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I think it is really important for everyone to recognize the myth that teenagers are the majority let alone a plurality of birthmothers in this country.
In reality the median birthmother is mid twenties. Only 1/4 of relinquishments are from teens, and nearly 40% are from women over 25.
It is very important to know what adoption IS if we are going to discuss it. And for the vast majority of adoption it is clearly not a two parent family vs. a 15yo.
Do most people think birthmothers are mostly teenagers? I've never thought that but I guess that is the stereotype. While my son's birthmother was in fact a 15yr old at the time of his birth, both of my husband's birthparents were college students as well both of my cousins' birthmothers.
Here's some additional studies that clearly debunk the myths that perpetuate teenage bmom stereotypes.
Quote:
Who Are the Women Who Place Their Children?
Other than the NSFG data on mother's race, information about who relinquishes a child for adoption is limited, in part because relinquishment is rare and the numbers are so small.
Most research focuses on unmarried teens who relinquish a child. In addition to being disproportionately White, those who relinquish tend to have higher education and income levels, higher future career and educational aspirations, and a strong preference for adoption expressed by the teen's mother and/or the birth father (Miller & Coyl, 2000).
Namerow, Kalmuss, and Cushman (1993) studied 592 unmarried pregnant women age 21 or younger. The sample was selected from maternity residences, clinics, and teen pregnancy programs or adoption agencies. Postbirth interviews with 527 of the teens showed that those who had personal experience with adoption or had spent time at a maternity residence were more likely to relinquish. The choice to relinquish was also heavily influenced by the preference of the teens' mothers and boyfriends.
A study of 162 pregnant teens residing in a maternity home found that birth fathers' preference for adoption was the most powerful predictor of the mothers' consistency in their decision to relinquish (Dworkin, Harding, & Schreiber, 1993).
One study at a residential facility for pregnant teens found that a disproportionate number of those who relinquished were from upper-middle-class families, living in the suburbs or small cities, and from intact families with highly educated parents (Moore & Davidson, 2002). The 178 teens studied were heavily influenced in their decisions to relinquish by peers and siblings and by having personal experience with adoption (knowing someone who was adopted or being adopted themselves).
I'm not too impressed with studies done in 1993 or even in 2002. This does not mean that I know how old most relinquishing birth mothers are. Whatever their age or education or marital circumstances it is clear they are women who felt they are not prepared to parent. I also maintain teens are not good marital or parent material.
While this picture is bleak, the outcomes for the children of teen mothers are even worse. The children of teen mothers are more likely to have contact with the child welfare and criminal justice systems than children born to older mothers. Compared to 81 percent of children with older parents, only two-thirds of the children of teens will graduate from high school. Educational attainment affects lifetime income, and many children will never escape the cycle of poverty they are born into. Two-thirds of families started by teens live in poverty and nearly a quarter of teen mothers will depend on welfare within three years of the birth. More often than not, these families are single-parent households—nearly 80 percent of teen mothers do not marry the fathers of their children.
I'm not too impressed with studies done in 1993 or even in 2002. This does not mean that I know how old most relinquishing birth mothers are. Whatever their age or education or marital circumstances it is clear they are women who felt they are not prepared to parent. I also maintain teens are not good marital or parent material.
As I do.
The truth is that we've made it pretty comfortable in this country--through the assistance we provide--for teenagers to parent.
Let's forget the obvious forms of assistance like Medicaid to pay for births, WIC to pay for early child nutrition, and TANF payments.
We also have: 1. special schools for teen mothers (so they won't feel "out of place"); 2. Support services like Medicaid nurses who go around to them and make sure they know about every dime of assistance available; 3. Housing subsidies (mothers with children get priority over single adults when there is a shortage of low income housing).
Than there is the vast change in social attitudes that has occurred. It used to be stigmatic to be pregnant and unmarried. Now, anyone who even dares suggest that there is something wrong with this runs the risk of being accused of being "bigoted", "judgmental", "cruel", or a host of other adjectives. Somewhere around 40% of all women conceive babies out-of-wedlock now. Certain Hollywood celebrities almost seem to revel in it. Considering they won't be on public assistance, that probably isn't my business. However, this behavior sends quite a message to hordes of unmarried girls about priorities in life. The lesson is being taught and unfortunately it is being learned by the less mature, the less intelligent, and the less motivated in society.
No, it doesn't surprise me that few teenagers place babies for adoption these days. Why should they? Getting pregnant isn't seen as stigmatic and paying for your pregnancy and affording a child are not an issue. Some may think that's a great way to raise a child. I beg to differ.
It should also be noted that young teens may deliberately become pregnant in order to receive love. They idealize the idea of having a baby - that the baby (and perhaps the baby's father) will love them as much as they need love, and that they will receive positive attention for having a cute boyfriend and such a cute little baby. It's not uncommon for such young parents to have experienced inadequate parenting themselves, sadly, so they may view early parenthood as a positive choice that will fill in their emotional gaps.
Once the baby arrives, it may be treated much like a pretty doll by its young mother - sadly, once the cute, cuddly, pliable little baby becomes a stubborn little toddler whose favorite word is "NO!", younger (and some older) parents sometimes take their child's growing independence as personal rejection. Knowing little of typical child development patterns, young parents may take offense at perfectly normal, if difficult toddler behavior, and overreact with anger.
Teens having babies is not a positive indicator for success of either parent or child. However, teens with proper support of various kinds can successfully parent. But it's tough, tough work which requires much self-sacrifice and rapid gain of maturity and focus.
There are way too many factors going into unmarried pregnancy and relinquishment to pin it on the 1 thing. Many statisticians admit they can't get a handle on it, because they don't know enough. Too small samples & not enough reporting.
Some 'think' that relinquishment among some ethnic groups has always been frowned upon and thus a history of extended families caring for children gives a support system for the unmarried mother.
Some 'think' that growing up in poverty gives women little hope of accomplishing anything outside of motherhood and thus leads them to tend to carry & keep their children.
Some 'think' that influence from the girl's mother or partner weigh heavily on the decision to adopt.
-Women who are in 'maternity homes' relinquish more than those 'in the real world'.
-Unwed mothers are not always partner-less - just not married.
-Historically 'un-adoptability' of children of minority groups led to the choice of keeping your child or let it grow up in a 'children's home' .
Pertinent to the topic, from tne Evan B Donaldson Institute:
"Overall, the parents placing their children for adoption in the 21st Century are very diverse and different from their counterparts in previous generations. They are no longer primarily teenagers; in fact, only about one-fourth are teens. The predominant profile is young women in their 20s who have graduated from high school, many of whom have other children."
and as to research:
"Perhaps the most remarkable finding in the Adoption Institute's work on this paper was that there are no current studies that have examined a representative sample of women (or men) choosing to place their children for adoption today. The most recent research focused on adolescent respondents but, as noted above, that age group comprises only a minority of contemporary birthparents."
What is known however is that these teens often come from poverty stricken homes and that this places them on public assistance along with their child(ren) at a much higher rate than their non-teen counterparts. We know that many of these teens remain single and do not marry the birth father(s). It has been shown that abuse often comes from their boyfriends or a stepparent; and that children born to teen mothers often end up in Foster Care, Juvenile Centers, not obtaining their high school diploma and are less likely to attend college. This in turn leads them into repeating the cycle of their parents. Also, it is while they are in the Foster Care system where their children are often adopted.
So, even when babies born to teenage parents are not placed for adoption at birth, they have a higher chance of being in the Foster Care system, and then adopted, at later stages of their lives.
Anyway you look at it, teenage pregnancy is not good for the mother or the child.
I'm not too impressed with studies done in 1993 or even in 2002. This does not mean that I know how old most relinquishing birth mothers are. Whatever their age or education or marital circumstances it is clear they are women who felt they are not prepared to parent. I also maintain teens are not good marital or parent material.
I'd like to point out that it is also a myth that girls or women who relinquish children for adoption. There are men, too, who are fathers and who relinquish their children.
I do want to challenge another misperception: "it is clear they are women who felt they are not prepared to parent."
Correction: when pregnant girls and women are targeted as "expectant mothers" carrying "our baby" then these pregnant women are not given full respect and care to prepare to give birth, or, for that matter, to be fully aware during their pregnancy. By this I mean (having given birth twice, I speak from experience), a pregnant women should be bonding and caring for her unborn child and not be concerned that someone else will parent her unborn child. When she is talked into beleiveing she cannot parent her unborn child, she is not fully engaged in the pregnancy and the baby is aware of her moods. Hormones, chemicals, and emotions transfer to the unborn child: stress.
It is scientific fact that Bonding only happens between mother and her unborn child. They exist as a unit, in a symbiotic union, and the birthing process itself continues Bonding. Birth and immediately after are extreemly important for the baby. Suckling, touch, smell, vision and hearing mother's voice, which the baby already knows, are part of the Bonding process. The baby is dependant upon the mother for all aspects of life and this process continues for three months. During the first three months after birth, the baby begins to socialize, recognize father's voice and face. Attachment happens with father and siblings and other relatives: but Bonding only happens between mother and infant. (From Keynote speaker, the late Ken Watson, AAC conference, circa 1992, I was there.)
When this Bonding process is interupted, the baby suffers Primal Wound (auhtor Nancy Verrier). So, when a pregnant women is not allowed to bond with her baby, and is pressured into believing "it is clear they are women who felt they are not prepared to parent", there is a problem. Mother suffers and so does baby.
If there were safeguards put into place for her to calmly prepare for the birth of her baby, and make a sound decision sometime after birth, with all options made known to her, that would be safer for both.
I strongly disagree that all these mothers come to the conclusion they are not prepared to parent. In the old days, a century ago, teens were marrying at 16, having first child at 16 or 17, and this was normal. These mothers were mature and ready to parent. In our days, teens and mid-twenties women are discouraged from parenting their own children. That mindset goes against nature. The mother knows this and gives up - gives up - so that other, more mature, more wealthy, more educated new parents can take on the role of parenting.
To go back to the age of relinquishing mothers and the myth that only mothers relinquish, my mother was 30, married for ten years, and died after my birth. My father relinquished me.
So it must be addressed: it is a myth that only mothers relinquish.
An adotpee friend of mine met her mother. Her natural mother was 40 when she gave birth at a time in history when being not married and pregnant meant you couldn't keep your baby. It was not a choice, she had to give up her baby. The father disapeared.
Speaking of fathers disapearing: another friend of mine found out that his mother was a 17 year old high school girl impregnated by her married teacher, age 35. Of couse she was shammed into giving up her baby.
When society does not support the mother, she has no other choice. When society does not support a father after his wife dies, he has no other choice.
There are many myths that need to be examined.
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Some additional facts
