I am adopted, I found my biological family when I was in my 20s. (birth, parents)

[Jane72]

Originally Posted by Roselvr

If there is something genetic, please contact the birth parents.
Very hard having a child that's ill, starting from the bottom, working the way up. Which meds work, what don't. I still do not have a diagnosis. (no adoption history)

I don't know that there's anything "genetic".
The problem is not with physical health, but with drugs, delinquency, and high-risk behavior.

[Roselvr]

Originally Posted by Jane72

I don't know that there's anything "genetic".
The problem is not with physical health, but with drugs, delinquency, and high-risk behavior.

Could it be ADD?
A lot of people that I know with ADD also have an addictive behavior.

[Jane72]

Originally Posted by Roselvr

Could it be ADD?
A lot of people that I know with ADD also have an addictive behavior.

Yes, my son has ADHD.
He was diagnosed around age 6.
I don't know if my birthson has it also.
If he does, I assume his adoptive parents got help for him, as we did for our son.
He's an adult now, so I'm not sure what could really be done at this point.

[nikongirl24]

My parents divorced when I was 3 and I never knew my biological father. My mother remarried and I was adopted by my step father (who is my DAD, the best one in the world and I love him more than anything...). I found out when I was a teen that I had 2 half brothers from my biological father. In order to be adopted, my bio dad has to relinquish all parental rights to me... funny thing is, when the lawyer called him and asked if his daughter could be adopted, he said "I don't have girls, only boys... so she can't be mine". OO

A blood test confirmed it, he denied it and my step dad adopted me.

When I was 22 I found my one half brother on Myspace (of all places) and we talked on the phone that night for 5 hours! I then talked to my oldest brother and learned so much about my family and myself.

Now I have a great relationship with both of my brothers, their kids and their wives. I really am sad that I missed out on having siblings growing up, but am so thankful for the man who I call dad and who stepped in where the other stepped out.

I met my bio sperm donor dad last year and he took one look at me, said I didn't look a thing like him so I couldn't be his, and walked away.

I look just like him. Jokes on him I guess. He just won't admit that he had a girl, and not all boys. He is also on wife number 9 now.

What a winner.

I think adoption is a great thing. My grandmother was adopted and met her mother and siblings when she was in her 40's. SHe had a great, loving family when her bio mom couldn't provide her with one.

[Roselvr]

Originally Posted by nikongirl24

I found out when I was a teen that I had 2 half brothers from my biological father. In order to be adopted, my bio dad has to relinquish all parental rights to me... funny thing is, when the lawyer called him and asked if his daughter could be adopted, he said "I don't have girls, only boys... so she can't be mine". OO

A blood test confirmed it, he denied it and my step dad adopted me.

When I was 22 I found my one half brother on Myspace (of all places) and we talked on the phone that night for 5 hours! I then talked to my oldest brother and learned so much about my family and myself.

Now I have a great relationship with both of my brothers, their kids and their wives. I really am sad that I missed out on having siblings growing up, but am so thankful for the man who I call dad and who stepped in where the other stepped out.

I met my bio sperm donor dad last year and he took one look at me, said I didn't look a thing like him so I couldn't be his, and walked away.

I look just like him. Jokes on him I guess. He just won't admit that he had a girl, and not all boys. He is also on wife number 9 now.

What a winner.

Wow.. What a prize huh?

I wouldn't even add the word "dad" after bio sperm donor.. more like bio sperm donor - period or bio sperm donor "father"

What a fool he is.

I'm sorry to read this.. not surprised though.. my son has one; his story is a bit different; one child support stopped was when he wanted to be "a dad".. my son is his only child. You appear to be about the same age as my son (24)

[Steve Bagu]

Re Post #62 11-01-2008

Dear Lewis Robinson;

Read your post and can only wish the best for your future. You are an amazing young man and the future will be kind to you. Your perceverience speaks volumes and you are to be commended.

The people that adopted you are very lucky to have you.

If I were younger...I would be next in line to do the same.

You will end up as a grown intelligent adult.

All the best...Steve

[Luciana 34]

Adopted when 6 months
Met my biological father when I was 21
he rejected me with his entire family
I move to America , moved on with life. got married had kids. Recently my half sister contact me to ask forgiveness. I accepted to be friends, but its really hard withou my biological father recognized me as daughter first.
My mother I have no idea where she is. I am 38 now, They are all coming to Vegas where I live, but I dont know if it would be a good idea to see them. I was over this whole deal.. I think is better just to cutt off any contact.

[no kudzu]

I too would think long and hard about letting any of those people into your life. You don't have to hate them or be mean to them but I would not let them into my daily life. I always wonder if people have ulterior motives when they call out of the blue and want to see somebody they've had no contact with for ages. Do they think I have money? Do they think I would give it to them if I did? What do they want from me?If you have successfully moved on with your life and are over the pain, why open yourself all over again.

I have 3 adopted daughters. Oldest at 27 has a very full life, had her education, career, greAT GUY and a great future. She has no desire to know anything about her birth family. The only things she thinks about is she wishes they could know what a happy life she is having and how much she respects them for making a hard decision.

The younger girls seem to have no interest in their adoptions either. I really don't think it passes their minds. They know who their real parents are and who provides for them and protects them. We have a very functional, happy family even with all the different races and ages and backgrounds all blended together.

[miu]

My bf's mother was adopted. And actually, his grandparents adopted a total of three babies through a Catholic organization. They were closed adoptions and my bf's older sister did a search and was able to track down their mother's biological family. After one contact by his sister, nothing else happened.

I feel that my bf's grandparents raised their three adopted children with such love, that they never felt a need to look for their biological parents. Their adopted parents were their real parents and that was fine with them.

And I consider my stepfather to be my one and only true father. And that bond was created by how he treated and raised me to adulthood. I have always felt my life was complete without spending time with my biological father. I don't even think of him and if I do, I consider him my exfather. And I have never ever felt that my sisters and I did anything wrong for my exfather to have been absent from our lives. I think that we were lucky that none of our parents created any soap opera drama by worrying over possible emotional turmoils when there weren't any at all.

Blood is not thicker than water, there is no magic automatic bond between biological parents and their children. All strong relationship bonds are forged through years and decades of group interaction and activities that create shared happy memories.

Otherwise, one of my best friends is a woman in her 60's who was raised by a woman that hated her and thought her an ugly child. To this day, even though her mother has been dead for over a decade, my friend is still emotionally damaged from her interactions with her mother. This is definitely a case where her mother should have given up her daughter for adoption, and for my friend to never seek her out later on.

Maybe adopted children and adults should not be imagining their birth parents to be be perfect beautiful warm hearted people and that they were defective trash that was thrown away. Many people are just not suited to be parents, some due to lack of maturity and commonsense, some due to emotional issues, other just financially or not having a stable environment. Just look around. No one is perfect, and we all have different strengths and weaknesses.

Also, I'm tired of some people who think that human babies are some special miraculous gift from their god. Making babies is just simple biology and a procreation process that all life forms go through.

[lilgothdoll]

Im adopted also both me and my older brother Robert were, by the same adopted parents. I was 2 and a half and Robert was 5. Wednesday morning I recieved a phone call from a woman named Malaina who said she thought my birthmother married her father. My heart nearly leaped out of my chest. So I called back and discovered that not only she was infact my Stepsister but I have another stepsister and 2 stepbrothers and as shocking as that was it was no where near as shocking as finding out that Robert and I have an older biological brother named Matthew that we were seperated from. Im a mess of emotions right now and dont want to delve to much into the preadoption nightmare it turns out Robert and I lived in for 5 years of his life and 2 and a half years of my life. I had made an advertisement on some adoption website that was only partially free and never really expected to hear anything. I dont even remember the website it was, it was a awhile ago. So yes I had the desire to be found or find them at one point but I didnt expect to to reconnected with a long lost brother and i certantly didnt expect to learn that the full truth behind the lives we had before we were placed up for adoption. It is all so much to process, and i have decided i will speak to my Birthmother eventually but if I do so now ill have a mental snap. I have absolutly no desire in looking for my Birthfather really, from what I was told I wasnt around him except maybe a couple times while I was still an infant, he was abusive and pushed my birthmother up two flights of stairs and broke her jaw while she was pregnant with me. They were never married and she had a boyfriend who lived with us and he also was extremely abusive and he later became my Stepfather I guess, after my birthmother's 3 kids were out of the picture. Anyway lots of emotions running a marathon through me....