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We're looking to adopt, very new and unknowledgeable about this and trying to learn. Are agencies such as Adoptions from the Heart, An Act of Love, and American Adoptions "good" adoption agencies?
I've heard of the first one. What kind of adoption are you looking into? Domestic or international? Never heard anything bad about them, which is a good thing.
A Act of Love has been in the media lately in regards to violations of biological fathers' rights, although I believe it is in regards to a particular attorney who is associated with the agency. Other attorneys at the agency may have a different approach.
As Warren says, it depends what you are looking for in an agency. To me, a "good" agency is an ethical agency. Everybody, baby, expectant mother & PAPs, benefit from going through ethical agencies.
A Act of Love has been in the media lately in regards to violations of biological fathers' rights, although I believe it is in regards to a particular attorney who is associated with the agency. Other attorneys at the agency may have a different approach.
As Warren says, it depends what you are looking for in an agency. To me, a "good" agency is an ethical agency. Everybody, baby, expectant mother & PAPs, benefit from going through ethical agencies.
"A Act of Love" - not good for spelling or grammar. LOL
Consider how the pizza tastes when you order from "AAAAAAAAAA Pizza". If the name is constructed just to put it at the front of the Yellow Pages, they probably don't get much repeat business.
They charge $1000 just for accepting your application. That's a filing fee that entitles you to nothing. They charge from $20,000 to $40,000. There are also two separate agencies - one a charitable non-for-profit, another agency collects on the 'legal' fees.
Yes, ethical was the word I was looking for. Domestic adoption is what we're looking at. Thanks for the information
To me, an ethical agency is one that makes sure the expectant parents make their decision re their child's future in as an unbiased an atmosphere as possible.
Thus, I would recommend that when checking out agencies, you look at the pages directed towards the expectant parents (usually entitled "?Pregnant") and try and avoid the ones that come across as "selling" adoption to the eparents. Another thing would be to take off points every time the word "selfless" is used on those pages.
In regards to American Adoptions, I personally found their "considering adoption" pages to come across a bit heavy on the selling of adoption. Many US agencies have websites like that. However, I note Canadian ones seem to more along the line of informing bparents about what adoption is about and what is likely to happen - to me that is what should be on an agency's "considering doption pages".
Also American Adoption has feeder sites, i.e. they have websites that are aimed at women considering all her options and, in general, these sites should be unbiased. However, the sites run by AA do end up being biased because, of course, one option gets better "press" than the others.
If you have decided on domestic adoption, you might want to look into your state's or perhaps neighboring states' programs for adopting children from foster care. There are hundreds of children in need of families, and adopting through foster care can be considerably less costly than adoption via other routes.
Are you interested in adopting a baby, an older child, perhaps a sibling group? Are you open to children of both sexes? How about children of minority groups or of mixed race? Would you consider a child with special needs? (these can range from very minor and/or correctible to major but treatable). Are you interested in open adoption, or would you prefer closed or semi-open adoption?
It takes a long time to adopt a baby domestically, particularly a white, female baby with no special needs or siblings. It seems that many have a dream of parenting a beautiful little golden-haired, blue-eyed baby girl. And don't mistake me, there are little ones just like that in need of families, but their wait is very short compared with that of children in other categories, and those who are open to other possibilities are likely to become adoptive parents much more rapidly than those with their hearts set on that vision of an angelic little baby girl.
If you are open to adopting a child of either sex, if race is immaterial, if you are open to a wide age-range, to special needs, or sibling groups, your wait will be much shorter and the child or children you adopt will find a home much more rapidly.
The exception might be private adoption, in which you'd be matched by one method or another, and might receive custody of a baby within a few days of the child's birth. Private adoptions are often arranged through lawyers and through private friend-of-a- friend/family grapevine networks, and can be costly and not without pitfalls, particularly if the matching is done prior to the baby's birth and the expectant mother changes her mind. However, the possibilities for heartbreak seem to be much higher in such situations - I know of a case in which would-be adoptive parents had met the biological parents, had furnished a nursery, named the child (whose gender was known) - and then the young mother changed her mind and kept the baby, only to later lose custody of her child later because she was not capable of bearing the burdens and responsibilities of childrearing, despite her great love for her child and considerable support from her family of origin. Everyone suffered in this situation - the child, most of all.
Adoption is complex, and there are many points of view about it on this forum. My area of interest is in international special needs adoption, while other regular posters' expertise and areas of concern lie elsewhere. So ask us any questions you may have, and apply the answers accordingly, to your own situation.
Best wishes and good luck to you and to the child or children who may become yours in the future.
Thank you for even more information! I'm continually looking at all the options out there and learning how everything works to figure out what's best for us. Thanks!
One thing I would do is to let everybody you know or anywhere you go that you are wanting to adopt a baby. My DD and SIL had signed up with an adoption agency (good one in Atlanta, referred by a former client) AND they were doing everything they needed to do. Out of the blue one day I received an email from a friend of mind. She had gotten an email from an acquaintance of hers and wanted to know if my friend knew a good family that wanted to adopt a baby. We have the cutest little red haided, blue eyed toddler you've ever seen. She absolutely looks like my side of the family. They still went thru their agency and had to get an agency in the birth state. Both legal father and bio father had to sign the papers for her to be adopted, as well as the birth mother. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you.
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