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Old 01-06-2015, 05:33 AM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,470 posts, read 43,447,210 times
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As the adopted mother of a precious Korean baby at 3 months who is now a terrific woman of 31 this article breaks my heart. Such good intentions were obviously going to lead to orphanages overflowing with children. The brave South Koreans who are trying to break this social misconception are to be admired but still the government should allow more children to be adopted overseas if good homes can be found.

BBC News - Taking on South Korea's adoption taboo
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Old 01-06-2015, 06:05 AM
 
Location: Howard County, Maryland
1,539 posts, read 1,703,052 times
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It's very sad. I had no idea the importance on family lines in Korea; particularly related to employment. I've known for awhile that Asians in general disapprove of adoption. Our area has a heavy Asian immigrant population and in conversing with moms at school functions or through work, I get a negative vibe. I've seen adoptive parents with Chinese children shunned several times. I always thought it was because they didn't want the child to lose their cultural identity; which is somewhat understandable. I didn't fully understand the shame associated with it and the perception that these children as somehow "less than". 7 years ago we nearly adopted from South Korea but ultimately, our daughter was born in the U.S. I can't comment on the Asian community without adding that many Americans have their own issues with adoption that our now transracial family encounters. We have made so much progress but it's still hard sometimes. How has your child been received by the Korean community in the U.S.?
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Old 01-06-2015, 06:33 AM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,470 posts, read 43,447,210 times
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Actually she has had very little contact with any Koreans. I always took her and our two Vietnamese girls to Asian clerks, hairdressers, doctors, anybody to let them know there are many Asians in our community. All three have friends of every race.

I have to add that I spent about 2+ months in Vietnam for our two adoptions and I got nothing but encouragement and positive vibes from Vietnamese people. They all fussed over the babies, tried to cover their feet and heads even when it was sweltering hot. Waitresses wanted to hold them while I ate and hotel staff went out of their way to accommodate us. I found no negativity at all there.

Our Korean daughter was escorted home by Eastern Airlines volunteers and placed in my arms at the Atlanta airport on new years eve.
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Old 01-06-2015, 12:36 PM
 
Location: Howard County, Maryland
1,539 posts, read 1,703,052 times
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The school district my kids are in is roughly 30% Asian with the majority of the kids not born in the U.S. so its been eye opening to get their opinions and seeing into their culture without being there myself. I'm glad you had such a positive experience in Vietnam. Thanks for sharing your children's experience; its nice to see what older transracially adopted children have experienced, my daughter is just 7. And, funny coincidence, she became "ours" on New Years Eve
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Old 01-10-2015, 10:41 AM
 
Location: Wonderland
44,181 posts, read 35,697,872 times
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My brother is adopted from Korea (adopted in 1969) and my grandson was adopted from Korea five years ago! My brother was nearly three when he came into our home, but my grandson was only ten months old. Ironically, they were both adopted from the same orphanage and through the same organization (Holt).

Even more ironically, my oldest son recently married a Korean girl. So - our family has a lot of Korean influence in it - which was never expected or really a goal we sought, but we're all the richer for it.

I have a lot of admiration for the two young women who put my brother and my grandson up for adoption in spite of the social stigma. In both cases, it was the better option and I can't imagine my life without both of these guys in it!

But wow - those overseas adoptions are complex and expensive - even before the law changes in 2012 it was difficult and very time consuming. I am so grateful that we "got" our grandson prior to the changes in the law!

The biggest issue I see with the new laws is that children end up staying with foster families for longer, and are adopted at an older age. This is tough on the kids. There was a huge difference in the "emotional baggage" my brother had (adopted at nearly three years old) and the minimal "baggage" my grandson had (adopted at 10 months).

Last edited by KathrynAragon; 01-10-2015 at 10:50 AM..
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Old 02-10-2015, 02:08 PM
 
Location: Howard County, Maryland
5,589 posts, read 3,582,364 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cjmeck View Post
It's very sad. I had no idea the importance on family lines in Korea; particularly related to employment. I've known for awhile that Asians in general disapprove of adoption. Our area has a heavy Asian immigrant population and in conversing with moms at school functions or through work, I get a negative vibe. I've seen adoptive parents with Chinese children shunned several times. I always thought it was because they didn't want the child to lose their cultural identity; which is somewhat understandable. I didn't fully understand the shame associated with it and the perception that these children as somehow "less than". 7 years ago we nearly adopted from South Korea but ultimately, our daughter was born in the U.S. I can't comment on the Asian community without adding that many Americans have their own issues with adoption that our now transracial family encounters. We have made so much progress but it's still hard sometimes. How has your child been received by the Korean community in the U.S.?
That's really interesting. I live in the same county as you do, and my two kids were adopted from South Korea; yet I've gotten nothing but positive feedback from the general Asian community. I've even gotten the "Your kids are so lucky you adopted them" line several times, from Asian people. (I always counter with "Actually, we're the lucky ones.") My Korean friends all tell me that very few Koreans (in Korea) will adopt, and that they (my friends) would much rather the kids get adopted by a white American family than languish in an orphanage.

My experience has been that while Asians (the ones born and raised in Asia) aren't all that keen on adopting, they don't have a problem with someone else doing it.
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Old 02-10-2015, 02:29 PM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,470 posts, read 43,447,210 times
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We took our 3 month old Korean daughter to a Korean pediatrician in Atlanta. As he was examining her he said to her "What a lucky little girl you are"
We both said "No we think we are the lucky ones"
Doc looked up at us and said "You know. I think you really mean it. Adoption in Korea is not so positive..not like here."
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Old 02-10-2015, 02:31 PM
 
Location: Southeast Michigan
1,123 posts, read 954,503 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bus man View Post
That's really interesting. I live in the same county as you do, and my two kids were adopted from South Korea; yet I've gotten nothing but positive feedback from the general Asian community. I've even gotten the "Your kids are so lucky you adopted them" line several times, from Asian people. (I always counter with "Actually, we're the lucky ones.") My Korean friends all tell me that very few Koreans (in Korea) will adopt, and that they (my friends) would much rather the kids get adopted by a white American family than languish in an orphanage.

My experience has been that while Asians (the ones born and raised in Asia) aren't all that keen on adopting, they don't have a problem with someone else doing it.
Similar feedback from the Korean community, here.
Our experiences have been wonderful all around! I will never, ever forget the joy of that experience at JFK airport, even though it has been over thirty years. Still gives me chills.
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Old 02-10-2015, 02:37 PM
 
Location: Southeast Michigan
1,123 posts, read 954,503 times
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I agree, it is in the best interest of these children to be raised in loving homes, rather than in foster homes or orphanages. Sadly, my daughter and her husband have interest in adopting from Korea but so far are very discouraged by the difficulties involved (sky-high costs, few children available) at present.
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Old 02-11-2015, 07:13 AM
 
Location: Howard County, Maryland
5,589 posts, read 3,582,364 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mgkeith View Post
I agree, it is in the best interest of these children to be raised in loving homes, rather than in foster homes or orphanages. Sadly, my daughter and her husband have interest in adopting from Korea but so far are very discouraged by the difficulties involved (sky-high costs, few children available) at present.
What's so frustrating is that the "scarcity" of adoptable kids is mainly due to governmental policies. Apparently, it somehow plays better on the domestic front (politically speaking) to have the kids in orphanages than to allow them to be adopted internationally.

Mind you, I fully recognize the right of the Korean government to establish their own adoption policies. I just can't figure out how anyone at all benefits from the policies they've put in place. I've asked some of my Korean friends about it, and none of them think that it's good for the kids. As for how it benefits the government, they basically tell me that, in so many words, "It's a Korean thing; you wouldn't understand."
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