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The kids from Russia, eastern europe, are white. Most of the kids up for adoption in this country are not. That's the main reason most of us white folk go to other countries. Now, deal with it!
Deal with what, exactly? My post was in response to someone who suggested there weren't many kids in foster care available for adoption. I was providing information on that. My race and that of my one and soon to be two children adopted from foster care is irrelevant. Now, deal with that, I guess.
The kids from Russia, eastern europe, are white. Most of the kids up for adoption in this country are not. That's the main reason most of us white folk go to other countries. Now, deal with it!
I'm going to guess that is YOUR reason for adopting internationally, but not the MAIN REASON most "white folks" go to other countries. I can't be certain as I adopted from the foster care system, but I will really be surprised if this is true for the majority.
i think it is true most people are more comfortable adopting within their own race. And since white infants or even toddlers are hard to find for adoption in this country, a lot but of course not all white people go to Russia or other countries where they can find young children who will blend in with their families. Also there is a big movement in this country to not allow black children in foster care to be adopted by white folks.
actually it didn't matter to us. 35 years ago we tried to adopt a native american baby while we were living in Oklahoma but neither one of us had enough Indian blood to qualify.
We didn't even consider trying to wait for a white child. wasn't important to us so we went to Korea after we already had our own birth son. I was hell bent on having a daughter!
Or the flip side...my friend is white and has two black children...her own, natural children. She gets complimented for adopting those "kids"...when she tells people those kids are her kids...she often is met with over the top racism and hostility. Even now...in 2012. Amazing.
I have had lots of adopted kids in my classrooms as a teacher...kids can be quite rude about adopted kids...once we had a class project about geneology and where your ancestors are from...and a student told another student..adopted..she could not do the project...because she has "no clue" where her parents are from.
It also annoyed me...the subtle racism...like an Asian student was "assumed" to know about China...because she had been born there...and left at age five...hardly time to be able to discuss life in China...
Fine, but adoption has not been a part of your experience Jasper. I so respect you about many issues as I am sure you know.
However adoption is just as personal as having a child biologically.
The US has some ideas about adoption that I want to change - that NEED to change.
They were trying to be "progressive" but in obsessing about "reunification" as the ONLY GOAL of US child care, they have turned many American parents off.
I just saw something about a little two year old who had a part American Indian father who did not care when he was first adopted and noe wants him back.
The mother and he were never married. Now he shows up and this poor kid and poor parents are told to give the child up.
I am happy i9f you and others were able to have all of the children you wanted without adoption.
I was not.
The fear of parents a parent or the government taking my child away after years of trying to have a "full family" is too much for me to bear.
My hear goes out to this family and to this poor toddler who has been ripped away from the only home he ever known. So sad.
It is difficult to adopt a newborn, white infant in this country. People looking to adopt internationally know they are not going to get a newborn. To excuse adopting internationally vs from the US because foster kids are traumatized from being "uprooted from their homes" is hypocrisy - a child in an orphanage in Russia is being uprooted in a much more traumatic way. The difference, as one poster stated already, is that Russian and Ukrainian children have, for the most part, white skin. This doesn't explain Asian adoptions though.
I know several couples who have gone the route of international adoptions. They have these fundraisers and websites... why? If you don't have the $25k to adopt a Chinese 7 year old abandoned at birth then sent to an orphanage, then spend $2k to adopt a child here in America that was adopted at birth, then sent to foster care. I believe the only reason to spend the extra $23-48k is so that people will look at your child, know it's adopted and then give you attention for it - something you won't get if you adopt a child that looks like you. I don't contribute to those fundraisers. When people bring those kids home, I don't do anymore than I would if they had a child biologically. We don't have fundraisers when we're pregnant, only for international adoptions. Frankly, when I had my kids, of those people seeking a handout for their adoption, neither sent a gift when either of MY children were born; much less helped out with the medical bills afterward. Strange that they think I should help them cover the $25k+ they're spending while going back and forth to China. Adopt from Michigan - it's much cheaper.
So... there is no one reason to explain why people do it - people justify it with all kinds of excuses/reasons. But IMO, if you really just want to help children, then spending $23k extra seems ridiculous when you could spend $2k here, then donate the $23k to help the children you can't take home with you.
It is difficult to adopt a newborn, white infant in this country. People looking to adopt internationally know they are not going to get a newborn. To excuse adopting internationally vs from the US because foster kids are traumatized from being "uprooted from their homes" is hypocrisy - a child in an orphanage in Russia is being uprooted in a much more traumatic way. The difference, as one poster stated already, is that Russian and Ukrainian children have, for the most part, white skin. This doesn't explain Asian adoptions though.
I know several couples who have gone the route of international adoptions. They have these fundraisers and websites... why? If you don't have the $25k to adopt a Chinese 7 year old abandoned at birth then sent to an orphanage, then spend $2k to adopt a child here in America that was adopted at birth, then sent to foster care. I believe the only reason to spend the extra $23-48k is so that people will look at your child, know it's adopted and then give you attention for it - something you won't get if you adopt a child that looks like you. I don't contribute to those fundraisers. When people bring those kids home, I don't do anymore than I would if they had a child biologically. We don't have fundraisers when we're pregnant, only for international adoptions. Frankly, when I had my kids, of those people seeking a handout for their adoption, neither sent a gift when either of MY children were born; much less helped out with the medical bills afterward. Strange that they think I should help them cover the $25k+ they're spending while going back and forth to China. Adopt from Michigan - it's much cheaper.
So... there is no one reason to explain why people do it - people justify it with all kinds of excuses/reasons. But IMO, if you really just want to help children, then spending $23k extra seems ridiculous when you could spend $2k here, then donate the $23k to help the children you can't take home with you.
You sound like a very unhappy person.
I don't owe you or anybody else any "excuse" for adopting where I want to.
Most people who adopt DO NOT WANT ANY ATTENTION. They want to build a family clear and simple and they have their own reasons for how they do it. Believe me, we get tired of people staring and saying stupid comments.
People don't go to the expense and considerable stress to adopt internationally to "help" children. They do it for the same reasons people get pregnant. They want a family. The worse reason to adopt is to "help" and believe me there are much easier ways to help children than making a life time commitment to a child.
Once when a well meaning but rude person said "Oh it is such a good and kind thing you have done bringing this child to America", I replied with "Believe me it was the most selfish thing I've ever done. I just wanted a expand my family ."
Really you are so way off the mark with your comments. I'll just chalk them right up there with stupid and rude comments people make about adoption. Throw in a heaping load of ignorance too.
Also why is it any of your business where people adopt from and what their reasons are?
We have 3 internationally adopted kids and never once did we ask for or accept one cent for adoption fees. Some family members wanted to help but we refused asking instead good wishes and photos for family album.
And your comments about adopting a 7 year old from China are so wrong. If somebody adopts a 7 year old from China that is their choice. It is very possible to come home with a toddler under the age of 2 or even around 1 year old from China. A neighbor just came home with an 18 month old boy from China. he is adorable.
And how do you know some people aren't sending monetary gifts to their child's country of origin/ Do you make it a point of asking them?
Every couple I know makes some sort of monetary gift to the orphanage. Not required but just something some people want to do.
Also you certainly are an equal opportunity complainer. You complain about people wanting to adopt from Russia because the children are white and you complain about people adopting from China so they can get attention.
Face it, you just don't like the concept of international adoption no matter what the race or circumstances. Fine then don't do it but you have no right telling others what they can't or can do and how they should do it.
Another reason, why to seek out of country adoptions..
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