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Old 07-31-2015, 04:37 PM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,479 posts, read 43,610,229 times
Reputation: 47220

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They are Vietnamese and 13 years old. We have a community swimming pool where 13 and above can swim without a parent or guardian. they enjoy walking to the pool and most of the time they are the only ones there. They both can swim and neither one, either separately or together, are wild or disruptive. Keys are required to open the entrance gate. Of course that is how they got in.

Today they came back after only 20 minutes saying this happened: BTW-again they were the only ones there.
Three men in suits were having a meeting in the club house.
One came out and asked them if they lived in the neighborhood. They answered yes and told him where and said they were swimming till their parents could join them.
The man told them to leave. He said he was on the "management team". He never asked how old they were or told them why. He was not part of the HOA since my husband is a member and everybody on the Board or in the neighborhood know our girls. I'm thinking he may be part of the swimming pool management team or something else.

I wrote out a note and sent them right back there and told them to give it to anybody who ever questioned them again. I gave our names, phone numbers and address in the note with instructions to call us if they questioned the right of our girls to be there.

I'm just wondering if the fact our girls are dark skinned had anything to do with it. I'm usually not at all sensitive about race issues for our girls since we live in a very progressive community.
If it was a matter of age, why didn't he ask?
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Old 07-31-2015, 11:17 PM
 
5,048 posts, read 6,913,835 times
Reputation: 4146
If your husband is a member of the HOA, aren't you and your girls as well?

I have to say I'd be down at the pool immediately asking the men's names, nicely at first if it got me further. Asking whether they were on the board or what their position of authority in your HOA they held. Suits at the pool. If they were meeting there as reps from a company or waiting on others who were renting the space for a meeting, I'd let the board know there is something wrong there. I would ask why they did this. If they are prejudiced. That the girls with homeowner parents paying dues for pool membership had more of a right to the pool if those men in suits are not residents. Then I'd take photos and let the local media interview them and sort out whether it would make a good story or not. Stories about sad ethnic children turned away from their pool can get a lot of coverage in the doldrums of summer.
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Old 08-01-2015, 05:27 AM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,479 posts, read 43,610,229 times
Reputation: 47220
DH is head of the Architecture Committee which OKs fences, out building, that sort of thing. I guess we , as a family, are all members of the HOA.

I'm currently on 6 weeks of infusion therapy with a tube coming out of my chest(heart) for 6 daily infusions of antibiotics or I would have scampered up there myself. DH was taking a much needed nap. We discussed it and he will get in touch with the President of the HOA to find out who the people were and he will handle it from there. he can be so much more diplomatic about things than I am.

Thank you for your comment.
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Old 08-01-2015, 06:47 AM
 
5,048 posts, read 6,913,835 times
Reputation: 4146
Hope all goes well.

Realize you and all your neighbors are all members of the Homeowners Association in which you live and pay dues. The Homeowners Association then elects a board of directors (and sometimes residents don't even know how that happens) and the board appoints various interested residents to committees.

Someone once told me there's diplomacy and then there's diplomacy. Sometimes the traditional works. Sometimes it includes really getting the point across just without physical fighting or shouting.

In my experience there are diplomatic HOA boards because they are made up of a majority of diplomatic residents. Other times....no where near.

Again,all the best and keep us posted if you have a chance.
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Old 08-01-2015, 07:09 AM
 
1,614 posts, read 1,210,857 times
Reputation: 2646
Sorry this happened to your children. I would wait for an explanation. Maybe he felt since no lifeguards provided the children may have looked too young to be there alone. Just another angle and hope this was the case. The way I see things is, and I've been here along time, humans still are just that with all their flaws, and changing the laws, political correctness, making love not war, all people equal, are only as good as the individuals who agree with them. The rest of the world behave the same , so not just a USA issue.
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Old 08-01-2015, 01:13 PM
 
Location: Liberal Coast
4,277 posts, read 5,157,324 times
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How in the world is that racial? They probably wanted to have a closed door meeting of some sort and would have told any child to leave.
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Old 08-01-2015, 01:16 PM
 
785 posts, read 460,971 times
Reputation: 2639
Quote:
Originally Posted by no kudzu View Post
They are Vietnamese and 13 years old. We have a community swimming pool where 13 and above can swim without a parent or guardian. they enjoy walking to the pool and most of the time they are the only ones there. They both can swim and neither one, either separately or together, are wild or disruptive. Keys are required to open the entrance gate. Of course that is how they got in.

Today they came back after only 20 minutes saying this happened: BTW-again they were the only ones there.
Three men in suits were having a meeting in the club house.
One came out and asked them if they lived in the neighborhood. They answered yes and told him where and said they were swimming till their parents could join them.
The man told them to leave. He said he was on the "management team". He never asked how old they were or told them why. He was not part of the HOA since my husband is a member and everybody on the Board or in the neighborhood know our girls. I'm thinking he may be part of the swimming pool management team or something else.

I wrote out a note and sent them right back there and told them to give it to anybody who ever questioned them again. I gave our names, phone numbers and address in the note with instructions to call us if they questioned the right of our girls to be there.

I'm just wondering if the fact our girls are dark skinned had anything to do with it. I'm usually not at all sensitive about race issues for our girls since we live in a very progressive community.
If it was a matter of age, why didn't he ask?
Most likely he just assumed they were under 13. Don't go looking for issues without real evidence.
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Old 08-01-2015, 01:26 PM
 
Location: North Idaho
22,539 posts, read 28,465,576 times
Reputation: 43384
Are they small? It was probably that they don't look old enough not that they have darker skin.

Some adults don't like child noises. There was no parent there to stand up for your kids, thus easy to bully them. Again that has nothing to do with race.
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Old 08-01-2015, 02:44 PM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,479 posts, read 43,610,229 times
Reputation: 47220
The man had to come out of the closed building which is our club house to run my daughters off and it is quite a distance from the pool so I know it wasn't a case of wanting to have a quiet meeting and would have run any kids out-which... BTW they cannot do. Pool rules state clearly kids 13 and above can swim without parent or guardian present. Both girls have breasts and hips but were in modest 1 piece suits. One wondered out loud if they had on bikinis if they would have been approached like that.
DH has written this up asking the president of the HOA to tell her what happened and wondering why. Hopefully she will give us more information.

Of course I haven't let our daughters know of our concerns but they were confused and disappointed about why they were run off in the first place.
I'll let you know what happens.
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Old 08-01-2015, 02:53 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
42,754 posts, read 41,477,394 times
Reputation: 82210
Quote:
Originally Posted by no kudzu View Post

One wondered out loud if they had on bikinis if they would have been approached like that.
Why did she wonder this???
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