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Old 05-22-2008, 07:05 PM
Location: coos bay oregon
2,096 posts, read 8,207,820 times
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for my daughter, (shes 13) since she does still have some contact w/her bio, yet she was unhappy about having a different last name then her siblings and all, until she makes up her mind totally, we just hyphenate it, didnt do anything legal, but all her school stuff and what she uses her her full name then our last name hyphenated on.
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Old 05-23-2008, 07:24 AM
Location: San Antonio
1,222 posts, read 4,185,985 times
Reputation: 531
Originally Posted by luckyduck View Post
Hi everyone,

I'm having a bit of trouble here and it's quite a personal matter, but I figure I'll try my luck in asking for opinions here.

I am married with 2 kids, with my 15 y.o. son from a previous relationship. The biological father of my son was not around from the start, and so is not listed on the birth certificate. My son has my maiden name as his last name. My husband of 5 years has been his father in many ways from the start... financially, emotionally, etc. My husband tried adopting my son after we got married, but there was hesitation on my son's part because he didn't want to give up his family name (my family). We didn't want to pressure him, so we backed off.

Now that he's older, I've approached my son with this subject again, and he is more open to it now. So I started looking at adoption procedures... and was very scared by it! It mentions contacting my son's biological father and our family home life being investigated. When all it boils down to is a name change. So now I'm thinking, should we just skip the adoption and just try a name change? After all, the benefits of being adopted run out by age 18, as I've been told, and it's really not the financial aspect of adoption that we are concerned with... it's more that everyone has the same last name, except for my son. Also, we are not deleting or switching his last name, but just adding my husband's.

Any thoughts on which route is the better one to take?
Know how you feel we had the same problem so just changed his name legally
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Old 05-23-2008, 09:19 AM
Location: Everett, Wa
601 posts, read 1,741,271 times
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I went throught this myself and was adopted by my stepdad at 26 years old. My mom met my dad who was a GI in Germany.... long story short he was sent back to the states and that was pretty much it. My step dad has been my dad since I was 3 yrs old. They decided for inheritence purposes that it would be best to do the legal thing and do the adoption. It was painless...
but you should take into consideration what your son's feelings are in the matter.
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