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Old 01-22-2010, 01:47 AM
 
Location: Tennessee/Michigan
28,215 posts, read 47,628,039 times
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(CNN) -- The images of Haitian children crying or injured or wandering the streets alone are heartbreaking. It's no surprise there has been a flood of well-intentioned people who want to adopt those children.

Moved to adopt Haitians? It's not always best, experts say - CNN.com
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Old 01-22-2010, 08:12 AM
 
Location: Harrisonburg, VA
994 posts, read 1,464,564 times
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I think people should put the adoption on hold until it is definite that the child's family did indeed perish. I would hate to see a child being adopted...only for the kids mom or dad to later turn up...what a mess that would be.
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Old 01-23-2010, 10:10 PM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,485 posts, read 43,795,280 times
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the same thing happened in Romania after the atrocities were made public there. Some people are very naive when they think so many kids will be available right away. the ones we see coming to the USA recently already were in the adoption pipelines when the earthquake hit. The redtape and lengthy delays will mean alot of patience on the part of everybody. And remember, the costs will be significant.
I think our best bet now is to do what we can to help with medical assistance and shelter before we start planning on bringing these kids home. Just remember, there are probably alot of separations which hopefully will mean families will be reunited soon.
We have been thru 3 international adoptions and I think all this upheaval will mean even longer adoption times not shorter. paperwork will have to be undertaken and official records must be researched which will take a long time.
Heard on the radio some folks were seeing some orphans coming to USA and folks wanted to just show up at the airport and "pick one out." It does not happen like that, believe me.
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Old 01-23-2010, 11:33 PM
 
3,007 posts, read 3,362,963 times
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There was a story on the news about a couple bringing home their two little Haitian toddlers that they had already been in the process of adopting before the earthquake. It was supposed to be a moving story that made the viewer go "aaaahhhhhh . . . " The biological mother had brought the boys to the orphanage, crying and saying she couldn't afford to care for them. So the (white) American couple is portrayed as heroes for taking them in. But my question is -- why not try to help the mother keep her babies, who she obviously loves and wanted to keep, but couldn't afford?

I just found it so disturbing. All I can think about is that somewhere, there is a biological mother grieving for her children that she could not keep. I guess I'm not an adoption fan unless the child really and truly needs a new family. I also have misgivings about removing a child from his or her culture. If death is TRULY the only other alternative, then that's different. But more effort should be put into allowing children to remain in their own country of origin, in their own culture, and preferably, with their own parents. I well understand the pain of infertility on many levels, but adoption is NOT always the solution.
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Old 01-23-2010, 11:38 PM
 
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Color me pessimistic but where were all these people BEFORE the earthquake. These are children, not some abandoned pets at the animal shelter,to be picked up on a whim just because you want one. It IS heartbreaking to see these dear children but their plight can not be decided quickly. International adoptions are lengthy and costly at best. Plus there are thousands of children already in this country, whose stories are just as horrendous, that deserve loving families! If you want to adopt, look at home first. IMHO some of our celebrities have done these children no favors by seeking to adopt elsewhere.
I am adopted and I would hate to think my parents adopted me for the wrong reason.

(I will add I do think it was very fortunate the adoptions already in place have been able to be 'fast-tracked' to get those children to their new families)
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Old 01-24-2010, 05:00 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
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I've been in the adoption process since Nov. of 07 for a domestic adoption and it's been nothing but paperwork, requirements, and dealing with difficult and irresponsible counselors. We have yet to even see a child. All we get told is how impossible it is to adopt a child under 10 and how many more requirements we need to fulfill. I couldn't even imagine trying to adopt overseas. We looked into it and it costs so much money that it's impossible for an average family like us.

We really wanted to help a child who needs a home. It looks like that either it's not needed, or that it's such an impossible process that only the most determined of people need apply.
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Old 01-24-2010, 10:37 AM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,485 posts, read 43,795,280 times
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as the adoptive mother of 3 Asian daughters, nothing ticks me off more than the sanctimonious people who say "why don't you adopt some of the thousands of children in foster care in this country". These are usually people who have no experience with social services people and the adoption process in general. And how do you know we didn't try to adopt a foster care child first?

Adoption, either domestic or international, is expensive, very slow going and full of frustrations and disappointments. the above post from highway29south proves my point.
And while celebrities may have other motives in international adoption, it is not fair to lump all adoptive parents of international children as jumping on the latest fad bandwagon. Carrying around a small dog in your purse is a fad, while adopting a child from anywhere requires a level of patience and determination and flexibility most others cannot even imagine.
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Old 01-24-2010, 05:28 PM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
1,820 posts, read 4,001,385 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by no kudzu View Post
as the adoptive mother of 3 Asian daughters, nothing ticks me off more than the sanctimonious people who say "why don't you adopt some of the thousands of children in foster care in this country". These are usually people who have no experience with social services people and the adoption process in general. And how do you know we didn't try to adopt a foster care child first?

Adoption, either domestic or international, is expensive, very slow going and full of frustrations and disappointments. the above post from highway29south proves my point.
And while celebrities may have other motives in international adoption, it is not fair to lump all adoptive parents of international children as jumping on the latest fad bandwagon. Carrying around a small dog in your purse is a fad, while adopting a child from anywhere requires a level of patience and determination and flexibility most others cannot even imagine.

As the adoptive mother of 2 Asian girls, I completely agree. However, I do have to say, an "average" family can also adopt overseas. It is completely possible....
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Old 01-24-2010, 10:00 PM
 
2,605 posts, read 4,053,323 times
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It would make sense to, instead of bringing thousands of children here, to take the aid to them. They are children who have all gone through traumatic events and Haiti is what is familiar to them. After surviving the quake, I'd think their only solace would be familiarity, not to uproot them to a strange country with no one to speak their language or understand their needs.

After things quiet down and get settled into some sort of routine again, then people could go there, get to visit and familiarize themselves with who they want to adopt, then bring them here.
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Old 01-24-2010, 11:26 PM
 
3,007 posts, read 3,362,963 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by highway29south View Post
I've been in the adoption process since Nov. of 07 for a domestic adoption and it's been nothing but paperwork, requirements, and dealing with difficult and irresponsible counselors. We have yet to even see a child. All we get told is how impossible it is to adopt a child under 10 and how many more requirements we need to fulfill. I couldn't even imagine trying to adopt overseas. We looked into it and it costs so much money that it's impossible for an average family like us.

We really wanted to help a child who needs a home. It looks like that either it's not needed, or that it's such an impossible process that only the most determined of people need apply.
I'm sorry for what you are dealing with. This is precisely why I get so unhinged when some stupid idiot says "Why don't you just adopt?" or "There are so many children available for adoption, why don't infertile couples just adopt?" Talk about not knowing what the h*** they are talking about. I hope at least one person who reads this will NEVER put the word "just" in front of the word "adopt" again.
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