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Old 05-18-2013, 06:16 PM
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
18,636 posts, read 23,224,516 times
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On what basis? Is this something that you would welcome in your own family? Is it an option that you would want for your daughter?

Would you also sign the papers for your teenaged daughter to marry? If not, yet you would be OK with a pregnancy, why not? What is the difference?

I think that they are equally inappropriate. No difference.

There seem to be some fierce defenders of teenage parenting here. Almost all social scientists would classify it as a "social problem" and attempt to study it, in order to eradicate it, as one would with any epidemic.

Several people on this forum, seem to see it differently in spite of the fact that the outcomes are almost always dismal.

Please share your thoughts.

Also, if you agree with all mainstream sociologists and think that teen pregnancy is detrimental and problematic, please indicate that.

Last edited by Jaded; 05-18-2013 at 07:13 PM.. Reason: clarified.

 
Old 05-18-2013, 06:36 PM
 
1,014 posts, read 986,569 times
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I've never seen anyone here promote teenage pregnancy in any way. What does this have to do with adoption?
 
Old 05-18-2013, 07:00 PM
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
18,636 posts, read 23,224,516 times
Reputation: 48760
I have seen favoritism to a fault expressed to birth mothers and bio families.

Even people not involved with adoption, yet whose child bearing practices have been called into questionm such as the Duggars seem to get the heads up and the benefit of the doubt. I did not see much rejoicing when the "Little Couple" a well educated business professional and physician were given a referral of a toddler in China.

Yes. There seems to be a love affair with bio parents and a more than a tolerant attitude towards teenage pregnancy.

When penalization or intervention is even suggested, there are outcries for more "support".

Sorry, I am an off the charts Lefty, but I do not support any social institution that has as lousy an outcome as does teenage pregnancy.

I am all for terminating the parenting. Which is the least selfish, and most practical thing to do. When teens who become pregnant don't make this choice, then I am all for the government intervening.

I am not for "helping" the child to set up house.

Yet some people on this forum have suggested that we do this.

That sounds like a "love affair with teenaged mothers" to me. It isn't only on this forum. There is a reality series about girls with babies and I have heard that their is a magazine called "Teen Motherhood."

I mean what's next? "Post Modern Heroin Addict"? "Pomp and Prostitution"?

I just don't get the morbid fascination of many reality shows, but when children are involved it is even more troubling.
 
Old 05-18-2013, 07:47 PM
 
10,474 posts, read 8,419,943 times
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I am not "for" teenage pregnancy, but think there is no one answer.

Is the teenager fourteen or nineteen? Married or single? Working? Living independently or as part of a married couple? What does the girl want to do? What does the father want to do? Like Sheena, I think the current fad for reality shows about teenage mothers is appalling, both for the girls featured and for other teens who may take them as role models. Pregnant teens don't need to be scapegoated or labeled with scarlet letters, but they don't need to become reality TV stars, either.

I would prefer to see pregnant teens be given complete information about their options. I would hope that any teen who wants to carry her pregnancy to term would be given appropriate support in every way that would enhance the chances of her having a healthy pregnancy and baby, as well as good mental health during and afterwards. I would encourage girls who haven't completed their education to stay in school or participate in some other form of formal education during their pregnancy (and afterwards). I would make clear to such a girl that adoption is a realistic option, be it open, closed or semi-open, that is very likely to produce positive outcomes for both the baby and for her.

I would also make it clear that rearing a child is hard, demanding work, and that the child deserves as competent a mother as possible. That said, I'd be as supportive and encouraging as possible if the girl decided to keep her baby, after she was informed about and encouraged to give strong consideration to adoption - but I would not encourage the decision to keep the baby. In other words, I'd support the girl and her child, and her right to make her own decision, not the decision itself (using "support" loosely here - not referring to $$$). But once that decision is made, the focus shifts onto the well-being of the child and the young mother.

As for abortion - I'd personally have an extremely hard time with a decision to abort a healthy fetus being carried by a girl of sixteen or older solely because of inconvenience/the age of the mother, and would most likely encourage such a girl to have her baby adopted instead, and support the girl as described above, with special emphasis on her healthcare during pregnancy. For younger girls, decisions would need to be made individually (this is assuming that pregnancy resulted from consensual sex, while recognizing that girls under sixteen are not legally able to consent to sex in most places. I am not referring to cases of rape, incest, or other sexual abuse).

Whatever decision was made, I would support the girl's right to make a fully informed decision, and would do my best to get the girl into whatever counseling might be appropriate and helpful both during and after her pregnancy, regardless of her choice, in addition to offering the forms of support discussed previously. Odds are against successful parenting at this tender age - but those odds can be overcome, if the young mother is determined to keep and raise her child.

But the best choice is to avoid teenage pregnancy all together, of course....

Last edited by CraigCreek; 05-18-2013 at 08:00 PM..
 
Old 05-18-2013, 08:39 PM
 
16,482 posts, read 21,073,633 times
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I would hope that none of my children became pregnant as a teen or had a girlfriend that was pregnant as a teen. I think it is a bad start into adulthood to go into it as a teen parent. Despite that I would support (and I don't mean financially) my child if that happened. It isn't going to do anyone any good for me to turn my back on my own child because of this, and I wouldn't anyway. No, I would not sign papers for them to get married in their teens. Just because there is a pregnancy doesn't mean that they have to marry.
 
Old 05-18-2013, 08:49 PM
 
1,472 posts, read 1,992,826 times
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Well me and my first wife married when she was 16.My Mom was 15 and a neighbor was 12.She became Grandma at 24.My Daughter left home at 15.

Don't have a problem with any of it.

brushrunner
 
Old 05-18-2013, 09:05 PM
 
1,851 posts, read 2,985,668 times
Reputation: 2365
No. I support the adoption. In cases where there is ample family support for the teen, it's still not an ideal situation. And these situations are rare. But American society has become too accepting of this and it frightens me how even in the decline of teenage pregnancy and motherhood, we have TV shows and magazines that showcase this epidemic in a celebrity-style manner.

In NYC, a campaign was started to educate teens about the pitfalls of pregnancy, really highlighting the realities of it. Planned Parenthood, of all organizations, was upset! When Planned Parenthood is upset over public campaigns designed to deter a behavior that is a social problem, for which they were created to help solve; then Houston, we have a problem!

City Can't Win on Teen Pregnancy

I don't support or promote teenage pregnancy or teenage motherhood and I agree that we are becoming too tolerant of this in our society.
 
Old 05-18-2013, 09:14 PM
 
Location: earth?
7,288 posts, read 10,849,575 times
Reputation: 8956
Quote:
Originally Posted by sheena12 View Post
On what basis? Is this something that you would welcome in your own family? Is it an option that you would want for your daughter?

Would you also sign the papers for your teenaged daughter to marry? If not, yet you would be OK with a pregnancy, why not? What is the difference?

I think that they are equally inappropriate. No difference.

There seem to be some fierce defenders of teenage parenting here. Almost all social scientists would classify it as a "social problem" and attempt to study it, in order to eradicate it, as one would with any epidemic.

Several people on this forum, seem to see it differently in spite of the fact that the outcomes are almost always dismal.

Please share your thoughts.

Also, if you agree with all mainstream sociologists and think that teen pregnancy is detrimental and problematic, please indicate that.
There are many factors to consider:

1) Biology and nature trump political ideas about who "should" get pregnant.
2) In the past, adoption was considered reasonable alternative to teen pregnancy because teen pregnancy was considered shameful - and the effects on the birth mother and bio child were not taken into consideration. These days people are more aware of the scars that are created by adoption for both the birth mother and child (not to mention, the father)
3) I doubt few people are "pro" teen parenting. Most families try to make the best of difficult situations.
4) One of the reasons teen parenting is detrimental to the teen and the child is because we as a society infanticize teens - we encourage them to be dependent. We don't teach life skills from an early age (or, for many, at any age).
5) If you believe in God and are against teen parenting, in effect you are saying God has no idea what he/she/it is doing because who's fault is it that "children" CAN have babies. Biology is destiny in the case of procreation.
6) If you don't believe in God, the same argument in number five above can be made for "nature." Nature always knows best
 
Old 05-18-2013, 09:18 PM
 
6,319 posts, read 5,714,983 times
Reputation: 11933
I support sex education and birth control - if you have that going on, you don't need to worry about adoption or unwanted teenage pregnancy.
 
Old 05-18-2013, 09:31 PM
 
11,151 posts, read 14,142,156 times
Reputation: 18796
Moderator Cut. Do I support teen pregnancy/motherhood? Not necessarily, but I'm not going to make a blanket statement that all teenage pregnancies are bad or that babies should be taken away from anyone under the age of 18/21/whatever.

Also, if we're going to blame reality TV shows like "Teen Mom," let's also point the finger at "Jersey Shore," which glamorizes bad behavior, "Keeping up with the Kardashians," which celebrates marriage-for-ratings and out-of-wedlock pregnancy, the entire "Real Housewives" franchise, infinitum ad nauseum -- not to mention every unmarried celebrity who proudly displays her "baby bump" like it's some kind of accomplishment.

Each and every one of them is a potential influence on impressionable youth.


Quote:
Originally Posted by CraigCreek View Post
I am not "for" teenage pregnancy, but think there is no one answer.

Whatever decision was made, I would support the girl's right to make a fully informed decision, and would do my best to get the girl into whatever counseling might be appropriate and helpful both during and after her pregnancy, regardless of her choice, in addition to offering the forms of support discussed previously. Odds are against successful parenting at this tender age - but those odds can be overcome, if the young mother is determined to keep and raise her child.

But the best choice is to avoid teenage pregnancy all together, of course....

I think Craig said it best.


.

Last edited by Jaded; 05-18-2013 at 10:59 PM.. Reason: Off-topic
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