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Old 12-20-2012, 08:12 AM
 
42 posts, read 39,039 times
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Originally Posted by Dark of the Moon View Post
Kiva? I've made upwards of 25 micro-loans through them -- it's a great idea.
I love love love Kiva. Big puffy-heart love.
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Old 12-20-2012, 05:08 PM
 
16,674 posts, read 14,119,484 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Linmora View Post
Thanks for the honest answer. Interesting to read other viewpoints and to see where they are coming from. You and I have a different view on life although I think we both agree that the welfare of child is of vital importance. As I've said before, I hope that Russia sort through these issues. As you say, it is their decision. I pray that should this happen, they do the right thing lest the children suffer.
And there are plenty of children suffering here in this country. Many of them adoptable. So if it really about the suffering of the children, there is a lot to be done at home. Maybe we should take care of our own and not bash other countries for failing to do the same things we do.

Quote:
In response to what I bolded though. No I'm not expecting that the Russian government will send social workers personally to my house. You made me giggle a bit because that is just silly (although one article did mention visits which I found interesting). I'm just saying I wish that they could have a hypothetic peek into my house to see how my kids are doing. I'm super proud of my children and I wish that I could share some of that with critics of foreign adoptions. Of course I know it won't happen.....please don't take me so literally... I will correct you on one thing--we were required for three years to provide homestudies that were translated, notarized and apostilled, and sent back to Russia with pictures. So after our adoption, we had three more home visits with social worker. In a way, they did get a peek into our house, albeit through a US social worker. Not sure if this happens in domestic or adoptions from other countries. It was a requirement for us and we happily complied.



Finally, point out posts by adoptive parents that describe themselves as saintly. I'm certainly not and if I've claimed sainthood on any other thread, I must had too many glasses of wine. On the contrary--some days I feel like pulling my hair out. My husband and I had other days asking ourselves we if did the right thing and if we the right parent for our daugther. I've cried at school meetings, with friends, in front of my kids. No ikb, I'm certainly not a saint nor have I had anyone say that to me for being an adoptee parent. I've had to correct a few people telling me "how lucky my kids are." Nah, I'm the lucky one and I feel fortunate that we can provide them a better situation than what they had. I have also asked my daughter's therapist how I'm doing as an adoptee parent---Am I addressing my kid's needs adequantly? How do we address adoptions issues? Our therapist, an adoptee herself, has given us great advice and when she tells us that we are doing just fine, that gives me comfort. I'm trying my best as a parent and I'm sure that we will have many more bumps along the way. Sainthood? Hell no. I'm just floundering along like most other parents, biological or adoptive.
Many posts have been deleted, edited and pushed down the forum. I know of at least three threads where people tried to pretend APs are some how better people for choosing to adopt. I know Tiffjoy, and Nokudzu, quickly disabused others of their potential sainthood. If you want to find them, go look, I am not going to play hijack the thread.

Quote:
I will leave you with one thought. If anyone needs a bit pat on the back, I will pat my daughter on the back and tell you how proud I am of her making the progress she has. She had some huge challenges to overcome and I have great hopes for her future. Time will tell as we continue to try our best. My son was fortunate to be adopted at a younger age so while he has a few institution related issues, he has fared much better.

Again, offering a bit more perspective and response to a few of your comments, especially the one about sainthood which is quite unfair actually.
I have seen it multiple times during the three or four month maximum I have been on this particular sub forum. Either way, you have ignored the rest of the post. Russia has the right to address a system in which their citizens have been abused or worse and no one is entitled to adopt anyone let alone citizens of another nation.
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Old 12-20-2012, 08:13 PM
 
Location: State Fire and Ice
3,101 posts, read 4,566,850 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Linmora View Post
So why are there so many children waiting in orphanages over there in Russia turned down by Russian adoptive parents? They had their chance. If the majority of kids could find adoptive homes within the Russian system, great. Unfortunately reality says otherwise. That is why they become available for adoption to foreigners, and just not Americans.

If your attitude is one that the majority of Russians share about their children adopted to Americans, I truly feel sorry for you.
I am opposed to the adoption of Russian children by Americans. and it's not even American parents themselves (although we all know about the many cases of child abuse) The fact is that the U.S. government refers to these children not as citizens of America.
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Old 12-20-2012, 08:24 PM
 
Location: State Fire and Ice
3,101 posts, read 4,566,850 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Linmora View Post
I agree with you on having checks and balances and making sure that "bad parents" don't slip though the cracks and get approved. It does happen and when there is a tragedy involving the death of an adopted child, it makes the news and then countries are swift to react. Even if parents are carefully screened, unfortunate events still can happen. You can't prevent or anticipate everything that a biological/adoptive parent will do. People will always make knuckleheaded mistakes or do some truly evil things to their children. When it involves an adoptive parent though, this has more of a chance to make the news and add to the generally anti American sentiment that already exists overseas. Or just make adoptive parents look bad in general. What generally gets overlooked are the multitudes of adoptive parents that are doing their best, trying their best to give their children a happy and loving home. The positive stories usually get buried and the media, foreign and domestic, usually latch onto the ugly parts.

It's a shame since this will further delay or completely close the process of finding these children homes. If the Russians feel so passionately about this, then get these kids into good Russian homes or put money towards a well funded foster care environment. Make it easy for Russians to adopt these children. It is easy to protest and flail one's arms about. Actually finding homes for these children is a bit more difficult. My kids were on a national registry and the Russians had their chance. In fact, this is what added to our waiting period. Unfortunately, no Russians expressed any interest. A few looked, they all declined.
You know I can tell you everything that you have said here is exactly the opposite of American media in relation to Russia. As for the America, you are wrong! One - Two cases of an accident and three more this is the system, so think what you said. It's not the Russian government. The point is the U.S. government. I have often said that even foreign journalists working in Russia always write false news about it openly and plainly, not hiding it. For the reason that the news very well differ in America and abroad in general. problems in the U.S. government does not have a pair of eyes open and remove colored glasses?..
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Old 12-21-2012, 06:52 AM
 
16,674 posts, read 14,119,484 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GreyKarast View Post
I am opposed to the adoption of Russian children by Americans. and it's not even American parents themselves (although we all know about the many cases of child abuse) The fact is that the U.S. government refers to these children not as citizens of America.
I have a relative who adopted from Russia, and her daughter most certainly IS an American citizen. She has a blue US passport, that is different in no way from any other American passport.

Adopted children are not treated any differently than any other citizen born abroad.
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Old 12-21-2012, 07:57 AM
 
Location: Dubai
34 posts, read 40,838 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sheena12 View Post
There is an anti-American sentiment that lingers long after the Cold War in all of the former USSR countries. And, we have the dubious and horrible distinction of being the only foreign country that adopts from Russia that has beaten several children to death and in one case, sent the child back to Russia!

Russia and other E.E. countries also have a tabloid press that rivals that of Great Britain. Because they can not wrap their heads around the idea that people, unrelated by blood or ethnicity, could ever love a child as their own, there are all sorts of outlandish tales believed by even well educated Russians and Ukrainians.

One is that the children are being adopted so that their organs can be harvested! The other is that they will be eaten.
This is such a skewed, and outright negative view of Russia and Eastern European. The amount of generalization is just absurd.

C'mon ppl...
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Old 12-21-2012, 08:50 AM
 
10,532 posts, read 8,463,997 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GreyKarast View Post
I am opposed to the adoption of Russian children by Americans. and it's not even American parents themselves (although we all know about the many cases of child abuse) The fact is that the U.S. government refers to these children not as citizens of America.


You are mistaken. Children who are adopted by American parents become American citizens as soon as they touch American soil, and have all the rights and privileges of any other American citizens (other than running for president, oddly enough).

Children adopted from certain countries retain dual citizenship until they turn eighteen, at which time they must choose their nationality.

"Many cases of child abuse?" I think you'll find that the percentage of children adopted from Russia who are abused by their adoptive parents is far, far lower than the percentage of children in the general population who are abused. In both cases, it's deplorable and any child who is abused should be promptly removed from any situation which endangers him or her.

I just read that Putin wants to increase birthrates in Russia, so that the average number of children in each family reaches three. What is he doing to encourage Russian citizens to adopt the thousands and thousands of children, many with special needs or older children, who are currently living in Russia's many orphanages and institutions? Until he does more to help these existing Russian children who are in desperate need of families and homes, why encourage families, many of whom are struggling financially, to have more biological children than they are able to support comfortably??
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Old 12-21-2012, 08:54 AM
 
10,532 posts, read 8,463,997 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DesertKate View Post
This is such a skewed, and outright negative view of Russia and Eastern European. The amount of generalization is just absurd. C'mon, people

No. I have read many, many times of the seemingly unstoppable rumor of children from various Eastern European countries being adopted by Americans for their body parts frightening older children into refusing adoption, in places like Russia and Ukraine. Unfortunately, this preposterous legend lives on, and is taken seriously by far too many gullible people.

Last edited by Green Irish Eyes; 12-21-2012 at 09:09 AM.. Reason: Just fixed the quote code
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Old 12-21-2012, 08:58 AM
 
10,532 posts, read 8,463,997 times
Reputation: 19291
Quote:
Originally Posted by GreyKarast View Post
You know I can tell you everything that you have said here is exactly the opposite of American media in relation to Russia. As for the America, you are wrong! One - Two cases of an accident and three more this is the system, so think what you said. It's not the Russian government. The point is the U.S. government. I have often said that even foreign journalists working in Russia always write false news about it openly and plainly, not hiding it. For the reason that the news very well differ in America and abroad in general. problems in the U.S. government does not have a pair of eyes open and remove colored glasses?..
I cannot understand the points you are trying to make. Can you clarify, please?? Are you saying that Russian journalists and journalists working in Russia deliberately write false stories about the U.S. government? Who should remove the (probably rose) "colored glasses"? Readers of the Russian media, or the journalists, or the Russian or U.S. government? To what are you referring in regard to "two cases of an accident and three more this is the system"? I cannot make heads or tails of whatever points you're attempting to make here.
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Old 12-21-2012, 09:01 AM
 
18,852 posts, read 31,772,636 times
Reputation: 26119
Okay. They can keep the kids. We have plenty of American children who need placement.

Why "threaten"? In the end, it does not help Russia, or the kids. That is the sad part, not looking at the big picture, and magnifying a few minor incidents.
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