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Old 01-19-2013, 07:30 AM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,470 posts, read 43,466,032 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaded View Post
Let us not allude to why depression occurs, just list resources and personal experiences.
We can allude all we want. You are not in charge of this forum or this thread or this topic. The whole purpose of this forum and all others is to give opinion and to allude till the cows come home.
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Old 01-19-2013, 11:31 AM
 
47,576 posts, read 60,395,188 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thethreefoldme View Post
My brother & I were both adopted as infants & my parents, especially my mother experienced this. I think that potential adoptive parents often assume that adopting a baby will somehow prevent them from experiencing certain challenges, when it actually does not.

As many of you know the adoption process can be fraught with an abnormal amount of anxiety & stress, followed by an enormous high when you finally get to take your child home for the first time. It isn't uncommon for an intense high & pro-longed period of anxiety to be followed by an intense low once the dust has settled. There also is not the benefit of genetic mirroring & for mothers nine months of hormone changes that help them naturally bond with their babies.

& like Malamute said;
Yes, I would think there is potential for depression with both infants and older children. Infants get hungry during the night and cry and wake up their parents. The parents may be both stressed and exhausted. Plus adopted infants very likely are at least somewhat stressed themselves especially if they spent some time in a foster home and then were moved again upon being adopted.

Older kids would be an obvious stress -- they've got some more issues. One of my cousins was from an intact family that couldn't handle all their kids and put the two youngest in foster homes, not even the same one and so he first had the stress as a very young child of not seeing his brothers any more, and then he was adopted at almost age 5 and missed his foster home family.

He really had few issues except he would intentionally break toys so my aunt and uncle had to replace a lot of toys for a while so that other parents would let him play with their kids so he could have friends. He turned out very well -- he's very successful and has a lot of kids and a marriage that worked. I think there was some stress for his family during the adjusstment period, he also had an older also adopted sister that was used to being an only child who had to adapt to having a sibling for the first time.

Postnatal depression is accepted but I suspect that adopted parents don't get the same empathy because after all, they wanted the adoption. Birth parents also have a OBGYN involved, some post-maternity medical care where the issue can be addressed, also probably have a few more offers of babysitting to get them some relief that maybe adopting parents don't receive.
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Old 01-19-2013, 04:37 PM
 
1,851 posts, read 2,977,213 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by no kudzu View Post
We can allude all we want. You are not in charge of this forum or this thread or this topic. The whole purpose of this forum and all others is to give opinion and to allude till the cows come home.
Seriously? What I meant was can we ALL refrain from "analysis paralysis" at least this one time. Calm down. No one is in charge of anything, geeze.
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Old 01-19-2013, 04:47 PM
 
1,851 posts, read 2,977,213 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by malamute View Post
Yes, I would think there is potential for depression with both infants and older children. Infants get hungry during the night and cry and wake up their parents. The parents may be both stressed and exhausted. Plus adopted infants very likely are at least somewhat stressed themselves especially if they spent some time in a foster home and then were moved again upon being adopted.

Postnatal depression is accepted but I suspect that adopted parents don't get the same empathy because after all, they wanted the adoption. Birth parents also have a OBGYN involved, some post-maternity medical care where the issue can be addressed, also probably have a few more offers of babysitting to get them some relief that maybe adopting parents don't receive.
Yes, in PPD there are doctors involved and readily at the mother's and father's disposal. But when you break it down as you have, when an AP adopts an infant, they will have the same as or more stress and exhaustion than BPs but not as much support.
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Old 01-19-2013, 04:49 PM
 
1,851 posts, read 2,977,213 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thethreefoldme View Post
No need to be dismissive, the OP did not specify parameters of this discussion. I posted my personal experience as an adult adoptee who was raised by adoptive parents who went through this.
Wasn't being dismissive. Your example was great.
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Old 01-20-2013, 06:12 AM
 
1,024 posts, read 982,728 times
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I think it is interesting that this is often limited to the experience of the adoptive mother &/or father, but that adoptees actually experience post-adoption depression as well. Also the biological family who lost a family member, & siblings in the adoptive family who are adjusting to a new family member as well.
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Old 01-20-2013, 03:44 PM
 
1,879 posts, read 1,851,999 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaded View Post
Wasn't being dismissive. Your example was great.
Your post was immediately below threefoldme so of course she felt dismissed by your comment.

If you weren't alluding to her post, then specify which post you were alluding to.
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Old 01-20-2013, 07:53 PM
 
1,851 posts, read 2,977,213 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thethreefoldme View Post
I think it is interesting that this is often limited to the experience of the adoptive mother &/or father, but that adoptees actually experience post-adoption depression as well. Also the biological family who lost a family member, & siblings in the adoptive family who are adjusting to a new family member as well.
Yes, it should be expanded. I think all parties involved should be made aware of their vulnerabilities.
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Old 01-20-2013, 07:58 PM
 
1,851 posts, read 2,977,213 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by susankate View Post
Your post was immediately below threefoldme so of course she felt dismissed by your comment.

If you weren't alluding to her post, then specify which post you were alluding to.
No one post in particular. In general. What I should have said was "including myself." This topic is important and if everyone contributes legitimate resources we can all learn from them. I literally meant "us" as in "all of us." I've sent Threefold a DM about my comment. It was misleading.
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Old 01-22-2013, 01:14 AM
 
1,851 posts, read 2,977,213 times
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Arrow Another good link

This is from the US Dept of Health and Human Services:

https://www.childwelfare.gov/adoptio...depression.cfm

Contains additional multiple links...
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