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Old 02-27-2013, 07:41 PM
 
1,851 posts, read 3,393,856 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Avery_Harper View Post
Excuse me if I am presumptuous...Why should she hide her face in shame? She has every right to go public with her experience.
You are being very presumptuous. Who said she should hide in "shame"? She should, as someone who claims to love the child she gave birth to, respect his privacy and keep their situation private. She may have a right to say whatever she wants, but that doesn't make it right.

I actually am surprised at most of the responses to this topic...still trying to justify unjustifiable behavior. Unbelievable. Can at least one adoptee admit that what Russo is doing is wrong? Or at least suspect? How it's being justified here is quickly leaving me at a loss for words.

At some point anyone who has been touched by adoption must accept that their experience is unique to only them. Each situation is different, that is why we don't hear of stories like this often. I believe most birth mothers would never do what Russo is doing. This is yet another unique situation.

So, forget about that it is "Jaded" who posted this, and how to attack "Jaded" and really think through what Russo has done. Can you honestly still defend her? Can you defend her without using your own personal experiences? Can you justify her actions at the expense of Colin's feelings, an adoptee who many of the posters here say they are all for protecting? Is there any objectivity within any of the naysayers here? I mean, c'mon!

Only one poster (other than me) has intimated that Colin has the right to his privacy, and is the one being hurt, by his birth mother's actions. Yet, most comments on the actual news sites are just the opposite. They support Colin. As I do.
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Old 02-27-2013, 08:57 PM
 
1,880 posts, read 2,303,642 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaded View Post
You are being very presumptuous. Who said she should hide in "shame"? She should, as someone who claims to love the child she gave birth to, respect his privacy and keep their situation private. She may have a right to say whatever she wants, but that doesn't make it right.

I actually am surprised at most of the responses to this topic...still trying to justify unjustifiable behavior. Unbelievable. Can at least one adoptee admit that what Russo is doing is wrong? Or at least suspect? How it's being justified here is quickly leaving me at a loss for words.

At some point anyone who has been touched by adoption must accept that their experience is unique to only them. Each situation is different, that is why we don't hear of stories like this often. I believe most birth mothers would never do what Russo is doing. This is yet another unique situation.

So, forget about that it is "Jaded" who posted this, and how to attack "Jaded" and really think through what Russo has done. Can you honestly still defend her? Can you defend her without using your own personal experiences? Can you justify her actions at the expense of Colin's feelings, an adoptee who many of the posters here say they are all for protecting? Is there any objectivity within any of the naysayers here? I mean, c'mon!

Only one poster (other than me) has intimated that Colin has the right to his privacy, and is the one being hurt, by his birth mother's actions. Yet, most comments on the actual news sites are just the opposite. They support Colin. As I do.
First of all, I'm pretty sure dogluvr is an adoptee and she agree with you.

My thing is this, ifF the view that you have presented was the actual situation - i.e. she just came out of the woodwork and said "Hi, I'm Colin's birthmom and I want him to contact me" - yes I would think that inappropriate. Also, if she called the networks themselves, yes then that is not what I would do but I don't know if that is what took place. . I might have even said the contact was inappropriate when I first heard about it a few months ago.

However, to me, it is far more complicated than that because on deeper inspection, it is hard to tell what the actual timeline is. This was the point of me bringing up the 2010 article in which they mentioned Colin and his bmother and used her name - long before she ever went onto the air. Also, I have no idea if he was constantly asked about her before she went on air.

Yet, most comments on the actual news sites are just the opposite. They support Colin. As I do

There are some comments on those sites which are very mannered in their approach and good on them. There are others that are just plain nasty and inaccurate.

We are not trying to attack you, Jade. However, there are still somethings that are inaccurate in your original post, eg when you said that she should just leave the family alone - the family itself seem happy to have contact with Heidi, it is just Colin who doesn't want contact.

Btw is I were famous and I talked about my adoption and I said I didn't want contact with my bmom even though she had contact with my family, and I did not give out her name to the media, I would probably be upset if she popped up and said things out of the blue. However, if I said "my bmom's name is XY and I don't want contact with her", then I myself would have made something private more public. I don't know whether Colin did that or someone else told the media her name 2 years ago. That's why I think things are a bit more complicated.

I will say that I do think it would be wiser for her to be keep things out of the media from now on - as should everyone else - the opinion pieces are making things worse and many of the comments attached to the articles are just plain nasty. She is hardly evil personified.
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Old 03-02-2013, 08:56 AM
 
1,014 posts, read 1,190,453 times
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If he hadn't been the first to bring it up to the media, I would agree with the OP. If he had expressed that he didn't approve of her behavior, I would agree.

But no one has expressed those things & so I think a lot of people are being presumptuous, assuming she has bothered him in anyway or undermined boundaries -- no one knows that for sure as he has never expressed that publicly. To me he doesn't seem to care & for all you know she asked for permission to speak publicly about her experience as her son did previously.

We shouldn't assume that it bothered him that she spoke publicly about her feelings as he himself had. Maybe it did, maybe it didn't.

If it did -- most likely it will push him further away. If it didn't -- it's inconsequential.

I think he is the only person who can say it was disrespecting his privacy... Considering he spoke about the adoption experience publicly first I have doubts that he would view it that way.

Last edited by thethreefoldme; 03-02-2013 at 09:19 AM..
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Old 03-06-2013, 08:37 AM
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
23,973 posts, read 32,296,294 times
Reputation: 68021
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaded View Post
My husband is a sports fanatic. Last night, I saw Heidi Russo on ESPN, speaking about the son she gave up for adoption when she was 19. She choose a loving couple, who for six or seven years kept in touch with her to show her her son's progress. At her request, they stopped sending pictures and contact. For Russo, it was too painful to move on with her life, being consistently reminded about the decision she made.

Colin Kaepernick, now the quarterback for the San Francisco 49ers, has NO DESIRE to meet Russo. After multiple attempts to connect with him, she turned to the media. Days before his big game - the Super Bowl - she gave an interview, declaring how "proud" and "happy" she was for him. She did meet the Kaepernick's after one of Colin's game with her now 9-year old son, but Colin did not wish to see her. His real parents, the Kaepernick's, have always supported his decision to either meet or not meet Russo. But Colin is secure with his life and his family, and his friends doubt he will ever change his mind about not wishing to see or meet his birth mother in person.

Russo tracked Colin down via Facebook and Twitter, and continues to use the media to connect with him. I find this shallow and rude. It is very disrepectful of Russo to ignore Colin's decision and to try to gain sympathy from a public who has no business knowing about Colin's business in this way.

If Colin had turned out to be a Christopher Donner or the DC Sniper, would Russo use the media to make herself known that she had given birth to him? Her timing is priceless. Furthermore, his success should be enjoyed by him and his real family, not with the woman who arguably later regretted her decision and who now seeks attention at the expense of her son she claims to love. My question to Russo is: Why the need to go public when Colin does not want to meet you or include you in his life?

Here is one story about the issue: 49ers Birthmother Wants to Meet Son. But you will find other stories regarding this story as well on most sports news sites. It is truly sad, for Colin and the Kaepernicks.
DH is also a sports fanatic and mentioned this to me. I am appalled by this woman's "stalkerish" behavior!

I wonder if she'd be so interested if her son was not a star quarterback for the 49ers?

My heart goes out to the entire Kaepernick family.

Do you know if they have any legal recourse here?
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Old 03-07-2013, 12:26 PM
 
1,851 posts, read 3,393,856 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sheena12 View Post
DH is also a sports fanatic and mentioned this to me. I am appalled by this woman's "stalkerish" behavior!

I wonder if she'd be so interested if her son was not a star quarterback for the 49ers?

My heart goes out to the entire Kaepernick family.

Do you know if they have any legal recourse here?
As far as I know they don't. Since he is an adult, his only recourse is to directly state his wishes to not meet her, which he has.

I do feel for the entire Kaepernick family. They did keep in touch and it was Russo who asked them to stop contacting her...now he's a football star and she's all for contact...

You know there is more to this story. I suspect the Kaepernick's are being silent on a lot of details about Russo out of respect for her and love for Colin. She (Russo) may have been emotionally troubled when she relinquished Colin in her late teens. They may be very familiar with her personality.
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