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Old 04-26-2013, 07:40 PM
 
3 posts, read 8,884 times
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Mother wants adoption father does not what happens child support?

Mother wants to put baby up for adoption. Father does not. Father just got a job paying $15 an hour. He has 5 other children ages 2,3,4,7,9 all different mothers. He is behind on child support. Mother does not have any children was a student in college but ran out of money and currently not working on bedrest doctors orders. She has no family support. I'm a mutual friend of both the mother and father. The father wants the baby and tells her he will put her on childsupport. He told her that if she keeps the baby and puts him on childsupport she won't get much money because he is already paying support for 5 kids. This is really stressing her out. I went to visit her today and she was so nervous about him getting custody and making her pay childsupport she was shaking and crying. She says she just wants to put the baby up for adoption and move on with her life. I feel bad because I convinced her to put the baby up for adoption instead of abortion. Now the father is trying to block the adoption. I'm moving out of town next week so I won't be around to help her. What should she do? He also smokes weed.
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Old 04-26-2013, 07:43 PM
 
Location: South Carolina
13,825 posts, read 18,811,674 times
Reputation: 24505
tell your friend to pack up lock , stock and barrel and haul butt and never look back and that way if she stays away he has no say unless he finds her and they are not married , so she can legally take that baby and run like hell . I would make sure he would never find me if it were me . well if she is going to put the baby up for adoption I think he the father has to sign the papers that it is okay with him before she can do that . I say choose option a and run like hell . Good luck to your friend .
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Old 04-26-2013, 07:49 PM
 
Location: My beloved Bluegrass
14,743 posts, read 10,642,419 times
Reputation: 19938
Does the father have custody of any of the other kids? If he does't have custody, does he pay child support? Does he have an arrest record? Is the planned adoption with known parties or is it through an agency?

Mothers are just as liable for child support as fathers. But the father needs to be fit.

Running is extremely bad advice and will only serve to make things worse.
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Old 04-26-2013, 07:55 PM
 
3 posts, read 8,884 times
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No he does not have custody of any of them. He is only on childsupport for one of them and he is $2,000 behind. The other mothers have threatened to put him on child support but he always hires a lawyer to send them a letter saying he will demand joint custody where both parents pay child support. He has bragged about giving each woman $50 a month. He does have a felony from 10 years ago.
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Old 04-26-2013, 08:04 PM
 
16,605 posts, read 14,091,160 times
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She needs to consult a lawyer because there are multiple issues here.

First, regarding her desire to not parent this child. Depending on state law she may be able to sign over her parental rights possibly through the safe haven laws and then would not need to pay child support.

Second, she has every right both legally and morally to choose not to parent. Once this is done, she does not morally have the right to decide a father cannot parent. She can certainly report to whatever state agency her information regarding drug use and any other issues she feels would make the father unfit to parent, but is not HER decision. Many (maybe most) states allow fathers, even unwed fathers, to register their intent to parent and thus stop an adoption. Your friend may legally be able to circumvent this in their home state by running away but it would be morally reprehensible.
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Old 04-26-2013, 08:26 PM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,485 posts, read 43,812,291 times
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Why does anybody think this low life would ever be granted custody of this child? Can she prove he has 5 other children? does she know the mothers? can she get them to give her copies of the letters he had the lawyer send? A felony conviction, arrears in child support and failure to support 4 other children all would make him not likely to be given custody. A good lawyer could get him to terminate his parental rights by threatening him with child support for all 6 children. That would make him run like hell. Apparently he is motivated more by money than any concern for his children.
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Old 04-26-2013, 08:34 PM
 
3 posts, read 8,884 times
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She knows some of the mothers names. She does not have a copy of the letters. She says she is considering dropping the baby off at a safe haven so he can't challenge the adoption.
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Old 04-26-2013, 09:12 PM
 
Location: MMU->ABE->ATL->ASH
9,130 posts, read 17,160,797 times
Reputation: 9982
He Can challenge the adoption, even if she uses the safe haven sites.
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Old 04-26-2013, 09:41 PM
 
9,212 posts, read 9,286,664 times
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It depends on the state. In some states, failure to pay child support and/or exercise visitation constitutes abandonment of the child. This can result in a loss of parental rights. Its possible if the father was never married to the mother and never filed a Notice of Paternity that he may not have parental rights in the first place. If so, the child can be placed for adoption without his consent.
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Old 04-26-2013, 09:47 PM
 
Location: DFW - Coppell / Las Colinas
32,019 posts, read 36,675,387 times
Reputation: 38660
This has nothing to do with adoption but I'd like to offer the guy a free vasectomy.
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