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Old 12-31-2012, 07:38 AM
 
9,213 posts, read 9,286,664 times
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Quote:
Like Dark, I'd like to know in what ways you felt you were "blocked" from adopting domestically. Please enlighten us.
Don't be deliberately obtuse, Susan.

You know very well what most of us are talking about. In my own situation, it took my wife and I nine years to adopt two infants and that's here in Utah that's gets so much bad press as being "an adoption mill".

No, we weren't blocked in the sense that there was a law or regulation that prohibited us from seeking to adopt. The barrier today is primarily the fact that in the USA comparatively few children are placed for adoption.

I accept that fact. We made a choice. Ultimately, our choice to pursue domestic adoption worked out for us, although I was 39 going on 40 when we completed our last adoption. We had to go to endless workshops, seminars, interviews, and even counseling sessions to receive clearance to adopt from an agency. I'm not saying its necessarily wrong, but our personal life was sifted through in a way most people can't imagine. The "inadequate home studies" that I've heard some people mention here did not apply to us. By the time they were done there was virtually no fact about me that was not known by the adoption agencies we worked with. In retrospect, I don't complain about it. Its just the way it is. However, I can easily imagine the frustrations of a couple going through all that today to be told "its very iffy" if there will ever be a child placed with them.

Based on that, I easily see how couples choose to go to places China, Russia, and Ethiopia where adoption at least "has been" more certain in the past.

If the object most people have when they adopt is to build a family, its nice to be able to do it in a way that you know you'll eventually reach your goal. That's far from certain in the USA. Its more certain (or at least it has been) if you go overseas.
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Old 12-31-2012, 08:36 AM
 
11,151 posts, read 14,154,562 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by markg91359 View Post
Don't be deliberately obtuse, Susan.

You know very well what most of us are talking about. In my own situation, it took my wife and I nine years to adopt two infants and that's here in Utah that's gets so much bad press as being "an adoption mill".

No, we weren't blocked in the sense that there was a law or regulation that prohibited us from seeking to adopt. The barrier today is primarily the fact that in the USA comparatively few children are placed for adoption.

I don't think she's being obtuse -- you're simply talking about different issues. In your case, it's a scarcity of infant children available for adoption in the U.S. However, the OP states there are actually laws in place which "force" would-be parents to adopt internationally.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Dopo View Post
Outrage over Russia's adoption ban...
Where's the outrage over US adoption laws?

The news media loves to point the finger at other countries
Personally, I really don't give a ..... about any law passed in Russia.
But why is it that the news media in the US doesn't point the finger to American adoption system that forces Americans to adopt kids from other countries?

We're just asking what those laws are?
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Old 12-31-2012, 09:16 AM
 
509 posts, read 484,580 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dark of the Moon View Post
I don't think she's being obtuse -- you're simply talking about different issues. In your case, it's a scarcity of infant children available for adoption in the U.S. However, the OP states there are actually laws in place which "force" would-be parents to adopt internationally.





We're just asking what those laws are?
I'd like clarification as well. I'm confused by the OP- no one is forced to adopt internationally or domestically. My first thought when I read the OP was that the poster is upset more American children aren't available for immediate adoption with less effort, but I don't think that's what they met. If that is what is meant, that seems very wrong to me.

Adoption is a roll of the dice. Some people start the process and it takes years and many failed matches. Others start and are matched almost right away and everything works out. In our case, we didn't even finish the initial process before we met someone and adopted a couple days later. But I see that as no different than having a biological child. Some people get pregnancy right away. Others try for years and face many difficulties before they give birth. There are no means of changing this because it is the emoms right to choose placement. Children don't just go to the next in line- in almost all cases, they go to the family if the emoms choosing, as is her right. Foster care adoptions are totally different. In that case, rights must be terminated and yes, this takes time as the purpose of foster care is always to try to reunite families whenever possible.

No, adoption is not easy. Not should it be, quite frankly. There should be a degree of effort involved in obtaining a child because all this effort is what is meant to protect that child. The home studies, the background checks, the post placement interviews- these are checks and balances meant to ensure a child is safe and loved.

I would like to know what the OP would propose be done to make things "easier?"
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Old 12-31-2012, 10:17 AM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
56,180 posts, read 54,646,759 times
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Originally Posted by psr13 View Post
Our international adoption will most likely take about seven or eight months.
My sister's adoption of my niece (in NJ) took about nine months--just like having a baby. Of course, her baby was eight weeks old when she came to live with her.
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Old 12-31-2012, 10:46 AM
 
15,558 posts, read 13,555,088 times
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Originally Posted by psr13 View Post
Last time I checked, the Constitution didn't give the federal government the right to govern adoption.
The federal government could use the commerce clause to make a case for jurisdiction.
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Old 12-31-2012, 11:11 AM
 
Location: Soldotna
2,268 posts, read 1,807,116 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by boxus View Post
The federal government could use the commerce clause to make a case for jurisdiction.
They use that to excuse everything they do...
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Old 12-31-2012, 05:09 PM
 
1,097 posts, read 1,734,973 times
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Making adoption ethics easier to monitor by having standardized basic policies would go a ways toward making the process more transparent, which I think would be all for the good.

If adoptions are across state lines in any way then laws should be standardized. If that means federal oversight, so be it.

Last edited by nj185; 12-31-2012 at 06:24 PM..
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Old 12-31-2012, 05:20 PM
 
Location: New York State, USA
142 posts, read 212,346 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nj185 View Post
Making adoption ethics easier to monitor by having standardized basic policies would go a ways toward making the process more transparent, which I think would be all for the good.

If adoptions are across state lines in any way than laws should be standardized. If that means federal oversight, so be it.
That's what I'd like to see, for the good of everyone. Not that I want government into our personal lives, but there is no uniformity, no standardization.
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Old 12-31-2012, 08:00 PM
 
1,879 posts, read 1,864,327 times
Reputation: 1462
Quote:
Originally Posted by nj185 View Post
Making adoption ethics easier to monitor by having standardized basic policies would go a ways toward making the process more transparent, which I think would be all for the good.

If adoptions are across state lines in any way then laws should be standardized. If that means federal oversight, so be it.
I agree.
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Old 12-31-2012, 08:37 PM
 
1,879 posts, read 1,864,327 times
Reputation: 1462
Quote:
Originally Posted by markg91359 View Post
Don't be deliberately obtuse, Susan.

You know very well what most of us are talking about. In my own situation, it took my wife and I nine years to adopt two infants and that's here in Utah that's gets so much bad press as being "an adoption mill".

No, we weren't blocked in the sense that there was a law or regulation that prohibited us from seeking to adopt. The barrier today is primarily the fact that in the USA comparatively few children are placed for adoption.

I accept that fact. We made a choice. Ultimately, our choice to pursue domestic adoption worked out for us, although I was 39 going on 40 when we completed our last adoption. We had to go to endless workshops, seminars, interviews, and even counseling sessions to receive clearance to adopt from an agency. I'm not saying its necessarily wrong, but our personal life was sifted through in a way most people can't imagine. The "inadequate home studies" that I've heard some people mention here did not apply to us. By the time they were done there was virtually no fact about me that was not known by the adoption agencies we worked with. In retrospect, I don't complain about it. Its just the way it is. However, I can easily imagine the frustrations of a couple going through all that today to be told "its very iffy" if there will ever be a child placed with them.

Based on that, I easily see how couples choose to go to places China, Russia, and Ethiopia where adoption at least "has been" more certain in the past.

If the object most people have when they adopt is to build a family, its nice to be able to do it in a way that you know you'll eventually reach your goal. That's far from certain in the USA. Its more certain (or at least it has been) if you go overseas.
Actually, I wasn't being "deliberately obtuse", One - like others I am confused about actual laws that prevented the OP or anonymousseX from adopting and 2) I have no idea if the OP was talking about domestic infant adoption or foster care adoption (which many people actually do have a problem with).

The barrier today is primarily the fact that in the USA comparatively few children are placed for adoption.

That is the usual situation in wealthy countries. In fact, the US is doing far more than any country to make sure that their young women relinquish their children than any other Western country so you can hardly complain.

As for all the home studies you went through, surely one has to go through that for international adoptions as well? If not, they should be as thorough as yours.
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