U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting > Adoption
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Closed Thread Start New Thread
 
Old 05-23-2013, 05:24 PM
 
Location: Warren, OH
2,748 posts, read 3,328,979 times
Reputation: 6467

Advertisements

It is a policy of child protection. This has nothing to do with not permitting adults, as defined by the age of majority of 21, to not parent children.

It's commonsensical. This has nothing to do with race, sexual, orientation or marriage. I have no problem with a single employed adult planning to become pregnant or adopting a child, married or unmarried.

These individuals should also be able to adopt.

My problem is with teenaged individuals accidentally becoming pregnant and deciding to "keep my baby".

Teenagers are not emotionally or financially equipped for the task.

As many others have posted here, the bandaid style haphazard form of parenting provided by grandparents and other relatives.

It's really not rocket science. Or a dictatorship. It's the evolution of society. Throughout history, protective measures have been introduced that promote the rights of children. Measures concerning when they can work and under what circumstances, years of required education ( which is due for an increase in most people's estimation) age at which a person can enter into a legally binding contract, purchase alcoholic beverages or marry.

Why do we take raising a child with less seriousness than any of these?

 
Old 05-23-2013, 06:18 PM
 
Location: Kansas
19,186 posts, read 14,976,611 times
Reputation: 18249
Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714 View Post
No one "supports/promotes teen pregnancy" and no one has ever suggested otherwise on this board at least as far as I have seen.

But if you think social safety net programs that allow teen parents to break the poverty cycle are "promoting" teen motherhood I am sure you think halfway houses "promote" drug addiction.

And let's be clear, no one seems to be claiming that anyone but teens are getting pregnant to live fat and happy of TANF. If it were really the PROMOTION of unwed pregnancy that you would demand the cessation of all welfare programs on the same principal.
This post actually makes a lot of sense to me. Keep in mind that what we see also depends on our location in the US. If you haven't moved around and lived in different parts of the country, it would be impossible for you to understand how much the areas do differ.

Honestly, I still don't get what the OP wants to do. It sure sounds like seizing the newborns of teens and adopting them out to older mothers because older mothers are better able to care for their children? I guess that if they refuse to have abortions that would be teaching them a lesson? If you won't abort, expect your baby to be taken away because you are a teen and cannot possibly be a good parent and you will be doomed for eternity. Sounds like insanity! Now, this would be good news for adoption agencies because it would be money in their pockets and I don't think it would discourage sex between teens. So, this policy would do what?

A woman's right to choose abortion starts as a teen but to choose motherhood should be delayed until they are 20? What?
 
Old 05-23-2013, 06:51 PM
 
Location: somewhere flat
1,375 posts, read 1,213,778 times
Reputation: 4104
I am in favor of an adoption plan or termination. Teenage parenting just does not seem to work out for anyone.
It's selfish.
It's hard to believe that any rational person would not see this. The choice does not only effect the family. That's a very shortsighted view. It effects society and frequently tax payers.

I work in social services and worked in child protective services for over a decade, The worst cases I saw always involved teenage mothers.
 
Old 05-23-2013, 09:28 PM
 
Location: Baltimore, MD
3,741 posts, read 4,202,780 times
Reputation: 6861
Moderator Cut History is replete with examples of unspeakable acts being committed against members of various groups because they were deemed "unfit". The least offensive example is probably the Native American children who were removed by the State and placed with "nice" white folks. (Please don't bother trying to argue that removing a child based on the age of his or her parents is different than discriminating based on race. You DON'T want to go there, especially since several posters have raised the "class" issue and one could easily argue that some parents should have their child removed because they are too old to parent.)

Now, as to the argument that the examples in my prior post were exceptions to the rule. Of course my nieces received support from their families. That's what real families do. In addition, the community college students that I referred to in my prior post were not exceptional. Unlike my nieces, these were inner city students (several who were raised while in foster care) that wanted to further their education for both themselves and their kids. Oh, I almost forgot. I also had a few teenage Iraq and Afghanistan veterans with young children. I don't know, they acted awfully mature.

Here's a book for those interested in facts rather than hyperbole: Teenage Parenthood: what
(Teenage Parenthood: what's the problem?) A quick google search will provide snippets of the research reviewed in the text. It's super dry reading because it is written by academics, so those interested should probably take a peek at several of the reports rather than struggling through the text.

But hey, what do I know? I was raised in a working class family so I never infantilized my kids. Just guided and supported them.

Moderator Cut

Last edited by Jaded; 05-23-2013 at 10:32 PM.. Reason: Inappropriate language/personal attacks/off-topic
 
Old 05-23-2013, 09:45 PM
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
18,604 posts, read 23,166,327 times
Reputation: 48613
Not all families help one another to succeed at mediocrity.

There are different types of family systems. Strong and weak. One is not better than another. They are different.

In answer to your last statement - NO teens do not have the ability to successfully parent. They are very good at getting pregnant though.

It was posted under the adoption forum because I believe in adoption as a very good solution to this social problem. Actually the best one. It also helps a deserving family to be able to parent a child. It permits a child to continue to grow up.
 
Old 05-23-2013, 09:49 PM
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
18,604 posts, read 23,166,327 times
Reputation: 48613
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnywhereElse View Post
This post actually makes a lot of sense to me. Keep in mind that what we see also depends on our location in the US. If you haven't moved around and lived in different parts of the country, it would be impossible for you to understand how much the areas do differ.

Honestly, I still don't get what the OP wants to do. It sure sounds like seizing the newborns of teens and adopting them out to older mothers because older mothers are better able to care for their children? I guess that if they refuse to have abortions that would be teaching them a lesson? If you won't abort, expect your baby to be taken away because you are a teen and cannot possibly be a good parent and you will be doomed for eternity. Sounds like insanity! Now, this would be good news for adoption agencies because it would be money in their pockets and I don't think it would discourage sex between teens. So, this policy would do what?

A woman's right to choose abortion starts as a teen but to choose motherhood should be delayed until they are 20? What?
You didn't read anything I wrote. I don't care a bit about older teens having sex. With contraception knowing all of the risks - STDs and pregnancies.

I do care about children under 21 raising families. I don't know anyone who wants this or who would facilitate this in their home.
 
Old 05-24-2013, 07:04 AM
 
393 posts, read 503,991 times
Reputation: 440
Sheena - is it okay to send children to war and die or come back and face either physical or mental health issues (or both) for life - because your definition until that arbitrary age of 21 they are children.

Perhaps teens should not be allowed to drive at 16 because teen drivers cause many preventable accidents.

No one answered my question to Warren about the unintended consequence of driving pregnancy and birth underground because the doctors and hospitals would report both the child and the parents. So no prenatal care or help during delivery is also a reality when you want to strip people and families of rights.

I do believe the constitution would disagree with your wish list.
 
Old 05-24-2013, 07:37 AM
 
12,069 posts, read 9,841,044 times
Reputation: 15678
Quote:
Originally Posted by sheena12 View Post
However the attitude that "sometimes things happen", and the relative ease with which many parents today permit themselves to be sucked into the drama of teenage pregnancy is what proliferates it, and makes it an acceptable option, if not an optimal one.

My children know that it is not an option. I will not be raising their child - born in or out of wedlock. In our home, we attend college after high school.
I am with you. If they chose to have children THEY chose to have children. I already chose to have mine. I think it is funny that this comes right after Linmora's comment about the people whose daughter had another "oops" after they have taken over raising oops one. You enable your "grown" child, what else do you think that they are going to do?

Quote:
If they need birth control, or the morning after pill, I'll be happy to supply these.
My stance in unyielding because it is unacceptable and irrevocably changes the course of the life of a young adult. This is not getting a dent in the family mini van or pulling a "C+" in chemistry.

It's a life altering event! And it is one that does not need to happen.
"Unacceptable" is not what I would choose to call it. But I have tried to acquaint the kids with the consequences of their actions. This would be no different.
 
Old 05-24-2013, 07:39 AM
 
12,069 posts, read 9,841,044 times
Reputation: 15678
Quote:
Originally Posted by sheena12 View Post
Not all families help one another to succeed at mediocrity.

There are different types of family systems. Strong and weak. One is not better than another. They are different.

In answer to your last statement - NO teens do not have the ability to successfully parent. They are very good at getting pregnant though.
I disagree with this. "Teen" is not synonymous with stupid or lazy. You do see some growing to rise to the challenge.

Quote:
It was posted under the adoption forum because I believe in adoption as a very good solution to this social problem. Actually the best one. It also helps a deserving family to be able to parent a child. It permits a child to continue to grow up.
I think that this is not a social problem but a personal one. One that is best addressed by the people in it.
 
Old 05-24-2013, 10:04 AM
 
12,069 posts, read 9,841,044 times
Reputation: 15678
Quote:
Originally Posted by sheena12 View Post
Again, if these are programs that facilitate and aid teenagers in keeping their baby, I would not at all be in favor of them.

I am not in favor of teenagers raising or attempting to raise children. Under any circumstances.

I am horrified that anyone would be in favor of the North Carolina teenager calling her baby her greatest achievement in high school, and expecting the yearbook staff to accept this!
Wait. The yearbook staff has a say in the form of acceptance or not acceptance of what a student chooses to say in their yearbook? When it is not criminal?


Quote:
Also, I am not in favor of the child's parents raising the baby that was a result of the liaison. They have already proven that they are not able to control their child.

Adoption or termination should be the options.
Control their child? God help you, is that what you try to do? By what legal mechanism would adoption and abortion be the only "options"? By infringing on these people's civil rights and freedom?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Closed Thread

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting > Adoption
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 07:05 AM.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top