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Old 03-10-2013, 07:34 PM
 
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I've started this new thread because a new theme developed within the "Assumption that birth mothers want privacy" thread towards the end and it is one that can actually be discussed further. Below is the portion of the post where the new topic began. Enjoy! - Jaded

In many places now to prevent babies being abandoned or thrown into trash cans, they have a policy where a woman can drop a baby off at a church or firehouse or hospital and no questions will be asked. I think it's important to keep those options available to the birth mothers.

Last edited by Jaded; 03-27-2013 at 06:43 PM.. Reason: Split Thread

 
Old 03-11-2013, 12:17 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by malamute View Post
In many places now to prevent babies being abandoned or thrown into trash cans, they have a policy where a woman can drop a baby off at a church or firehouse or hospital and no questions will be asked. I think it's important to keep those options available to the birth mothers.
Wow malamute, were you reading my mind? I just made a statement similar to this in a new thread on this forum about adoption history.

Yes, choices are good. Options are even better.
 
Old 03-12-2013, 02:15 PM
 
Location: California
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I think baby dumps should be encouraged less and adoption plans promoted more by society simply because leaving a baby an abandoned foundling is irresponsible.
 
Old 03-16-2013, 10:03 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Avery_Harper View Post
I think baby dumps should be encouraged less and adoption plans promoted more by society simply because leaving a baby an abandoned foundling is irresponsible.
I agree that there should be more promotion of adoption with the birth mothers involved in the process. I think that the safe drop off places is good though because if a woman is overwhelmed for whatever reason, getting the baby to a safe place is a whole lot better than just leaving the baby alone to die or whatever else.

Some years ago, a baby here was left on an irrigation ditch on a cold night and was found dead and partly eaten by coyotes, the mother was arrested. I'm all for an alternative to that kind of thing.
 
Old 03-17-2013, 07:55 AM
 
167 posts, read 252,339 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by malamute View Post
I agree that there should be more promotion of adoption with the birth mothers involved in the process. I think that the safe drop off places is good though because if a woman is overwhelmed for whatever reason, getting the baby to a safe place is a whole lot better than just leaving the baby alone to die or whatever else.

Some years ago, a baby here was left on an irrigation ditch on a cold night and was found dead and partly eaten by coyotes, the mother was arrested. I'm all for an alternative to that kind of thing.
Agree safe havens are good too. Especially now with some states changing the laws and privacy is taken away. Woman become even more desperate . NJ worked on safe haven laws when A young couple from an upper middle class family had a baby in a hotel room then put the baby in a garbage dumpster, died. Followed by a high school student who had a baby in a bathroom stall on prom night and threw him away died. Where I live a woman left the baby on church steps in the freezing cold, died. Even after safe haven laws were enacted a woman gave birth and her boyfriend killed the child smashing him with a rocks. Crazy... when all he had to do was drop the baby off at a police station down the road maybe he didn't know about the safe haven law. It needs to be promoted more. That is one reason why I am against all or nothing opening birth certificates. Why do we want to take choices away. Make adoption easier not harder by making woman feel safe with their choices from open to semi open to closed. To me it is no different then taking the choice of abortion way there will be woman who have abortion in back streets. Stop with the adoption is different and not a good thing. Adoption would have been better for any one of those babies.
 
Old 03-17-2013, 06:22 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Priscilla151 View Post
Agree safe havens are good too. Especially now with some states changing the laws and privacy is taken away. Woman become even more desperate . NJ worked on safe haven laws when A young couple from an upper middle class family had a baby in a hotel room then put the baby in a garbage dumpster, died. Followed by a high school student who had a baby in a bathroom stall on prom night and threw him away died. Where I live a woman left the baby on church steps in the freezing cold, died. Even after safe haven laws were enacted a woman gave birth and her boyfriend killed the child smashing him with a rocks. Crazy... when all he had to do was drop the baby off at a police station down the road maybe he didn't know about the safe haven law. It needs to be promoted more. That is one reason why I am against all or nothing opening birth certificates. Why do we want to take choices away. Make adoption easier not harder by making woman feel safe with their choices from open to semi open to closed. To me it is no different then taking the choice of abortion way there will be woman who have abortion in back streets. Stop with the adoption is different and not a good thing. Adoption would have been better for any one of those babies.
I know. Safe Havens need to be promoted more. Recently in California, there was a news story about the local safe havens available. Too often young mothers, or even not so young ones, don't want to be known as not wanting or not being able to care for their infants or young child. With the "no questions asked" safe haven laws, they are free to make the decision to relinquish without threat of being judged or put in jail. When they take the life of the child, or place the child in harms way so that they in turn die, then they face criminal charges. Makes no sense. I really wish we would promote safe havens more, especially to vulnerable mothers who feel they don't have many options.
 
Old 03-17-2013, 06:36 PM
 
1,879 posts, read 1,858,268 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Priscilla151 View Post
Agree safe havens are good too. Especially now with some states changing the laws and privacy is taken away. Woman become even more desperate . NJ worked on safe haven laws when A young couple from an upper middle class family had a baby in a hotel room then put the baby in a garbage dumpster, died. Followed by a high school student who had a baby in a bathroom stall on prom night and threw him away died. Where I live a woman left the baby on church steps in the freezing cold, died. Even after safe haven laws were enacted a woman gave birth and her boyfriend killed the child smashing him with a rocks. Crazy... when all he had to do was drop the baby off at a police station down the road maybe he didn't know about the safe haven law. It needs to be promoted more. That is one reason why I am against all or nothing opening birth certificates. Why do we want to take choices away. Make adoption easier not harder by making woman feel safe with their choices from open to semi open to closed. To me it is no different then taking the choice of abortion way there will be woman who have abortion in back streets. Stop with the adoption is different and not a good thing. Adoption would have been better for any one of those babies.
In regards to neonaticide, in many cases, it seems to be a case of the woman disassociating herself from her pregnancy, i.e. a denial that she is pregnant. When these women give birth, they don't seem to think of the resultant newborn as an actual baby and thus the safe havens are of no use to them - one has to actually accept that one has given birth to a baby to actually think about using safe havens.

Quite often, the type of women who actually use safe havens are often the ones that you used to hear about in the past who would leave their child on a doorstep or in another place where they knew their child would be found - i.e. a woman terrified about being found out but who did have some concern for their child.

You might find this link about neonaticide interesting:

http://aia.berkeley.edu/media/pdf/di...ure_review.pdf

Wiki article on safe haven laws:

Safe-haven law - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Excerpt:
Quote:

Supporters[who?] of safe-haven laws claim that the laws save lives by encouraging parents to surrender infants safely instead of aborting, killing, or discarding them. Detractors claim that, because safe-haven laws do not require parents to be under stress, parents will use the law largely to avoid notice to the non-surrendering parent.
Detractors[who?] also claim that safe-haven laws undercut temporary surrender laws, which were enacted specifically for parents who are unsure about whether to keep or relinquish their children. Supporters counter by arguing that anonymity is the only way to convince certain parents not to harm their infants, and that the benefit outweighs any claimed detriment.
Controversy has arisen out the safe-haven law enacted in Nebraska in July 2008. The Nebraska law has been interpreted to define a child as anyone under 18,[3] and has resulted in the desertion of teenage children.[4] Under this law, at least 35 non-infant children were dropped off in Nebraska hospitals in a four month span.[5] The law was changed in November 2008, allowing only infants up to 30 days old to be surrendered.
Btw I read quite an intersting article once about "drop off boxes" in another country where they actually left forms inside the boxes to be filled out by the women dropping off the babies - surprisingly, in quite a large number of cases, they did fill out the form. I think there was then a confidential contact with them to see if they could be helped (something made clear on the form). I'll see if I can find the article.

Last edited by susankate; 03-17-2013 at 06:48 PM..
 
Old 03-17-2013, 08:28 PM
 
Location: California
167 posts, read 153,134 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by malamute View Post
I agree that there should be more promotion of adoption with the birth mothers involved in the process. I think that the safe drop off places is good though because if a woman is overwhelmed for whatever reason, getting the baby to a safe place is a whole lot better than just leaving the baby alone to die or whatever else.

Some years ago, a baby here was left on an irrigation ditch on a cold night and was found dead and partly eaten by coyotes, the mother was arrested. I'm all for an alternative to that kind of thing.
Most women who are going to kill their babies/or abandon them to the elements shortly after delivering won't use baby safe havens. Unfortunately, those who do use them are using them in place of making responsible adoption plans where pre-natal care and the long term interest of both mother and her infant will be promoted.
 
Old 03-27-2013, 01:01 AM
 
Location: Warren, OH
2,748 posts, read 3,328,979 times
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Being a pregnant teenager is still not accepted by a huge portion of American society. Teenagers have many important developmental milestones to meet. Being a parent is not one of them.

They seem to do poorly at this task.

Teen motherhood, and the denial of birth control, is the shame of the US.

I don't believe in "safe havens" or special school programs to assist individuals who find themselves in this situation.

They are children, not mothers and their babies deserve decent homes headed by at least one adult, 2 men, 2 women or a man and a women.
 
Old 03-27-2013, 04:33 AM
 
167 posts, read 252,339 times
Reputation: 141
I agree that most pregnant teens do a poor job. Just watching Teen mom and I want to scream the smartest teens on there are the ones who chose adoption. The rest I feel for their children, drugs, cheating on husbands, boyfriends, domestic abuse, grandparents being the parent. I taught pre-school for many years, teen parents (not all) were the hardest to deal with they are just so young. The ones most successful were the ones who had parents who helped ( very involved in grandchild's life) and instead of going out to party the teen went to college.

I however do support safe havens and special school programs not to promote keeping the child but for the safety and well being of a child once the girl makes her decisions. I worked at an outreach program for a short time with teen moms. I know without the program the children would most likely have a mother on welfare or minimum wage job. Hopefully teaching parenting skills kept one child from being abused, helped one mother to deal correctly with their child, helped one child to have a better life then if the mother never attended the program.

Absolutely, agree teen parents are children and their babies deserve a decent life. Unfortunately in America adoption is (don't know the word to use here) not promoted it is all about abortion. Adoption is becoming the evil choice for a girl found in unplanned pregnancy. In the past a teen parent was called a **** or was easy, now she is told she is selfish if she gives up her child, the child is better with a natural parent and of course they believe all these programs or mommy and daddy will help then get through it while they get to go on being a teen. Shows like Secret Life of an American teenager doesn't help or teen mom, in my opinion.
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