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Old 05-20-2013, 07:42 PM
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
18,586 posts, read 23,117,825 times
Reputation: 48552

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Quote:
Originally Posted by thethreefoldme View Post
First there are other factors you are not considering. Also, there's a big difference between availability of programs & access to effective programs. I think Susankate has posted about some very effective programs that sadly are not readily available.
Again, if these are programs that facilitate and aid teenagers in keeping their baby, I would not at all be in favor of them.

I am not in favor of teenagers raising or attempting to raise children. Under any circumstances.

I am horrified that anyone would be in favor of the North Carolina teenager calling her baby her greatest achievement in high school, and expecting the yearbook staff to accept this!

Also, I am not in favor of the child's parents raising the baby that was a result of the liaison. They have already proven that they are not able to control their child.

Adoption or termination should be the options.

 
Old 05-20-2013, 07:53 PM
 
1,024 posts, read 984,035 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaded View Post
If you support teenage parenthood, this is your right. I don't support it, I don't condone it.
What I don't support is forcing people to give their children up for adoption, or the false assumption that it is always better for a baby to be adopted than to be raised by their biological family. Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't. It depends on the family & although teenage parenthood is not ideal, being adopted is not always ideal, either.
 
Old 05-20-2013, 08:37 PM
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
18,586 posts, read 23,117,825 times
Reputation: 48552
Quote:
Originally Posted by thethreefoldme View Post
What I don't support is forcing people to give their children up for adoption, or the false assumption that it is always better for a baby to be adopted than to be raised by their biological family. Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't. It depends on the family & although teenage parenthood is not ideal, being adopted is not always ideal, either.
It is not a false assumption. Social research bears this out.

It is not only "not optimal" it can be dangerous.

The most unsafe place for a child in in her own home with the presence of a non-parent. Not a parent by adoption, mind you; but a friend or spouse of the parent who has no love or attachment directly with the child. A step parent or parent's boy friend.

This is one of the many reasons I am against teenager's raising children.

I am also not in favor of teenage marriage. The marriage and child raising age should be the same. Twenty one.
 
Old 05-21-2013, 12:29 AM
 
16,487 posts, read 21,010,430 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sheena12 View Post
Again, if these are programs that facilitate and aid teenagers in keeping their baby, I would not at all be in favor of them.

I am not in favor of teenagers raising or attempting to raise children. Under any circumstances.

I am horrified that anyone would be in favor of the North Carolina teenager calling her baby her greatest achievement in high school, and expecting the yearbook staff to accept this!

Also, I am not in favor of the child's parents raising the baby that was a result of the liaison. They have already proven that they are not able to control their child.

Adoption or termination should be the options.
So if your own daughter were to get pregnant with your first grandbaby, you would push her to place the baby for adoption?
 
Old 05-21-2013, 12:55 AM
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
18,586 posts, read 23,117,825 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by brokencrayola View Post
So if your own daughter were to get pregnant with your first grandbaby, you would push her to place the baby for adoption?

I am not sure why this is not easy to understand. I do not believe that a teenage individual should raise a child.Under any circumstances. I think it's bad for the teenager and for the baby.

I've already said that I do not want to raise my grandchildren. Not my daughter's or my son's hypothetical children.

Since I think that this is best for all teenagers and all babies, wouldn't I want it even more for my own children who I love?

Neither of them have any interest in having babies. If my son meets a girl that speaks about that kind of thing, he is turned off. My daughter has already said that if she were to make a mistake, she's take plan B ( the morning after pill) or terminate. She has absolutely no issues with termination. Even less than I do,

Since one of my children is at a university and the other plans to go to one and both live on campus or aspire to do so, they are surrounded by people who feel as they do.

They do not look up to pregnant teenagers, nor do they think that there is anything glamorous about it.
They think it's trashy and strange. Neither of them even like infants very much.

I felt the same way at that age.
 
Old 05-21-2013, 04:31 AM
 
1,024 posts, read 984,035 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sheena12 View Post
It is not a false assumption. Social research bears this out.

It is not only "not optimal" it can be dangerous.
It's a false assumption because it can also be dangerous being raised by an adoptive family & not all babies with teenaged parents are in danger. When bio families are willing & able to raise the child well, they are obviously better off not being adopted.

People shouldn't judge all parents with pregnant teenagers -- birth control fails, people are raped, etc. What you believe would be best for your family in that situation is not necessarily best for all families.

Quote:
The most unsafe place for a child in in her own home with the presence of a non-parent. Not a parent by adoption, mind you; but a friend or spouse of the parent who has no love or attachment directly with the child. A step parent or parent's boy friend.

This is one of the many reasons I am against teenager's raising children.
How is a step-parent a non-parent? They become parents the same way APs do (legally & from infancy +)

The studies actually show that children are at an increased risk in the presence of non-related adults (including adoptive parents). Links have already been provided to prove this & I have never seen any to prove APs are an exception. Some children who are born of teenaged parents are in imminent danger & in that case adoption would be best so long as they are adopted by a great family. If they are adopted by a family that becomes abusive that obviously makes this debatable.

Sadly, that has happened more often than people like to believe.

Either way, it is not a universal truth that all babies with teenaged parents are better off adopted. Some are, some aren't. There are many variables to consider & what is true for one family is not always true for all families.

Last edited by thethreefoldme; 05-21-2013 at 05:25 AM..
 
Old 05-21-2013, 05:04 PM
 
1,879 posts, read 1,855,336 times
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From what I can ascertain, everyone on here agrees that they would do everything to prevent their teen getting pregnant in the first place by giving them good sex education and advice re contraception, creating an atmosphere of openness so their child can talk to them and also making sure they instill the confidence in their child to say no.

As to the second part of the equation, i.e. what we would do if our own teen got pregnant, we have all differed. My hypothetical teen would be a 17 year old whose contraception somehow failed - for argument's sake, I will imagine that I went with her to get the depo provera injection. It is of course very effective, so I'll pretend she was the 1%. I think I would also have told her to get the boy to use condoms so let's pretend that broke. Her hypothetical boyfriend will also be a nice responsible chap.

So if my responsible 17 year old daughter got pregnant and wanted to raise the child, I would not push th other alternatives on her. I'm not going to force abortion on someone who is against it and I am not going to push adoption on her. Adoption is not just a simple case of "trading up" - one is creating where one's child's nature and nurture will be separated - an important point to be considered by expectant mothers when weighing up their options. I would make it clear that she will be doing the bulk of the parenting - to me, teen parenting means the teen will parent. I would provide emotional support and guidance and help her to sort out the best way for her to effectively parent.

The main issues in improving outcomes with teen motherhood are education and support. I would make sure she finishes her education. A program with other teen mothers would be better than her own school because her life will have changed and she would need support from others in the same position. A school like CFA, where one isn't allowed to graduate until they have been accepted into college, would be ideal.

She would receive our emotional support but it will be made clear to her that raising her child will mean exactly that, raising her child. Her boyfriend will be made to be a father and not shirk his responsibilities.

It has been proven that when a responsible teenage mother is able to continue her education and has good sensible and responsible family and community support, the outcome is good for both child and mother.
 
Old 05-21-2013, 05:39 PM
 
Location: Florida
862 posts, read 1,211,315 times
Reputation: 1406
If the teen parents get married and have ample money to support a family, then yes, but if otherwise, then no.
 
Old 05-21-2013, 09:03 PM
 
1,851 posts, read 2,980,069 times
Reputation: 2365
A reminder: this thread is about your support of teenage pregnancy/motherhood over an adoption plan.

Not about CPS taking an infant from adult parents as shown on YouTube.

Please continue to discuss the thread topic...
 
Old 05-23-2013, 04:20 AM
 
16,567 posts, read 14,005,185 times
Reputation: 20518
No one "supports/promotes teen pregnancy" and no one has ever suggested otherwise on this board at least as far as I have seen.

But if you think social safety net programs that allow teen parents to break the poverty cycle are "promoting" teen motherhood I am sure you think halfway houses "promote" drug addiction.

And let's be clear, no one seems to be claiming that anyone but teens are getting pregnant to live fat and happy of TANF. If it were really the PROMOTION of unwed pregnancy that you would demand the cessation of all welfare programs on the same principal.
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