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Old 08-04-2016, 12:32 AM
 
1 posts, read 1,567 times
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He's been in and out of jail for multiple charges against him (most of which he claims are bogus), he has a drug problem, he's a liar and he is potentially dangerous. I tried to see the good in him for over a year and fell pregnant with his child, with too much faith in him. I had thoughts that he would be a good father because his abandoned him and he has a strong desire to be the father he never had. But a present father doesnt equal a GOOD father and I want this baby to have a positive stable life. I would attempt to raise the baby on my own but truthfully I would fear for my safety and my family's because of an indirect threat that he made to me "if I went against him". So now I'm considering adoption. It breaks my heart to think about but I believe it would be in the best interest of the baby and I can have a chance to get away from him and be confident that my baby will grow up with a bigger chance at a better life than I can give him/her
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Old 08-04-2016, 03:26 PM
 
13,135 posts, read 20,695,711 times
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I am a supporter of biological parents keeping their children when possible. But, sometimes, it isn't the best choice for anybody involved. Do what you feel is best, and sleep well knowing you've made the right decision for yourself, and your baby.
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Old 08-04-2016, 03:28 PM
 
Location: Texas
43,402 posts, read 52,384,520 times
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This case is really a case for adoption.

I applaud your strength.
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Old 08-04-2016, 04:51 PM
 
10,171 posts, read 7,030,831 times
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Online you can research adoption agencies. Some do good work with the birth mom, some not. Online you can get a feel for that. Remember though, the dad is likely to have to sign off on the adoption as well. So talk to agencies about how that works. If you go to Utah, they have laws that are considered not very pro-dad (which isn't usually a good thing). But it might be something helpful for people in your situation.

Best of luck!
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Old 09-21-2016, 08:03 PM
 
Location: Howard County, Maryland
1,539 posts, read 1,708,976 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird View Post
Online you can research adoption agencies. Some do good work with the birth mom, some not. Online you can get a feel for that. Remember though, the dad is likely to have to sign off on the adoption as well. So talk to agencies about how that works. If you go to Utah, they have laws that are considered not very pro-dad (which isn't usually a good thing). But it might be something helpful for people in your situation.

Best of luck!
This was my thought as well. I don't know what state you're in but the father will likely have to sign off (IF you name him). There are all sorts of legal and ethical issues but if he's the type of person you say he is, there might be a battered women's shelter that can help you as well.
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Old 09-22-2016, 08:51 AM
 
6,388 posts, read 1,267,908 times
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I am so sorry for you, OP, but I applaud you for thinking of what might be best for the child instead of what might be best for you.

However, do you have any relative out of state that might be willing to take you and your baby and agree to anonymity? I am an adoptive parent, but I still nevertheless think that it is better for all concerned if the child stays with at least one bio parent or bio relative IF that person can provide a good and stable home, no matter how poor (meaning low income) that home may be. You should also know that most states do provide assistance to low income single mothers. I think you should also call your local human services department and ask to speak to a counselor to explore your options.

But whatever you decide, you have my very best wishes -- and I will tell you that with the shortage of healthy newborns and infants available for adoption -- not all unwed mothers are as selfless as you, not by a long shot! -- that your baby is almost guaranteed of a very good home, should you choose adoption.
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Old 10-15-2016, 05:20 PM
 
11 posts, read 7,208 times
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I have worked with many women who chose adoption as a way to keep their children (and themselves) safe.
It is the ultimate sacrifice that some mothers can make. It takes love and courage.
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Old 11-08-2016, 08:37 AM
 
Location: MMU->ABE->ATL->ASH
9,110 posts, read 17,044,577 times
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I think its great that you are thinking of the Baby First.

But one thing to keep in mind its not MY baby its OUR baby the father has sign off on the adoption also. If he does not voluntary sign his parental rights away, It has to be done by court order to terminate his parental rights.

That will take time.

The Child can be placed as a AT RISK ADOPTION while it works it way thru the courts, (More or Less) a Pre-Adoption placement.
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Old 11-09-2016, 12:39 PM
 
245 posts, read 144,209 times
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Doesn't the father have to sign off. Can you get a restraining order and move
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Old 03-20-2017, 01:10 PM
 
6,337 posts, read 2,278,027 times
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Don't put the father's name on the birth certificate. There's no one to notify if there's no name on the birth certificate. When they ask at the hospital, tell them you don't know.
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