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Old 09-21-2012, 04:58 AM
 
Location: Out West
22,484 posts, read 16,644,823 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marymarym View Post
Look up the definition of special needs children. It's children with disabilities. Being 5 years old is not a disability. The only place where this definition of special needs would even be considered would be the adoption industry. The only reason being is that older children are considered less desirable by the PAPs. Again you are defining children as to their "marketability".
A 10 year old orphan in the Ukraine doesn't give a crap about your label of "marketability". All that kid cares about is that someone adopts him/her so he/she can have a home.

While you're busy arguing semantics, a kid, (or more), needs a home.

Last edited by JustJulia; 09-21-2012 at 05:48 AM.. Reason: removed the question posed because this is sheena12's thread asking for advice
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Old 09-21-2012, 09:49 AM
 
203 posts, read 199,607 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Three Wolves In Snow View Post
A 10 year old orphan in the Ukraine doesn't give a crap about your label of "marketability". All that kid cares about is that someone adopts him/her so he/she can have a home.

While you're busy arguing semantics, a kid, (or more), needs a home.
I'm wondering why the assumption is always that an adoptive home is automatically more amazing and wonderful than the child's current situation. People who choose to adopt are human beings like everyone else. Nobody morphs into some sort of superhuman through the act of adopting. Adoptive parents can be addicted to drugs and alcohol. They can lose their jobs and end up homeless. They can physically/sexually/emotionally abuse the child or children in their care. There are many adoptees out there who swapped one hellish situation for another. Adoption doesn't *guarantee* a better life for the adoptees, just a different one.

Two of my neighbors adopted from China. They could have saved about $20k by adopting through foster care in the United States. But they both specifically said to me (an adult adoptee) that they wanted to adopt from China to avoid having to deal with the child's original family. They were willing to pay $20k+ to not have to deal with the child's original family. Their motives had absolutely nothing to do with helping a child in an orphanage. They wanted a child, period. More specifically, they wanted a child who had the least chance of ever having involvement with their original families. I mention my neighbors to point out that not all adoptions are about what is best for the child. Many adoptions are strictly about what *some* adopters want. And the adoption industry knows this. The adoption industry knows that there are people like my neighbors out here. The adoption industry knows that there are people like my neighbors out here who are willing to pay top dollar to get, and avoid, whatever it is they want to get and avoid. So to assume that all adoptions are for entirely altruistic reasons or that all children want to be adopted by American people seems a bit misguided to me. Adoption is not that simplistic.

It is my feeling that it always comes back to the adoption industry and its supply and demand business model. The haves are automatically assumed to be "better" for the child than the have-nots because that's what keeps the money flowing in. It's a shame that those who are truly motivated by reasons that are focused on the child and child's needs as an adoptee get lumped in with those who aren't. Again, the system is set up in a way that actually promotes and encourages the rewarding of young human beings to people who don't always have the child's best interests in mind--because as long as they have the cash and can pass a home study, they'll get what they want. Because again, adoption is not as simple as "altruistic couple takes in waif from another country and all is well." There's money, politics, secrets, lies, coercion, questionable motives, and personal bias involved. Which makes for much complication. It is my feeling that the large amounts of money changing hands (for which people must fund raise) is one of the key factors leading to some of the more questionable practices.
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Old 09-21-2012, 10:57 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,906 posts, read 36,133,432 times
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Back to the topic, please.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sheena12 View Post
Does anyone have a list of resources to help fund international adoption?
Thanks!
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Old 09-21-2012, 12:19 PM
 
10,362 posts, read 8,324,888 times
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Project Hopeful (www.projecthopeful.org) works to assist orphaned children who are HIV-positive, as well as with potential adoptive families for these children. Many children who are HIV-positive live in orphanages and institutions around the world, due to the death or extreme ill-health of their biological parents, and extended family members who are either unable or frightened to take the children into their own homes. Similarly, few in-country adoptions of children who are HIV-positive ever occur in the developing world.

Obviously, better education about HIV and AIDS is needed - everywhere - as is better health practices to avoid transmission of HIV and effective treatment of both HIV-positivity and full-blown AIDS - everywhere. Children who are HIV positive can now be very effectively treated with a twice-a-day dose of a few pills, and the cost of those medications is declining. There are many beautiful, cognitively typical, healthy children whose HIV is held at bay by appropriate medical treatment who are available for adoption in many of the countries of Eastern Europe, parts of Africa, Haiti, and elsewhere. Project Hopeful works to unite these children, who have lost their biological families forever, with loving adoptive families who can give these children a future.
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Old 09-21-2012, 12:39 PM
 
10,362 posts, read 8,324,888 times
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Both Life to Orphans (www.life2orphans.org) and His Kids, Too (www.hiskidstoo.org) provide assistance to children living in orphanages and institutions in Ukraine. Both groups have provided medicinal supplies, specialized health care, clothing, toys, educational materials, food, shoes, structural repairs and renovation, appliances, and sponsorship of one-on-one care for institutionalized children with severe special needs, in addition to traveling to Ukraine several times annually to offer hands-on support of various kinds. Both of these charities are located in the U.S.

Bible Orphan Ministry, with a Ukrainian staff, is a small but effective organization located in Zhytomyr, Ukraine. BOM serves children in orphanages and people with special needs living in institutions with donations of clothing, bedding, needed repairs, educational and recreational materials and Biblically-based instruction, along with assisting teens who have aged out of orphanages. They welcome donations of the above items, and will transport them to where they are most needed. Their blog can be found at www.bibleorphanministry.blogspot.com and includes links to their Facebook page and website.

Samaritan's Purse/Operation Christmas Child has sent shoeboxes filled with toiletries, basic grooming supplies, small toys, socks, mittens, scarves, hats, candy, small games, etc. to children in need around the world, many in orphanages, for years. Many churches participate in this program, but individuals are also welcome to take part. See www.samaritanspurse.org/index.php/occ for more info.

Even if you oppose international adoption as strongly as some posting here have indicated, and feel that resources are better spent helping correct the conditions which lead to children being placed in orphanages by their biological families, those same children have needs which are seldom fully met - and fewer than 15% (I have also read fewer than 10%) of those children will ever be reunified with their birth families or extended families, or be adopted either domestically or internationally. However, there are ways to provide better conditions for those children, even though we may not be able to free them from the orphanages or institutions or connect them with families of their own of any derivation.

The above charities offer numerous ways to assist such children, and they are honest and effective. I would urge all reading here, regardless of your philosophical views about the orphan crisis, to check out these sites and see if you can do more than simply post your opinions and experiences.

I have donated in kind and financially to all of these NGOS, and can vouch for their good work.

Last edited by CraigCreek; 09-21-2012 at 12:50 PM..
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Old 09-21-2012, 09:45 PM
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
18,549 posts, read 23,056,992 times
Reputation: 48435
Quote:
Originally Posted by Three Wolves In Snow View Post
A 10 year old orphan in the Ukraine doesn't give a crap about your label of "marketability". All that kid cares about is that someone adopts him/her so he/she can have a home.

While you're busy arguing semantics, a kid, (or more), needs a home.
I know. I can't figure this out.
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Old 09-21-2012, 09:49 PM
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
18,549 posts, read 23,056,992 times
Reputation: 48435
Quote:
Originally Posted by gcm7189 View Post
I'm wondering why the assumption is always that an adoptive home is automatically more amazing and wonderful than the child's current situation. People who choose to adopt are human beings like everyone else. Nobody morphs into some sort of superhuman through the act of adopting. Adoptive parents can be addicted to drugs and alcohol. They can lose their jobs and end up homeless. They can physically/sexually/emotionally abuse the child or children in their care. There are many adoptees out there who swapped one hellish situation for another. Adoption doesn't *guarantee* a better life for the adoptees, just a different one.

Two of my neighbors adopted from China. They could have saved about $20k by adopting through foster care in the United States. But they both specifically said to me (an adult adoptee) that they wanted to adopt from China to avoid having to deal with the child's original family. They were willing to pay $20k+ to not have to deal with the child's original family. Their motives had absolutely nothing to do with helping a child in an orphanage. They wanted a child, period. More specifically, they wanted a child who had the least chance of ever having involvement with their original families. I mention my neighbors to point out that not all adoptions are about what is best for the child. Many adoptions are strictly about what *some* adopters want. And the adoption industry knows this. The adoption industry knows that there are people like my neighbors out here. The adoption industry knows that there are people like my neighbors out here who are willing to pay top dollar to get, and avoid, whatever it is they want to get and avoid. So to assume that all adoptions are for entirely altruistic reasons or that all children want to be adopted by American people seems a bit misguided to me. Adoption is not that simplistic.

It is my feeling that it always comes back to the adoption industry and its supply and demand business model. The haves are automatically assumed to be "better" for the child than the have-nots because that's what keeps the money flowing in. It's a shame that those who are truly motivated by reasons that are focused on the child and child's needs as an adoptee get lumped in with those who aren't. Again, the system is set up in a way that actually promotes and encourages the rewarding of young human beings to people who don't always have the child's best interests in mind--because as long as they have the cash and can pass a home study, they'll get what they want. Because again, adoption is not as simple as "altruistic couple takes in waif from another country and all is well." There's money, politics, secrets, lies, coercion, questionable motives, and personal bias involved. Which makes for much complication. It is my feeling that the large amounts of money changing hands (for which people must fund raise) is one of the key factors leading to some of the more questionable practices.
If the current situation is a state rum orphanage that will throw the child out at 16, I think it's safe to say that 99.9 % of the adoptive homes will be better than haring no parents and being homeless.

I can't imagine anyone saying or thinking otherwise.

Your neighbors chose China - or China chose them. It's really their business not mine or yours.
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Old 09-21-2012, 09:54 PM
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
18,549 posts, read 23,056,992 times
Reputation: 48435
Quote:
Originally Posted by Three Wolves In Snow View Post
A 10 year old orphan in the Ukraine doesn't give a crap about your label of "marketability". All that kid cares about is that someone adopts him/her so he/she can have a home.

While you're busy arguing semantics, a kid, (or more), needs a home.
^^^^^^^^^ THIS!
Simple, short and well put.
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Old 09-26-2012, 09:44 AM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
55,317 posts, read 53,974,614 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sheena12 View Post
Craig the whale idea is ludicrous. Donating money, as you know is not they same as adapting a child.
Parents who adopt are under no responsibility to support anyone - other than their children.

I think this thread which is about the very legitimate issue of fund raising, a common event in the world of international adoption is being derailed.

Any other ideas ??? Any one?
Ask wealthy people for the money. Particularly celebrities who have adopted themselves. Hey, it can't hurt to ASK, right?
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Old 09-26-2012, 12:02 PM
 
10,362 posts, read 8,324,888 times
Reputation: 19087
Mightyqueen, there are some celebrities who support special needs adoptions financially and with matching funds. Patricia Heaton is a BIG supporter of Reece's Rainbow. Other celebrities have donated directly to poor orphanages, even when they were unable to adopt.

I think the general lack of awareness of just how bad conditions are in many orphanages and institutions in the developing world makes it easy for uninformed people of all economic levels to say, "Oh, we give to children's causes here at home, and charity should begin at home".

Perhaps, but should it also end there?
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