.

The term "fundraising" has been used two ways by various posters in this thread: to refer to funds raised by adoptive families through selling items or services, yard sales, extra work, savings, economizing, etc., and to refer to donations to adoptive families by others in response to such families' solicitation of donations. The latter seems more controversial with some individuals.

It might be helpful for us to be specific about which we mean when we discuss this topic. Also, adoption grants and unexpected gifts which are not requested by families don't seem to fall into either category, yet are considered part of fundraising as I personally understand it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-12-2012, 07:49 PM
 
Location: Warren, OH
2,748 posts, read 3,347,119 times
Reputation: 6479
Quote:
Originally Posted by truebluetwo View Post
That may be true, but if you'd given the thousands to your daughter's mother--instead of agencies and attorneys--she'd have been able to have raise her own child.

And that doesn't answer the question about potential adopters begging for money. If I want something, I save money to buy it. What about your friends getting PT jobs? A friend of mine needed a new car so she got a cashier job at Target (in addition to her FT job) to help with the purchase. And adopters end up getting a kickback from the government as it is...

I'm offended by a couple not resourceful enough to figure out how to pay for their own wants but want to guilt others into paying for it.

Who are you to tell anyone to give the money to the adoptee's birth mother. People want to adopt children and are not there to support the adoptee's birth mother. If YOU want to give to the agencies, that's your prerogative. Your speaking about your friend is an insult, buying a car is not the same as having a child.
When you buy a car, you have monthly expenses and for an adoption, you need the $20,000 to $40,000 up front even though you might have done in two or three payments. Not everyone has that kind of money lying around. How could biological parents have children if insurance didn't pay for it? You really should keep your opinions to yourself, you are quite offensive.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting > Adoption
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 05:40 AM.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top