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Old 01-16-2013, 08:58 AM
 
125 posts, read 131,276 times
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They put together a commission to study abuse in adopted families. I read the report. No, they could not answer the question you posed. And yet they suggested having more requirements and training for homestudy providers, etc., because any abuse is too much. Are you saying that abuse, if it occurs in the same rate as biological families, or less, is all right?

I am not saying that most, or many adoptive families are abusive, and neither is the report. But the horrific cases around describe say that there is something wrong in the way that adoptive parents are approved: adoptive families are supposed to be more safe, aren't they? You are just born into a biological family, and good luck to you there. Adoptive families are meant to be screened.

There is something wrong with the system of approving parents, and the report acknowledged this and suggested changes.
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Old 01-16-2013, 09:18 AM
 
1,516 posts, read 1,837,547 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MirrenC View Post
They put together a commission to study abuse in adopted families. I read the report. No, they could not answer the question you posed. And yet they suggested having more requirements and training for homestudy providers, etc., because any abuse is too much. Are you saying that abuse, if it occurs in the same rate as biological families, or less, is all right?

I am not saying that most, or many adoptive families are abusive, and neither is the report. But the horrific cases around describe say that there is something wrong in the way that adoptive parents are approved: adoptive families are supposed to be more safe, aren't they? You are just born into a biological family, and good luck to you there. Adoptive families are meant to be screened.

There is something wrong with the system of approving parents, and the report acknowledged this and suggested changes.
Come on now. Don't strawman me. Of course abuse is not acceptable in any family. I'm not sure how you are reading that into what I wrote, lol. There are certainly improvements that should be made and this Washington study would be a great way to implement some much needed changes. I'm not arguing with you or anyone on this study. Their recommendations would go a long ways to helping the children and adoptive families.

What I don't like are "facts" being thrown around, especially on this board, that abuse is higher in adoptive families citing this particular study. Perhaps other studies have pointed to this fact and I would be interested in reading them. If anyone can dig them up, let's discuss.

Or perhaps since we are veering offtopic again, Dark could start a whole new thread topic about abuse in adoptive families. I'm sure that will give her many happy board moddiing moments....
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Old 01-16-2013, 09:20 AM
 
11,151 posts, read 14,103,929 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Linmora View Post
Or perhaps since we are veering offtopic again, Dark could start a whole new thread topic about abuse in adoptive families. I'm sure that will give her many happy board moddiing moments....


I just did .....
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Old 01-16-2013, 09:24 AM
 
1,516 posts, read 1,837,547 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dark of the Moon View Post
I just did .....
Thanks Dark!! This will be an interesting thread to say the least.
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Old 01-16-2013, 09:26 AM
 
393 posts, read 502,995 times
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Linmora,

Quote:
Not sure if I understand your last comment about adoption issues being swept under the rug.
What I never see / can't remember seeing - is in the case of biological parenting and abuse is the automatic shout out of "what about all the biological parents who don't abuse their children" or the call for "positive stories about children raised in biological families". I see that attitude here, and elsewhere because "adoption" needs to be protected. (and I can understand the knee-jerk reason)

This need to refute (sweep under the rug) any critique of the adoption is seem in this statement by Tom DeFilippo of JCICS...and the stories within the article about the successful adoptions that happen. Specifically by the choice to use the "only about 19 serious incidents of abuse or death out of 50,000 adoptions" with the downplay in using the words only about...as in not to worry - the most do just fine attitude.

Russian orphan reaches D.C. home just as Moscow bans further U.S. adoptions - The Washington Post

Quote:
“There were only about 19 serious incidents of abuse or death out of 50,000 adoptions,” said Tom de Filippo, an official with the Joint Council on International Children’s Services in Alexandria. Moreover, he said, many American families were willing to take in older, troubled or disabled children that Russians did not want to adopt. “What drove this ban was simply nationalism,” he said.
Hopefully that explains what I mean.
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Old 01-16-2013, 09:29 AM
 
125 posts, read 131,276 times
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I didn't throw any facts around, merely cited some horrible cases that shouldn't have happened, in my opinion. Abuse happens, and to say that abuse happens in all families is true. Many people, when posed with what to do with abuse in adoptive families, merely seem to say, "Well, it happens in biological families, too." That's not good enough. Or, "Some people will abuse, no matter what." Maybe so, but then we need to figure out a better way to keep kids away from them.

I keep thinking about adoption being this promise of a "better" life, but that's not "better." It gets back to it only being different, and possibly much worse.

Abuse is tragic. I don't think it should happen in adoptive families to the degree it does (it shouldn't happen at all), especially when biological children in the same families are untouched. There is something very wrong in the parental screening process.
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Old 01-16-2013, 09:48 AM
 
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An interesting but inconclusive look at this topic.

Russian adoption ban: Are children adopted from other countries more likely to be maltreated than other children? - Slate Magazine
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Old 01-16-2013, 10:13 AM
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
18,572 posts, read 23,077,363 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Linmora View Post
Okay folks, I really have to comment on this one. I think that several of you probably need to reread this Washington report since some erroneous statements are being made for the sake of arguing. The title is a bit misleading---"Severe Abuse of Adopted Children." If one had not read the report, it would be easy to jump to the conclusion that adopted children are often abused. I would probably retitle it since it really does address some problems in adoption including a bit of adoption reform that that is discussed quite frequently on these boards. The report was excellent...well balanced in my opinion. I think that the work group did an excellent job and I would support all of their recommendations. They are looking out for the interests of the children. They are also very sensitive to adoptive families and getting them support. It also discusses the homestudy process which I found most enlightening. 100% agree with what they are recommending.

A few things, I keep seeing references made to this report stating that adopted children are much more likely to be abused. Let me direct you to page 6: "Are abuse and neglect, including withholding food, on the rise, and are they more prevalent in adoptive families?"

Finding: Generally, adoption is a protective factor with respect to child abuse and neglect. The work group is not aware of specific studies that address the prevalence of starvation and serious abuse and neglect of adopted children. Cases of serious starvation are actually quite rare. However, the potential for abuse and neglect increases when an adoptive family is ill prepared and/or ill matched with a child who suffers froom unidentified and/or untreated trauma, abuse and/or neglect.

Again this is reiterated in page 8. "Rates of abuse are not elevated for adoptive families compared to biological famiilies. Instead, it seems the highest risk of abuse is with the presence of a step-parent."

Again, please reread this report. It is quite comphrensive and I would suspect that many adoptive parents would concur with what the report is saying. I certainly am all in favor of having better support for adoptive parents. The report nails it. Some adoptive famiilies are very ill prepared to deal with a host of issues. I can speak from experience on this one parenting a child with significant issues. It is VERY tough and I'm glad to see this report addressing these issues.


The unfortunate title of this excellent report belies it's findings. It is easy for anti adoption forces to take the title alone, sensationalize it, ignoring the findings contained within the report.I do not disagree with any of the information contained therein.

It provides additional support to previous mainstream sociological studies that parents who adopt are in no way more inclined to abuse their children and by extenuation, that adoptive families are, if anything a protective factor as to the welfare of children.

This report once again underscores the prevalence of abuse and risk to children who live in homes with an adult who is connected to the child's biological parent by virtue of a sexual partnership, but is not directly connected to, or interested in, the child or the child's welfare.

This situation occurs most frequently with a young, mother who is undereducated and ill prepared for parenthood, and in the presence of a boy friend, common law or marital step parent.Less frequently it is the fathers love interest that is the abuser, but this situation this occurs as well.

It makes me wonder if there should not be a home study required when a tangential adult figure enters the home of a child through a relationship with one of the child's parents. Children in this situation seem most seriously at risk for abuse.

A step parent is not an adoptive parent.Let us be clear about this. It is in fact, step parenting is a perfect example of "parenting" with no interest of the child. The primary interest is in the child's parent.The child comes along for the ride, so to speak and is fortunate if he is tolerated and not neglected or abused by the step parent. Not all step parents are deleterious to the lives of children, but sadly, many are. This report supports this.

This contrasts sharply with adoption, where one or two adults seek to raise, love, nurture and support a child. A planned and conscious decision, as opposed to an accident or the result of an emotional or sexual connection with a biological parent.
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Old 01-16-2013, 10:20 AM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,470 posts, read 43,490,594 times
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Very true Sheena. And I am a step mother but of course I never adopted my husband's children because they had a wonderful mother already.

How many times do we read about boyfriends or common law husbands who maim children while the mother is off at work? Truly sad. This study is so badly titled it almost seems deliberate.

I have been trying to find updated info about the PA couple Douglas and Kristin Barbour. But don't see anything past October. It looks like they are out on bail, have supervised visits with their biological children but no contact with their adopted kids. Where are the kids? This has to be one of the sadest stories I've ever read about child abuse.
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Old 01-16-2013, 10:43 AM
 
393 posts, read 502,995 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by no kudzu View Post
Very true Sheena. And I am a step mother but of course I never adopted my husband's children because they had a wonderful mother already.

How many times do we read about boyfriends or common law husbands who maim children while the mother is off at work? Truly sad. This study is so badly titled it almost seems deliberate.

I have been trying to find updated info about the PA couple Douglas and Kristin Barbour. But don't see anything past October. It looks like they are out on bail, have supervised visits with their biological children but no contact with their adopted kids. Where are the kids? This has to be one of the sadest stories I've ever read about child abuse.
No Kudzu,

Re your question - the children are in foster care. And that is a very sad case indeed...similar in fact to the cases that caused Washington state to order the study you feel is so badly titled (?)...that was in part instigated by this case. Quote of one of the cases contained inside the the report linked on page one of this thread.

Quote:
Adoptive parents of TJ, NJ, GJ and MJ were licensed foster parents in Washington State for six years and the children were adopted in Washington State.

13 year-old TJ was taken to the emergency room and was severely malnourished, hypothermic and weighed 49 pounds. He also had 2 broken ribs and evidence of healed rib fractures and a very low body temperature. Three other adopted siblings were also malnourished. TJ disclosed:

  • Getting in trouble for stealing food.
  • Not getting enough to eat. There were days when they would get nothing to eat but a piece of bread and their stomachs would hurt. TJ ate dog food and was forced to drink his own urine.
  • Not being allowed to go to the bathroom unsupervised and often wetting his bed because he did not like going to the bathroom supervised. He was made to wash the bedding outside in extreme temperatures. He was made to stand in the middle of the living room on a plastic bag and would urinate on himself when not given permission to use the bathroom.
  • Not given warm clothing to wear in cold weather.
  • Not being allowed to eat when the other children would eat.
  • Being locked out of house on the porch as a form of punishment and had cold water poured on them if they made noise
  • All of the children were home schooled, had little outside interaction and were socially isolated.
  • Child was spanked with paddle, sometimes until he bled.
  • Family has biological children that were not treated in this way.
The adoptive parents have been criminally charged and there is a no contact order with the children in effect.
This is what the outcome of the criminal charge was.

Parents found guilty in Longview starving kids case | KATU.com - Portland News, Sports, Traffic Weather and Breaking News - Portland, Oregon | - Portland, Oregon | Local & Regional

The report was about severe abuse cases that occurred in Washington State to children who were adopted.
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