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Old 12-09-2014, 05:40 PM
 
Location: Central Illinois -
21,362 posts, read 14,264,551 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rynldsbr View Post
If you kept your name throughout the original adoption, and the biological parents are passed, I don't understand the benefits. Just because someone's name would be removed from a document? That seems like a lot of time and trouble to take someones name off a document that is only used on occasion to prove your identity, not theirs.
That may be so, but it means two things to me:

1) I get my original B.C. back, the one with my mothers name on it. Through no fault of hers, she passed away when I was young, of breast cancer.

2) The person who adopted me was an abusive person who I generally despise, and I don't want their name on my B.C., and I don't want any association with them. And I want to make it official.

If I can do this, I likely will. But I don't know if there is an attorney who will take on this case, or if I can afford (or am willing to pay) the financial cost of doing so.

Thanks to everyone for the suggestions so far, I appreciate everyones input.
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Old 12-10-2014, 08:21 AM
 
Location: Howard County, Maryland
1,539 posts, read 1,709,398 times
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How incredibly painful for you. I understand why this is important to you and I wish you luck in accomplishing this. I'm sorry I cannot offer any advice however just wanted you to know I support you.
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Old 12-10-2014, 01:46 PM
 
769 posts, read 622,634 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by odanny View Post
That may be so, but it means two things to me:

1) I get my original B.C. back, the one with my mothers name on it. Through no fault of hers, she passed away when I was young, of breast cancer.

2) The person who adopted me was an abusive person who I generally despise, and I don't want their name on my B.C., and I don't want any association with them. And I want to make it official.

If I can do this, I likely will. But I don't know if there is an attorney who will take on this case, or if I can afford (or am willing to pay) the financial cost of doing so.

Thanks to everyone for the suggestions so far, I appreciate everyones input.

that still doesn't change the fact that your mom didn't raise you, and doesn't change the fact your adopted parents were abusive.

changing your BC will not change what has already happened.

If you want to honor your birth mother, do it another way, but re-adding here to your BC is going to do what ? make you feel better in your head ?

your getting way to caught up in a BC

I've glanced at mine once or twice in my life, even though my mom "bailed" on us when I was 14, I could care less weather her name is on the BC ..

Removing my mother from the BC wouldn't change the fact that she left, or ... .. I just don't get it .
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Old 12-10-2014, 04:27 PM
 
194 posts, read 332,630 times
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No advice, just wishing you peace in your quest! Both of my boys have amended BCs. I never thought it would be an issue, but time will tell.
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Old 12-11-2014, 10:21 AM
 
Location: North Idaho
22,505 posts, read 28,404,027 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 191185 View Post
.........I've glanced at mine once or twice in my life, even though my mom "bailed" on us when I was 14, I could care less weather her name is on the BC ..

Removing my mother from the BC wouldn't change the fact that she left, or ... .. I just don't get it .
Just because you don't see the point, that doesn't mean that nobody else could want to have their birth certificate changed. We don't all feel exactly like you do.

And that was your birth mother? You really can't see the difference between knowing who your birth mother is and not knowing?
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Old 12-11-2014, 05:07 PM
 
3,072 posts, read 4,258,573 times
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Odanny,

I do not believe it is legally possible when the desired parents (in your case, biological) are deceased. Adoption reversals for adults, on rare occasion, do occur - but when the parties are living and consent.
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Old 12-11-2014, 06:35 PM
 
Location: Central Illinois -
21,362 posts, read 14,264,551 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aliss2 View Post
Odanny,

I do not believe it is legally possible when the desired parents (in your case, biological) are deceased. Adoption reversals for adults, on rare occasion, do occur - but when the parties are living and consent.
I don't think it would make any difference if my birth parents were alive or dead. It might make a difference if the adoptive parent (singular) were deceased, but this person is alive, and I'm fairly sure I could convince them to agree to a reversal.

I don't know where to find a lawyer who would take on the case, and it would be nice to find someone who has done it before. I don't trust a lawyer to do this for a reasonable fee, though, nor do I know where to even ask for one, there is no one local to talk to.
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Old 12-12-2014, 08:02 AM
 
3,072 posts, read 4,258,573 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by odanny View Post
I don't think it would make any difference if my birth parents were alive or dead. It might make a difference if the adoptive parent (singular) were deceased, but this person is alive, and I'm fairly sure I could convince them to agree to a reversal.

I don't know where to find a lawyer who would take on the case, and it would be nice to find someone who has done it before. I don't trust a lawyer to do this for a reasonable fee, though, nor do I know where to even ask for one, there is no one local to talk to.
Well, there are lawyer referral numbers that can provide leads.

But yes, it matters immensely that they are deceased. You are in a nutshell, asking that a person becomes a parent again. I do not see how you can demand a person be placed on a birth certificate and become a legal parent when they are deceased (thus unable to consent or even be notified via publication/service).

You would be asking to do something that would violate court procedure.
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Old 12-12-2014, 08:17 AM
 
9,129 posts, read 9,215,624 times
Reputation: 28591
Quote:
Originally Posted by odanny View Post
I don't think it would make any difference if my birth parents were alive or dead. It might make a difference if the adoptive parent (singular) were deceased, but this person is alive, and I'm fairly sure I could convince them to agree to a reversal.

I don't know where to find a lawyer who would take on the case, and it would be nice to find someone who has done it before. I don't trust a lawyer to do this for a reasonable fee, though, nor do I know where to even ask for one, there is no one local to talk to.
You talk about doing something which is highly unusual and probably not permitted by the statutes and you expect a lawyer to take it for a "reasonable fee". There would be many hours of work involved in doing something this novel.

You probably can't find someone who has done this before because where you live because it may never have been done before in your state or locality.

I don't know what your idea of a "reasonable fee" is. Lawyers, like anyone else, shouldn't be expected to give away their time. If you can find someone to do it, a legal problem this unusual is going to cost you. Better accept that fact now, or just give it up as a pipe dream.

Last edited by markg91359; 12-12-2014 at 09:26 AM..
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Old 12-12-2014, 06:16 PM
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
18,586 posts, read 23,117,825 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nmnita View Post
I think I am a little confused: I understand you are estranged from you adoptive parents but legally they are still you parents. You do not have to have anything to do with them, she can have contact with your biological parent but to get the adoption reversed seems like something that really has nothing to do with anything. How about adult kids who have nothing to do with their biological parents, they don't seem to be pushing to change thier last names cause they no longer want to be part of a family. That being said, you can try the website susankate suggested and see what happens from there. I certainly hope it works out for you and hope you have the funds to pay for it. I am guessing, if it can be done, it isn't going to be cheap.
This makes sense to me.

If you are estranged from your parents - the people who raised you, the legal ones - you are under no obligation to see them.

Most adults do not have much need to whip out their birth certificates except when getting a passport. I keep mine in a safe.

I'll never understand this obsession with birth certificates. You love and associate with whom you wish. You are an adult. Move on.
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