Actress Kate Mulgrew discusses the daughter she placed for adoption decades ago. (birth, parents)
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I was watching Ryan's Hope at that time but of course, it was before the internet. It wasn't until years later it was written about in the paper. She must be one ferocious woman to have lived the life she has. I think this is one book I won't wait for in paperback.
I read the article. It's beautiful. I'm an adoptive mom of internationally adopted children. When looking into adoption at first I didn't like the idea of an open adoption. But now, I wish it was much more open. We have one "open" adoption (letters and photos but it's international) and one closed where we couldn't find the birth mom if we had a million dollars to try. And she made it clear she didn't want to be found.
My kids don't know all those details but you can see the peace my child with an open adoption has that my "closed adoption" child just doesn't have. It breaks my heart. If it's what is best for the kids, it should be open...
I read the article. It's beautiful. I'm an adoptive mom of internationally adopted children. When looking into adoption at first I didn't like the idea of an open adoption. But now, I wish it was much more open. We have one "open" adoption (letters and photos but it's international) and one closed where we couldn't find the birth mom if we had a million dollars to try. And she made it clear she didn't want to be found.
My kids don't know all those details but you can see the peace my child with an open adoption has that my "closed adoption" child just doesn't have. It breaks my heart. If it's what is best for the kids, it should be open...
I have to disagree. If the woman doesn't want to be found, then she shouldn't be looked for.
Things might not be so cheery for the child in question if she or he finds out that Mom was raped, or the birth was a result of incest, or Mom has mental or emotional problems, or drug problems, or Dad is a hood, or a criminal, etc etc etc.
All is not necessarily sweetness and light in the real (as opposed to the imaginary) world of the birth parents - and having the added stress of unwanted contact isn't going to make things any better for anyone concerned.
I agree with you NeonGecko. Think how much damage can be done to the psyche of a child if he found out some really terrible/criminal/mental illness background and projected this issue onto himself. And I think any woman who asks not to be contacted or known should have that right to have her privacy honored.
And again as far as the differences in the two adopted children of HighFlyingBird---this very well could simply be chalked up to the differences in the personalities of the two children.
I have to disagree. If the woman doesn't want to be found, then she shouldn't be looked for.
Things might not be so cheery for the child in question if she or he finds out that Mom was raped, or the birth was a result of incest, or Mom has mental or emotional problems, or drug problems, or Dad is a hood, or a criminal, etc etc etc.
All is not necessarily sweetness and light in the real (as opposed to the imaginary) world of the birth parents - and having the added stress of unwanted contact isn't going to make things any better for anyone concerned.
I disagree. Of course we don't disclose things the child isn't ready to handle, and we keep them safe at all costs. But the questions are worse then the answers. As an adult, do you prefer not to know a hard truth? I don't. You can't grieve something you don't know. It leaves it as an open wound.
I wouldn't look for the birthmom as it is against her wishes.
If, however, my daughter as an adult wants to search for her birthmom, I would support that. She didn't make the deal I did. I agreed to a closed adoption, she didn't.
I saw her interview yesterday on CBS Sunday Morning. Very honest, open and candid about her past and her experiences. Very fascinating interview.
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