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Old 08-04-2015, 03:59 PM
 
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We've been researching and have decided that we don't want an open adoption. We are interested in sibling groups and/or children that are school age. We have a family that the children would be lovingly welcomed into. So we don't want to be required to keep regular contact with the family of origin while we're raising the kids.

My question: Does anyone know the best way to find an adoption agency that would most fit our profile? Any recommendations on how to go about our search?
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Old 08-04-2015, 08:48 PM
 
Location: Howard County, Maryland
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You are more likely to be able to do a closed adoption internationally than domestically. So, one place to start would be to research the various international adoption programs out there, and see if there are one or two particular counties that you would be especially interested in. Then you could look for agencies that specialize in adoptions from those countries.

I have friends who adopted a sibling pair from Guatemala, then another sibling trio from El Salvador. All 5 of the kids were school age when they came home. So maybe those are two countries you could check into. (Last I heard, Guatemala was closed; but you may want to check, as that sort of thing can change from time to time.)
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Old 08-04-2015, 09:47 PM
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bus man View Post
You are more likely to be able to do a closed adoption internationally than domestically. So, one place to start would be to research the various international adoption programs out there, and see if there are one or two particular counties that you would be especially interested in. Then you could look for agencies that specialize in adoptions from those countries.

I have friends who adopted a sibling pair from Guatemala, then another sibling trio from El Salvador. All 5 of the kids were school age when they came home. So maybe those are two countries you could check into. (Last I heard, Guatemala was closed; but you may want to check, as that sort of thing can change from time to time.)

I agree with bus man. There are very few domestic adoptions of older children that are closed.

The best newer Western Hemisphere program that I have found is Guyana. No visa. Relatively easy paper work. Flexible as to parental age. Many sibling groups available. Less expensive air fair than Eastern Europe, Africa and Asia.

I know of one agency that has opened a program in Guyana. They have already brought children home.

Guatemala is closed.
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Old 08-04-2015, 10:00 PM
 
Location: Liberal Coast
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Even adoptions through foster care have extended family contact. It may not be with the birth parents, but there is often a requirement of contact with siblings of grandparents.

I agree with the others that if you want no contact at all, go international. A number of people I know who have adopted from Ukraine do have contact with birth parents (children with special needs who parents really didn't have a choice but to "abandon" due to culture and medical care), but the adoptive parents are the ones who initiated contact.
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Old 08-05-2015, 08:46 AM
 
Location: East Coast
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Many people enter the adoption world thinking they don't want any contact with birthfamilies, but later on change their mind after they learn and realize how much better it is for the child. I adopted my child internationally (partly because I thought I wanted no involvement from the birthmother), but now we are going to do a search to try to find her. I do want my child to meet her and know her, and I am very sad that he does not know anything about her. Many families who adopt internationally end up doing searches and some have well-established relationships with birth families.

That said, in the U.S., very few older children would be available through any agencies that do private adoptions. You'd be more likely to find them through the foster care system, and you can join online groups for foster care, and google foster care in your state. (And go to adoptuskids.com) Contact with birthfamilies in these cases raises all kinds of complications, as the children have been removed from family care for a reason. But sometimes the children do have important relationships with some member of the biological family, who for whatever reason are not able to care for them (for example, a very elderly grandparent who may not be physically capable of caring for the children, but has a relationship with them). You really have to explore this on a case by case basis.

International adoption overall is in a state of upheaval, with many bad actors having gotten involved. Sadly, children who really are in need of adoption are not available, due to no one wanting to put in the effort to get the paperwork in order and confirming that parents have in fact died or abandoned the children. Instead, many of the children who are adopted are put into the system due to trickery, often with birth parents having been lied to and tricked into relinquishing rights, which is just a bad situation for everyone involved.

Get involved with as many adoption groups as you can find. I'd also suggest reading the adoption magazines that are out there -- like Adoption Today, Adoptive Families and Foster Families, to get a sense of what is out there. But don't fall for any of the 'rainbows and roses' pictures that many adoption groups sell you. Talk to real families who have been in the trenches. Older child adoption is especially complicated, as the children by definition have suffered trauma to be available for adoption. Go into this fully prepared.
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Old 08-05-2015, 08:52 AM
 
Location: Warren, OH
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Quote:
Originally Posted by psr13 View Post
Even adoptions through foster care have extended family contact. It may not be with the birth parents, but there is often a requirement of contact with siblings of grandparents.

I agree with the others that if you want no contact at all, go international. A number of people I know who have adopted from Ukraine do have contact with birth parents (children with special needs who parents really didn't have a choice but to "abandon" due to culture and medical care), but the adoptive parents are the ones who initiated contact.

That;s there choice. I know many who do not. Since we hosted quite a few children from Ukraine over a peried of three Summers, we know many families in the Ukraine adoption community.

I know of know one who has contact with the family. Most were removed for serious abuse and neglect. Every child over a certain age was motivated to find a new forever family.

Having seem Ukraine paper work, names of parents are frequently redacted.

However, these were not special needs children - except for their age. So that might be different.

I'm afraid of adoption from Ukraine because of the situation with Russia. I know of inexpensive facilitator lead programs that are still up and running. However, if Putin takes over, there kids will be Russian and the adoption will be over.

I'd also suggest that the OP subscribe to "Adoptive Families" magazine. Or is it adoptive parents? We used to have a subscription.
They were pretty even handed when it came to the "open" and "closed" debate.

Other resources are Rainbow Kids (online) and (Precious in His Sight) - I think the second one is still around.
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Old 08-05-2015, 12:59 PM
 
Location: Liberal Coast
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Originally Posted by warren zee View Post
That;s there choice. I know many who do not. Since we hosted quite a few children from Ukraine over a peried of three Summers, we know many families in the Ukraine adoption community.

I know of know one who has contact with the family. Most were removed for serious abuse and neglect. Every child over a certain age was motivated to find a new forever family.

Having seem Ukraine paper work, names of parents are frequently redacted.

However, these were not special needs children - except for their age. So that might be different.

I'm afraid of adoption from Ukraine because of the situation with Russia. I know of inexpensive facilitator lead programs that are still up and running. However, if Putin takes over, there kids will be Russian and the adoption will be over.

I'd also suggest that the OP subscribe to "Adoptive Families" magazine. Or is it adoptive parents? We used to have a subscription.
They were pretty even handed when it came to the "open" and "closed" debate.

Other resources are Rainbow Kids (online) and (Precious in His Sight) - I think the second one is still around.
It's not likely that Putin will take over. In fact, adoptions are even happening in certain parts of Donetsk again, which is one of the heaviest fought in areas. Yes, adoptions would end if Russia took over Ukraine as happened in Crimea.
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Old 08-05-2015, 01:29 PM
 
Location: East Coast
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Quote:
Originally Posted by warren zee View Post


Other resources are Rainbow Kids (online) and (Precious in His Sight) - I think the second one is still around.
Have to disagree with this. Photolistings are always a red flag and those two sites in particular were rife with corrupt facilitators and agencies. You can look at them to fantasize, but stay far away from them if you actually pursue an adoption.
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Old 08-05-2015, 05:26 PM
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
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The OP is seeking an agency that does not deal with "open adoptions" Not a debate on teir merrit. Can anyone assist her?
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Old 08-05-2015, 05:31 PM
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
18,572 posts, read 23,077,363 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by psr13 View Post
It's not likely that Putin will take over. In fact, adoptions are even happening in certain parts of Donetsk again, which is one of the heaviest fought in areas. Yes, adoptions would end if Russia took over Ukraine as happened in Crimea.

Ukraine adoptions are still available in western Ukraine and the Kiev region. I would be cautious of anyplace east or south of that area.

She child who we tried to adopt was from Chernihiv, Pryluky, which is on the Russian border.

We remain interested in Ukraine adoptions and I know many Ukrainian people. As a culture, most are more than disinterested in "open adoptions".

I share their feelings.
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