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Old 10-22-2012, 05:20 AM
 
Location: Lower east side of Toronto
10,586 posts, read 10,764,491 times
Reputation: 9292

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May as well start life off with the truth..secrets in this respect is all about the fantasy carried by the parent...You are not the parent of an adopted child- You are the ward and protector and keeper of that child...People say that adopted kids have more behavioral issues....of course they do...You really don't know what you have genetically and what they are genetically predisposed too.

It is very kind to raise a child that is not of your body...just remember...the real mother may have been a lunatic and the father might be someone who is genetically predisposed to criminality...so don't be surprised if your adopted child falls off the path on occasion...You can not fight genetics....you can curb and train the child..but the child is who they are..and that is were tolerance comes in........"I do not love them because they are good, I love them because they are my little child"

 
Old 10-22-2012, 07:12 AM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,484 posts, read 43,738,878 times
Reputation: 47257
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oleg Bach View Post
.You are not the parent of an adopted child- ......
That's the biggest load of crap I've ever heard!
 
Old 10-22-2012, 07:28 AM
 
1,879 posts, read 1,861,777 times
Reputation: 1462
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oleg Bach View Post
May as well start life off with the truth..secrets in this respect is all about the fantasy carried by the parent...You are not the parent of an adopted child- You are the ward and protector and keeper of that child...People say that adopted kids have more behavioral issues....of course they do...You really don't know what you have genetically and what they are genetically predisposed too.

It is very kind to raise a child that is not of your body...just remember...the real mother may have been a lunatic and the father might be someone who is genetically predisposed to criminality...so don't be surprised if your adopted child falls off the path on occasion...You can not fight genetics....you can curb and train the child..but the child is who they are..and that is were tolerance comes in........"I do not love them because they are good, I love them because they are my little child"
AAAAAH OOOOOG BLAAAAH Thump.

Sorry Oleg, that was my lunatic side coming out, hope you will forgive me - it seems my keepers didn't curb my tendencies enough. I'll just go now and have dinner - I have a lovely leg of "lamb" *wink wink* in my fridge (I don't think anyone has noticed that those homeless men I enticed to my apartment never left).

Apart from my "occasional falling off the path", I am a perfectly lovely person

Last edited by susankate; 10-22-2012 at 07:57 AM..
 
Old 10-22-2012, 07:33 AM
 
1,879 posts, read 1,861,777 times
Reputation: 1462
Quote:
Originally Posted by no kudzu View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oleg Bach .You are not the parent of an adopted child
That's the biggest load of crap I've ever heard!
No offence, No Kudzu, but you did make me giggle that you thought THAT particular part of Oleg's *delightful* post was the biggest load of crap you had ever heard.

Last edited by susankate; 10-22-2012 at 07:56 AM..
 
Old 10-22-2012, 08:23 AM
 
10,452 posts, read 10,624,444 times
Reputation: 12537
Quote:
Originally Posted by susankate View Post
AAAAAH OOOOOG BLAAAAH Thump.

Sorry Oleg, that was my lunatic side coming out, hope you will forgive me - it seems my keepers didn't curb my tendencies enough. I'll just go now and have dinner - I have a lovely leg of "lamb" *wink wink* in my fridge (I don't think anyone has noticed that those homeless men I enticed to my apartment never left).

Apart from my "occasional falling off the path", I am a perfectly lovely person
LOL I am dying of laughter here...

I just got finished with my blow-up doll myself...maybe we can have a blow-up doll parties...y'know, that's how us adoptees roll..... :P

(For those who are so biased they don't see the sarcasm in my post...I am not being serious!)
 
Old 10-22-2012, 08:42 AM
 
509 posts, read 484,112 times
Reputation: 747
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oleg Bach View Post
May as well start life off with the truth..secrets in this respect is all about the fantasy carried by the parent...You are not the parent of an adopted child- You are the ward and protector and keeper of that child...People say that adopted kids have more behavioral issues....of course they do...You really don't know what you have genetically and what they are genetically predisposed too.

It is very kind to raise a child that is not of your body...just remember...the real mother may have been a lunatic and the father might be someone who is genetically predisposed to criminality...so don't be surprised if your adopted child falls off the path on occasion...You can not fight genetics....you can curb and train the child..but the child is who they are..and that is were tolerance comes in........"I do not love them because they are good, I love them because they are my little child"
Wow.

So first off, I am my daughter's parent, not her ward. She has four patents- her first mom and dad and my husband and I.

Next, you make it sound like adopted children are damaged goods, and adopted parents are the kind benefactors who took pity on them.

Finally, you wrap up by saying that adoptees are wavering on the verge of normality and psychopathy. REALLY?! Because all adoptees are the children of lunatics and criminals, and we adoptive parents have to really guard them carefully because you never know when that genetic failure will rear it's ugly head.

I can only hope you wandered over here by mistake and are not a member of the adoption triad. Your viewpoint is so twisted and offensive and so incredibly far from the truth.
 
Old 10-22-2012, 08:52 AM
 
1,879 posts, read 1,861,777 times
Reputation: 1462
Quote:
Originally Posted by nimchimpsky View Post
LOL I am dying of laughter here...

I just got finished with my blow-up doll myself...maybe we can have a blow-up doll parties...y'know, that's how us adoptees roll..... :P

(For those who are so biased they don't see the sarcasm in my post...I am not being serious!)
Nim, stop all that talk about blow-up dolls, you're getting me mightily excited - I'm going to have to go and get "Marvin" out of his special box for a bit of "quality time".

So now you all know where I'll be for the next 8 hours.
 
Old 10-22-2012, 09:13 AM
 
393 posts, read 504,711 times
Reputation: 440
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oleg Bach View Post
May as well start life off with the truth..secrets in this respect is all about the fantasy carried by the parent...You are not the parent of an adopted child- You are the ward and protector and keeper of that child...People say that adopted kids have more behavioral issues....of course they do...You really don't know what you have genetically and what they are genetically predisposed too.

It is very kind to raise a child that is not of your body...just remember...the real mother may have been a lunatic and the father might be someone who is genetically predisposed to criminality...so don't be surprised if your adopted child falls off the path on occasion...You can not fight genetics....you can curb and train the child..but the child is who they are..and that is were tolerance comes in........"I do not love them because they are good, I love them because they are my little child"
Oleg - lets see if this makes any kind of sense to you...

Your statement here: "People say that adopted kids have more behavioral issues....of course they do...You really don't know what you have genetically and what they are genetically predisposed too." Is one of those kind of statements where people who think they are smart take two statements and assuming not only is that fact, but the only fact. By breaking apart the two statements combined you combined into one we could actually have a discussion...lets see.

People say that adopted kids have more behavioral issues....of course they do..." because the general order of life is mothers - mother - not give their babies away and babies don't understand why they were given away - that is one reason why a child may act out - they may feel they are bad - they may be sad - they may actually be hurting to the depths of their very soul that they lost their entire family. They also may have a hereditary mental illness (that also runs in a pretty fair percentage among the general population) that is the reason, or contributing concern. Your statement generalized something that is complex and multi-demensional.

"You really don't know what you have genetically and what they are genetically predisposed too." In many cases you don't know the genetics or genetic predisposition of the child - yet your tone suggests that only negative genetics is passed from parent to child, and that any positives shown in the child is solely a response to nurturing. Sorry to debunk that concept and how you could even hold that concept when family health history proves the opposite - makes me assume you didn't think that one through.

But where you really cross the line (and also shows your age by the way) is this statement - "the real mother may have been a lunatic and the father might be someone who is genetically predisposed to criminality". Newsflash - we as a society no longer believe that a women who became pregnant outside of marriage is automatically "feeble minded", "mentally deficient" or as you so nicely refer to her "a lunatic". Funny how the man automatically gets a pass from you on a mental health issues and instead you infer with words such as "might be" in saying - he can't help himself with those genes that predispose him to criminality. Really? The woman a lunatic - the man might have some genes that predispose him to criminality? Too funny - let me guess you are male? Again though - you only assume the negatives the genes may pass on instead of the positives - are we "borrowed" ones not likely to be smart enough? No positive genes passed on? No genius IQ's? That we were "thrown away" because we really weren't good enough to keep? You know - just trash...

P.s. - it's not the 1950's anymore...
 
Old 10-22-2012, 11:01 AM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,484 posts, read 43,738,878 times
Reputation: 47257
Oleg- you are so off base here. I don't know any adoptive parent who adopts to be "kind". How many times do we need to say it- we adopt to build our families- not charity, not kindness, not to get attention, not to be thought of as "good", not to have the latest accessory. We adopt for the same reason people get pregnant- we want families.
and yes adopted children should be told from the get go they are adopted. There is no shame in adopting or being adopted and keeping it a secret attaches shame.
 
Old 10-22-2012, 09:42 PM
 
1,879 posts, read 1,861,777 times
Reputation: 1462
Quote:
Originally Posted by Artful Dodger View Post

"You really don't know what you have genetically and what they are genetically predisposed too." In many cases you don't know the genetics or genetic predisposition of the child - yet your tone suggests that only negative genetics is passed from parent to child, and that any positives shown in the child is solely a response to nurturing. Sorry to debunk that concept and how you could even hold that concept when family health history proves the opposite - makes me assume you didn't think that one through.

But where you really cross the line (and also shows your age by the way) is this statement - "the real mother may have been a lunatic and the father might be someone who is genetically predisposed to criminality". Newsflash - we as a society no longer believe that a women who became pregnant outside of marriage is automatically "feeble minded", "mentally deficient" or as you so nicely refer to her "a lunatic". Funny how the man automatically gets a pass from you on a mental health issues and instead you infer with words such as "might be" in saying - he can't help himself with those genes that predispose him to criminality. Really? The woman a lunatic - the man might have some genes that predispose him to criminality? Too funny - let me guess you are male? Again though - you only assume the negatives the genes may pass on instead of the positives - are we "borrowed" ones not likely to be smart enough? No positive genes passed on? No genius IQ's? That we were "thrown away" because we really weren't good enough to keep? You know - just trash...

P.s. - it's not the 1950's anymore...
That's the thing that really gets me too is that even today, there seems to be an assumption that the negative parts of our personality are due to our genetics and the positive a response to nurturing.

Btw having now met my bfamily, I am pretty sure a lot of my better qualities are inherited qualities and I think that realising that has actually helped me as a person.
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