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I feel badly for infertile couples who wish to conceive but don't hate them and can't think of anyone that would have a need to hate a person for being infertile...the OP is expressing that one persons infertility isn't a reason for the other person to give their child away. Kind of like if I knew a person who wanted a Belgian Malinois for example, and they had their heart set on it but for whatever reason wasn't able to either find one at a shelter or afford/ find a reputable breeder to get one, and I happen to have a Belgian Malinois puppy-- I would feel bad for them but that wouldn't make me feel like I should give them my dog-- I realize people aren't dogs, it's an example
As I previously posted. This is the first time I've every seen an article about adoption state that something needs to be done to preserve couples' fertility. Clearly, the author has realized that adoption will not be able to help a large majority of these infertile couples and the large numbers of couples attempting to adopt is a problem for the industry.
I went to a state meeting a few days ago regarding licensing of adoption agencies. There is a proposal on the table to allow adoption agencies to create policies to discriminate based upon location, age, and occupation without losing state and federal funding. And it's based upon a PA licensing policy that allows a foster care adoption agencies to deny couples the chance to adopt that live in too rural part of PA (more than an hour for a hospital), work in a dangerous job (mining, police work, or power lineman) and if the couple's age averaged more than 35. The reasoning behind all this was there are too many couples applying and not enough adoption situations.
So clearly, some states are need fewer adoptive couples. I'm appalled at how they are going to thin the ranks and I guess we are going to have to sit back and see how things settle out. Feel free to flame me, but I'm not organizing or leading these meetings. Lastly, I don't think an infertile couples would think society likes or loves them after attending this meeting.
As I previously posted. This is the first time I've every seen an article about adoption state that something needs to be done to preserve couples' fertility. Clearly, the author has realized that adoption will not be able to help a large majority of these infertile couples and the large numbers of couples attempting to adopt is a problem for the industry.
I went to a state meeting a few days ago regarding licensing of adoption agencies. There is a proposal on the table to allow adoption agencies to create policies to discriminate based upon location, age, and occupation without losing state and federal funding. And it's based upon a PA licensing policy that allows a foster care adoption agencies to deny couples the chance to adopt that live in too rural part of PA (more than an hour for a hospital), work in a dangerous job (mining, police work, or power lineman) and if the couple's age averaged more than 35. The reasoning behind all this was there are too many couples applying and not enough adoption situations.
So clearly, some states are need fewer adoptive couples. I'm appalled at how they are going to thin the ranks and I guess we are going to have to sit back and see how things settle out. Feel free to flame me, but I'm not organizing or leading these meetings. Lastly, I don't think an infertile couples would think society likes or loves them after attending this meeting.
Over 35??? Okay, now that sounds weird-- 35 is pretty young by today's standards-- I know a lot of people who had children after the age of 40-45.... my brothers ex just had a baby on her own finally at age 47.. was a healthy pregnancy, delivery and very healthy baby. The 35 age is kind of ridiculous imo
Good article. I've read other pieces by Mirah Riben. She is a first mom and very active in adoptee rights.
Reality #6, though, is inaccurate. Kansas and Alaska are not the only states that allow access to OBCs to adoptees. The following link goes through each state's laws regarding access:
Over 35??? Okay, now that sounds weird-- 35 is pretty young by today's standards-- I know a lot of people who had children after the age of 40-45.... my brothers ex just had a baby on her own finally at age 47.. was a healthy pregnancy, delivery and very healthy baby. The 35 age is kind of ridiculous imo
You need to remember here the goal with this new policy is to reduce the number of couples applying these agencies. There are a number of ridiculous items in these new polices.
You need to remember here the goal with this new policy is to reduce the number of couples applying these agencies. There are a number of ridiculous items in these new polices.
I'm confused... adoption businesses want to reduce their clientele? Why would a adoption agency want to reduce its clientele any more than a car dealership would seek to weed out potential buyers? I'm just confused
You need to remember here the goal with this new policy is to reduce the number of couples applying these agencies. There are a number of ridiculous items in these new polices.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mondayafternoons
I'm confused... adoption businesses want to reduce their clientele? Why would a adoption agency want to reduce its clientele any more than a car dealership would seek to weed out potential buyers? I'm just confused
Most of the items in that proposal are ridiculous TBH. @mondayafternoons: Basically they are culling the herd because they can. Its kind of like if you are selling your house and have 25 offers, you can afford to be choosy on which offer you accept.
As I previously posted. This is the first time I've every seen an article about adoption state that something needs to be done to preserve couples' fertility. Clearly, the author has realized that adoption will not be able to help a large majority of these infertile couples and the large numbers of couples attempting to adopt is a problem for the industry.
I went to a state meeting a few days ago regarding licensing of adoption agencies. There is a proposal on the table to allow adoption agencies to create policies to discriminate based upon location, age, and occupation without losing state and federal funding. And it's based upon a PA licensing policy that allows a foster care adoption agencies to deny couples the chance to adopt that live in too rural part of PA (more than an hour for a hospital), work in a dangerous job (mining, police work, or power lineman) and if the couple's age averaged more than 35. The reasoning behind all this was there are too many couples applying and not enough adoption situations.
So clearly, some states are need fewer adoptive couples. I'm appalled at how they are going to thin the ranks and I guess we are going to have to sit back and see how things settle out. Feel free to flame me, but I'm not organizing or leading these meetings. Lastly, I don't think an infertile couples would think society likes or loves them after attending this meeting.
Please do not jump to conclusions about infertile people - some are fine the way they are (and actually are grateful), some will channel their parenting skills in other ways, and many know adoption is not about finding them a human even though they are targeted and adoption is marketed as such. Moving on with the basic understanding that adoption is for babies and children who need parents/homes, and it's not the other way around , then this sentence from the author, "Rather than sponsor and support adoption, we need to work to reduce demand by providing education on reducing as much infertility as possible." makes sense within the context of preventing unnecessary adoptions from happening in the first place. Relative to what you heard from the meeting - adoption agencies have lobbyists and a lot of money, they can do whatever they want, advertise and make stuff up. This is what businesses do.
Thanks for posting an example of why society hates infertile couples. You clearly demonstrate how our society hates infertile couples and blames them for society's ills.
Sometimes, it seems that as a society, we do indeed celebrate the fertile, and condemn the fertility challenged, who want to have children for the same reasons everyone else does.
Parents by adoption do not ask for awards or compliments about their generosity or their magnanimous behavior. Adoption does not make one a social justice warrior (although some parents may be) or a minister of the gospel (although some parents may be).
It just is not that way.
We just ask to be thought of as parents, who had our kids after finding out that we could not have one.Or two. Or three, the easy and non controversial way.
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