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Old 09-09-2013, 09:44 AM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,484 posts, read 43,730,834 times
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This report made my blood boil. No regulation as long as money is not exchanged. Drop a kid off at a truck stop with strangers? I can't imagine how this can take place.
NBC News will be running these stores during the nightly news.

Investigations
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Old 09-09-2013, 02:15 PM
 
10,474 posts, read 8,417,014 times
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These scenarios concern me greatly, too. It seems that many adoptive parents have little knowledge of attachment disorder, which contributes to many of the difficulties described. In addition, it's not uncommon for children who've lived in institutional settings to have experienced abuse prior to being adopted, and to act out as a result, making them unsafe siblings for younger or smaller children. Kids with RAD can present as being extremely charming, affectionate, warm and friendly initially, only to reverse their behavior completely once home. There are various degrees of RAD, of course, and each case is individual. However, there needs to be much greater awareness of this problem, and better resources for families dealing with it.

And obviously, there needs to be much tighter control of just who can receive custody of a child, once the legal parents/guardians have decided they can no longer parent.

The Eason woman described here is a horror - her involvement in the "rehoming" community makes it very clear just how badly such changes are needed. I am surprised that she was as forthcoming as she apparently was to the investigative reporters, though she's clearly lying about much of her behavior and circumstances.

I'm glad to see this extensive report and hope it gets the attention it deserves, for the sake of the children - and the families who are moved to desperate measures because of them.
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Old 09-09-2013, 03:28 PM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,484 posts, read 43,730,834 times
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i blame the greedy adoption agencies and the facilitators overseas who look upon children as commodities which earn them fees. Too many think Westerners and especially Americans are desperate for foreign children and have tons of money to throw around.

We are also dealing with cultural differences.

As long as their is big money to be made in international adoption, agencies will turn a blind eye to real problems and will take short cuts in vetting prospective adoptive parents. It is obvious some of these adoptive parents are in denial about problems especially with older children. More oversight is called for to make sure these children don't get lost in the system or passed around from abusive home to abusive home.

As I read the entire article I burst into tears to think of my precious daughters ever being mistreated or abused because they were less than perfect. My heart breaks for these poor children who have had such a sorry experience with adoption on top of miserable beginnings in the first place. We must push for punishments and laws which will keep this sort of thing from happening. These reports are very important and I hope they push people to work for change. The children of the world deserve so much better.
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Old 09-09-2013, 10:34 PM
 
Location: Illinois
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I am generally against foreign adoption (for my own reasons - I'm not judging anyone on this forum) and this just reinforces my beliefs.
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Old 09-10-2013, 03:13 AM
 
1,851 posts, read 2,985,397 times
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I saw this on TV last night. Absolutely horrible. Unbelievable that this occurs and more oversight needs to be done for International adoptions. You cannot/should not be able to "re-home" without any third party intervention; no paperwork, no legal review?? I understand in rare circumstances some children who are adopted internationally may need additional support and families may need support as well, but to simply advertise that you no longer want or can raise the child you brought to the USA from another country and then drop him/her off with another person/family? I was shocked and appalled.
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Old 09-10-2013, 02:27 PM
 
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Tonight's program will deal with the reasons children are given up for "rehoming", and should be watched to gain a more complete picture of the problem.
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Old 09-10-2013, 03:54 PM
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
18,633 posts, read 23,219,501 times
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I just thought that I should point out that there are several ethical agencies who do help find homes for the children of disruption. They are not involved in any sort of underground network nor are they doing anything illegal.

Off the top of my head I can think of one. Wasatch Adoption located in Utah has been involved in this for years and they are a licensed and accredited agency. They have many success stories to their name.

I also want to point out that giving up on one's children is not unique to the international adoption community or the adoption community as a whole.

Many biological families also do this in ways that may not involve an underground network of child swappers.

What about parents who have difficult and defiant teenagers (or teens that they perceive to be difficult) who throw them out on the street? I've had several of those in my home. Is it legal to kick a child out of your home? It depends upon where you live.

Also what about biological parents who dispose of their children from a first relationship when they remarry? They decide to "start fresh" and know that step parent isn't crazy about another man or woman? How do they relieve themselves of parental responsibilities?

I have seen all of the following ways -

1. kicking them out on the street.

2. boarding school

3. Manufacturing a psychiatric diagnosis. It's not hard to do if a person knows what to say and how to proceed - and having them committed to a psychiatric facility. I have seen this done with kids as young as nine. They are entitled to complete school while in many hospitals. (I worked at two while I was a nurse that had public schools on the hospital site)

4. Doing the same with a manufactured or greatly exaggerated substance abuse issue.

5. Sending the child of a previous relationship to live with relatives because they have become inconvenient. The child still feels horribly rejected.

6. Killing the child.

These things are all despicable. They are also quite common.

People who do not believe that parenthood is a lifetime commitment and that a teenager with no skills or money is as lost on his own as is a younger child.

It goes without saying that this underground "re-homing" is despicable on the part of the parents. The people who seek these children frequently are not of the highest moral character. Or they can not pass a home study. Or they are sexual predictors.

Last night I did some research about this topic. On the web site of an accredited agency (not Wasatch but the name escapes me) I saw the photograph of a darling little girl wearing a lovely and expensive looking pink dress. She was sitting on a matching blanket and was smiling. Her pretty face was framed with lovely dark hair.

She was only four.

Honestly for a moment I thought that we should look into this little girl!

Then I read the background information. This little girl regularly told her mother that she "hated her" and wanted to "kill her with a knife". One night she was found hovering over the babies crib while holding a knife.

After that all knives had to be locked. She was successful in giving her infant sibling a concussion. There was more.

I don't know what I would do if I adopted or gave birth to a child like that.

Perhaps finding another home with an experienced family who has no younger children - especially at an early age is the best approach. If they continue to try and to fail with a daughter who clearly does not like them - especially the mother and the baby - and fail to bond with her - it is easier to find her another family as a four year old than as a fourteen year old.

I do not judge these people at all. I am sure that such a choice is very difficult.
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Old 09-11-2013, 04:37 AM
 
1,851 posts, read 2,985,397 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CraigCreek View Post
Tonight's program will deal with the reasons children are given up for "rehoming", and should be watched to gain a more complete picture of the problem.
I missed it. I'll have to find it online.
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Old 09-11-2013, 05:38 AM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,484 posts, read 43,730,834 times
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Here it is Jaded. I always watch NBC News the next morning while I switch back and forth between CBS and ABC in real time. Guess that makes me a new junkie!

NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams
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Old 09-11-2013, 08:51 AM
 
1,516 posts, read 1,845,962 times
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This whole situation is very sad. I found the clip on the Texas family quite interesting. Frankly, not sure how the adoptive parents didn't see the red flags and I'm glad they stepped in to retrieve their daughter from this couple. As the father said in the interview, they were desperate and people make some bad choices when desperate.

Also found Sheena's link on Wasatch quite interesting and the case studies were quite sad. I can also see how it happens and sometimes, finding a new family for a child is a last resort. Adoption disruption is very sad but sometimes, may be the best thing for the child and the adoptive family. Reading through the Wasatch website, I was happy to hear that some of these children found homes with families more suited to take care of the children.

As a parent of a RAD child, it is extraordinary difficult. Frankly, early on in the adoption, we did look at adoption disruption but decided to soldier on. Life hasn't been easy. My husband said to me the other night, "Our life has been miserable for almost 10 years." It is true. There are good moments but there are lots and lots of bad moments too. Learning to walk on egg shells has been hard for the whole family. Fortunately, our problems aren't as extreme as some of the more severe RAD kids. If they were, not sure what we would do. As any parent of a child with difficulties, especially mental/behavioral, you feel trapped. Finding resources isn't always the easiest thing. If things reach a crisis point with the child, things can become very confusing. Where do you turn? Fortunately, we got a crisis number from our school, called the hotline during one of our crisis moments and received services for a year. Moving to a new state, I see things starting to flare up again. I'm going to have to get prepared and see where I can reach out. It is quite difficult.

Getting back to the original topic though....it is disconcerting that this happens and my heart does go out to these children. They've been through so much in their short lives.
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